SoberRo

Stopping drinking, for me, was the hardest decision of my life. I often hear it said that sobriety is an easy choice, but for me that was not so.
I knew that my decision would be final. I also knew that one day, be it now or in the future, I would have to stop drinking alcohol. The difficulty I faced was whether that time should be now, or later. I’m a twenty-six years old mature student half way through my studies, and I don’t have any children. I contemplated continuing to drink until I was (thirty/a mother/married/a graduate/insert any other excuse here). I really, really did some soul searching before I reached the decision not to drink.
Everything after that has been super, smashing, great! I don’t have to think about it anymore. I never have to make that decision again, I just have to concentrate on the feelings I encounter having made it. Drinking is not an option for me, neither is space travel or owning a pet giraffe.
How did you find your decision? How do you feel about that decision now?

Lyoness

Great post and question SoberRo. And awesome that you decided to quit NOW rather than years down the road when it would be so much harder.

I've gone on and off various substances over the years but my deepest addictions have been to pot in my 20s and now oxy in my 40s. With pot I got to the place where the pain of using felt worse than facing whatever it was I was trying to suppress.

With oxy it's been several things. I got caught at the pharmacy trying to fill one too many prescriptions and then they contacted my doctor. I was already getting sick of going on huge dayslong binges where I would be in an oxy haze and then be filled with self-hatred when I finally emerged. I just knew I couldn't keep doing or sustaining what I was doing any longer.

It's been tough so far but I'm sticking with it. Sometimes I forget just how bad it was so I really appreciate questions like this to remind me.

Joe Nerv

I think it's awesome that you made a decision to quit drinking. I believe you will save yourself years and years of anguish by doing so. I'm going to assume that drinking was getting you into trouble... as most people don't even consider quitting, unless there's a need to.

I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone say sobriety was an easy choice and mean it literally. For most people sobriety is something they tried countless times and weren't able to actually do until they'd destroyed everything in their lives. I could say it was an easy choice for me only because I had no other choice at the time I put down the bottle. If it were truly an easy choice, I'd have decided many years earlier.

Without getting into pages of details, I became a completely non functioning, agoroaphobic, alcoholic with a rope around my neck (extension cord actually) and not enough guts to make the final move. When I landed in a detox the next day I was told by 2 psychiatrists, a counselor and the doctors that if I quit drinking and took the suggestions they were giving me that I'd get better. They gave me no other option, thankully. I was literally at the end of my rope. Looking at it like this, I might be caught saying it was an easy decision. But truth is it took a long time and an enormous amount of loss and pain to finally make it.

aasharon90

I didn't have a choice 22 yrs ago to
go into rehab. My decision was to
stop the pain of being a failure and
stop causing so much trouble to my
family. I was under the influence of
alcohol and pills which was totally
irrational thinking and action upon
my part.

Then family stepped in with an intervention
sending me to the hospital for evaluation
for my state of mind. After passing all their
physciatric tests, it was determined that I
had a drinking problem and then admitted
to a 2 week inpatiant program of recovery.

2 weeks came and went when they were to
released me but only to say that if I went home
at that time, I would surely drink again and
wanted to send me away to a halfway house
for several months. Away from my little family.

I pleaded and asked to stay where I was and
would do whatever I needed to do there. That
was the decision I made 22 yrs ago that set me
on a path of recovery learning to stay sober a
day at a time with the knowledge and tools
they handed to me.

A decision that has kept me sober for a many
one days at a time to get me where I am today.
Happy, Joyous, Free, Honest in all my affairs
passing on all that was taught to me to others
struggling with addiction.

LDT

Great question, SoberRo! You are so wise to kick this addiction early. My friend quit drinking in her 20s. She only had 2 little babies back then ) At the time I thought she was nuts. It took me a few years later to quit.....like around 30 ( lol). She once told me she was really grateful her kids ( she now has 3 ) did not grow up with an alcoholic mother. I thought she was wise and brave and ahead of her time.

I quit drinking because my body was literally shutting down ( as I said, I was a tad older when I quit than my friend ). I developed an eating disorder, had massive and daily panic attacks that felt like heart attacks, was on the verge of losing everything. So I stopped. Had a brief relapse after a year and a half of sobriety, and then happily and gratefully turned back to sobriety.

raja12

My decision to quit is because I've finally after many years admitted I'm just not in control anymore. The alcohol controls me,everytime. I've known this for a long time,but the av won. I always had delusions I would be ok,this time around. And I would moderate,but it never lasted. I'm sick and tired of living that way. And deceiving myself. This is my life,afterall.I feel great about quitting,and also scared. I think its because I've failed at it in the past. But I have firm resolve,that I'm going to make it this time.

Xune

My life was no longer manageable with alcohol in it.

tomsteve

after my last drunk, i had 2 choices: take another drink and kill myself or get help. i chose help, was gonna give it a few months and see what happened, and if nothing changed( and i was gonna put in the footwork to change) then i was gonna take the other option. that was over 7 years ago. no desire for the other option today.
best decision i ever made.

least

I decided I'd better get sober when I was waking up every damn morning sick as hell and wishing I were dead. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've never regretted my decision and don't miss drinking one bit. And I now love waking up feeling good.

