Lily983

I'll be 34 days sober tomorrow after a bad relapse. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive through all my ups and downs of this crazy journey, ...has been a bit less than a year since I tried to get sober. I took a leave of absence from my job last year (not "drinking" related, but it definitely gave me time to focus on myself) and returned this past fall. My problem was, which lead partly to my relapse, I was uncomfortable being open with my co-workers about my drinking problem, even though several of them are good friends of mine. I didn't like the idea of a private issue getting mixed up with my professional life.

Anyway, needless to say, my friends at work ( much like everyone else I tend to gravitate to) are big drinkers. I would go out with them on Friday afternoons because I didn't want anyone to suspect I had a problem, and for about 2 months I continued to interact soberly. Eventually I got too comfortable and decided I could "have a few." Well, we all know how that goes. To make a long story short I confided in one of my closest work friends, so I would have someone to hold me accountable. She was understanding (really surprised) but very supportive about it.

Problem is, it's ALL she wants to talk about now. "Are you o.k.? How is everything? Let me know what I can do." While I appreciate her concern, I feel like work was the one place where I was not walking around with the " alcoholic" stigma over my head. In recovery and outside of work i spend a majority of my time talking, reflecting, thinking, and beating myself up about my drinking problem that sometimes I simply don't feel like talking about it. I have so many regrets, guilt, and remorse on my mind most of the day, it was nice to have work as a distraction and a place where I could feel normal.

We got into an argument today because I've been avoiding her ( to avoid the discussion about my problem). I'm not sure how to address this with her without hurting her feelings.

Thanks for listening and letting me vent. Already feel a bit better!

sugarbear1

tell her some of what you just wrote.

be honest with her

PaperDolls

I think it's a pretty common thing. I would tell her exactly what you said here.

You very much appreciate her support but you like having the work distraction and a place to feel normal. That doesn't mean you won't go to her if you need some help because you know how helpful she has already been and that she will be there for you.

Congrats on your sober time!!

Lily983

i think you're both right. just have to suck it up and be honest! thanks for the advice

PaperDolls

I had a tough time with it too Lily. I never really realized it until I was faced with it in sobriety. I always considered myself a tough chick with a big mouth that will tell you how I feel. Turns out, not so much.

I was just telling my hubby when I learned to get honest up front I thought "Wow, what a novel concept!" And then we laughed. It's the same advice we would have given a friend if they needed it. It's pretty tough for me to take my own advice sometimes. I making progress there so that's a plus.

It really does just get better and better all the time.....as long as I don't drink and I continue to work on myself.