Weasel1966

Sobriety has, this week, come to find me. When I see who I am and what I do when sober it speaks to me loud and clear.

This is right!

This is who you are!

This is what life's about!

So yeah, sobriety found me!

Threshold

I wonder if the challenges we face in getting sober differ somewhat with age. Likewise, I wonder if the thing that finally causes us to say "this has to end" is connected with age, or at least with stages of life.

I've read here that some people chose to get sober because they have young kids, others because they lost a spouse or job. Some the respect of their families. Others motivated by health issues. Some of those things are age related.

Anyway, to answer the question.

My decision to stop wasn't easy because I was in a fog AND because I had no idea if there was life after chemicals or it it was a life I was willing to live.

My decision to quit came because of ME. No outside force. Yes, I had a string of losses but none of them caused me to say enough, what did it was that I didn't want to die a pathetic drunken drug abuser. That's it.

I was already pretty sure I'd be dead soon due to "complications" with my mental illness, so it wasn't even the thought of death that did it...in fact I sort of would have welcomed death. But I didn't want to die that way. I didn't want to linger on as a loathsome pathetic person I despised.

I convinced myself there was some noble panache in being in recovery. Something to feel proud of myself for. That helped. And when I slipped, it helped me get back into it.

I always taught my kids to not go where they didn't want to be. So I took my own advice. Simple, but not easy.

MIRecovery

I simply could not continue and live. My world was crumbling, my relationships were shot, my body was dying, my job was hanging by a thead.

I knew I did not want what I had and believed Alcohol was at the heart of all of the problems.

That was 3.5 years ago. Today I am happier than I have ever been in my 56 years on the planet

SoberRo

Thank you everyone for such fantastic, honest and moving replies.

It is so very difficult to see out of the alcoholic haze when you're in the midst of it. I think that's how I'd summarise my sobriety; hard to find.

Once I'd found it though, I quickly fell in love with it. It is a truly magnificent state of being

Well done everyone, and Happy Christmas!

FreeFall

I'm so happy you're discovering this at a young age!! It's a life changer for sure. You sound like you have a great attitude which will really keep you strong.

I knew for decades that I would at some point need to quit completely and just kept putting it off. Not an easy decision to stop at all for me. What finally did it was seeing my best friend and drinking buddy hospitalized for 3 times in a month and finding out her drinking had escalated way out of control. I was nowhere near her level, but felt it was a glimpse into my future and it was a severe wake up call. It's all fun and games until someone feels like they're having a stroke and almost dies. I do think the wake up call would have come way earlier if I had married and had kids. Of course if I wasn't drinking I probably would be married and have kids so there's that.

Quinne

I didn't have any other legitimate option-I was too determined to stay alive at the end of my drinking. My sanity was fading. I had admitted myself to a psych ward for about the 12th time in 2.5 years. Rather, Mum took care of organising everything. I'd had enough. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

One thing that sticks with me is being told I very nearly died at birth. Born prematurely & with underdeveloped lungs, I was snatched from Mum's arms minutes after she started to cuddle me and placed in an incubator for quite some time. It's unlike me to give up without a fight, but at the same time, I had to surrender to win with alcohol.

What put the final nail in the coffin of any flirtation with the idea that I could drink again one day came when a Neurosurgeon told me I have the cerebral atrophy of someone aged 40-50. I was 25 when I had that appointment. The promises of alcoholism were verified and was told that if I continue to drink, I will be senile in my 30s. That's if I don't poison myself, suicide, or die by misadventure first.

I want to live.

Xx

nigey1

Wow I hear you. I came by the decision the same as you. I was aware I would quit one day and I guess that's why I managed to push out the date with all the usual excuses. Like you, I knew that when the day came, the decision would be final. I think you know it too but you got smarter younger, well done.

To answer your question on how I feel about it now. It is a relief plain and simple. I love the control and have no wish to relinquish it for chaos.

I wont rule out the space travel thingy though. It is sort of a day dream of mine that a UFO would whisk me away for a quick tour of the Universe. I read alot of sci fi.

MythOfSisyphus

I quit in a similar way, although much later than you (43 years old). I also knew that there would be a day when I'd have to quit. That day came unexpectedly when I just got sick of it. I'd been putting on weight and trying to figure out how to lose it and no matter what I tried there just wasn't a diet that allowed 2500 calories per day from alcohol. My body was running on empty, too, after years of daily heavy drinking. It really felt good to lay that cross down.

Dee74

Truth be told it was decided for me - my body quit on me, and I nearly died.

I'm glad it did tho - I wish I could have made a rational decision many years beforehand now, but rationality was not really a feature of my life back then

D

Admiral

I quit because I knew that I would end up ruined if I didn't. Maybe not now, maybe not in ten years, but eventually. I went from once a month, to once a week, to several times a week, and I found that I wanted more. The exact same thing had happened to me with marijuana already and I saw the pattern repeating itself again and knew that it was bad news.

I smartened up and seriously started trying to quit alcohol, and eventually I just decided to quit everything. If I smoke I want to drink, if I drink I want to smoke, they both feed each other, and I know that anything else I start is going to make me want all the others too, so the solution is to cut it all out once and for all.

Itchy

I liked it when it was voluntary, not when it became mandatory.