Day 12
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 20
Day 12
It's been 12 days! It hasn't been easy, but I managed to go to two Xmas parties back to back without touching alcohol. The first one was okay - just stayed and hour. The second was my husband's work party, and it was very difficult. I have always been a big party girl and I know people expect it of me. (I'm 44 now, so calling myself a 'party girl' is kind of pathetic!) Anyway, at the party felt awkward and got teary and had a terrible time. I faked sick - even to my husband. But I didn't drink. My last drunken blackout, and my last day of drinking was Dec 1st. Right after that, my husband left on a long business trip, so I have basically been going through this sobriety thing alone. I've been on SR every day, reading for hours and it's helping immensely. I haven't told friends either. I think telling people is my next step. I've kept it to myself because I'm scared of failure. THis morning, waking up without a hangover felt great - I made breakfast for my two little boys and dropped them at school. But today for some reason I feel very depressed and a bit shaky. And I still have a hard time thinking that I will be without alcohol forever. Will I get stronger?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 132
Yes! As long as you don't drink, each and every day will present you with more confidence, strength, and peace. You've got twelve days now; that's enough for you to get a glimpse of what's ahead of you if you continue on your current path. It's nice, isn't it?
Congratulations, BTW!
Congratulations, BTW!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: England
Posts: 81
Hey!
I’m on day 14 now. Something that really stands out to me is how incredibly challenging your 12 days have been; I have yet to attend any drink-related social occasions, have had fantastic support from my Dad (AA veteran!) and I still consider myself to have faced some very difficult times.
You on the other hand have single-mindedly kept yourself on track and have attended exceptionally stressful events without any support. You’ve done fantastically. I don’t know how I would react to being sober in a party environment, but I can imagine feeling a sense of discontentment, rigidity, isolation and loneliness. These are awful emotions and it is no wonder that you’ve been feeling fragile. However, you have overcome so much in your abstinence so far … you’ve started out running before you were sure you could walk! Nevertheless, it looks like you can run, so well done to you. But be kind to yourself, and slow down for a moment. You can do as much or as little by way of challenging yourself as you feel comfortable with. Things will improve, that is certain, but remember that you’re doing something absolutely life-changing, and it will take time.
Well done, you’re an inspiration
I’m on day 14 now. Something that really stands out to me is how incredibly challenging your 12 days have been; I have yet to attend any drink-related social occasions, have had fantastic support from my Dad (AA veteran!) and I still consider myself to have faced some very difficult times.
You on the other hand have single-mindedly kept yourself on track and have attended exceptionally stressful events without any support. You’ve done fantastically. I don’t know how I would react to being sober in a party environment, but I can imagine feeling a sense of discontentment, rigidity, isolation and loneliness. These are awful emotions and it is no wonder that you’ve been feeling fragile. However, you have overcome so much in your abstinence so far … you’ve started out running before you were sure you could walk! Nevertheless, it looks like you can run, so well done to you. But be kind to yourself, and slow down for a moment. You can do as much or as little by way of challenging yourself as you feel comfortable with. Things will improve, that is certain, but remember that you’re doing something absolutely life-changing, and it will take time.
Well done, you’re an inspiration
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: England
Posts: 81
And when I say you are an inspiration, I really do mean it. You have inspired me to go to a social event tomorrow night and overcome the social anxiety which I would normally fend off with alcohol.
I too have found it hard to tell people about stopping drinking, also because of fear of failure. I guess we don;t have to make a declaration to anyone but ourselves. In time, people will put the pieces together.
I too have found it hard to tell people about stopping drinking, also because of fear of failure. I guess we don;t have to make a declaration to anyone but ourselves. In time, people will put the pieces together.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 20
SoberRo thank you! I think the emotional stress of last night is coming out today. That's why I have tears streaming down my face right now. I am a wreck. But hey, not as much as a wreck as I could have been, hungover and ashamed. The love and support of people on SR is amazing. Good luck SoberRo, you can do it!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: England
Posts: 81
On the subject of feeling emotionally unstable (teary!) I have rather liked the feeling. I think that something I was afraid of regarding not drinking was a lack of intensity, does that make sense? I felt so strongly, desperately even, about getting “pished”, and felt such relief from acquiring alcohol, that I expected to feel indifferent about everything without the involvement or prospect of a drink.
Instead, I’ve been feeling very strongly one way or the other about everything from the news to which Subway to eat for lunch. I’ve been whole-hearted about things I wouldn’t have given a rat’s arse about before – and not in a neurotic way; more of an engaged, invested way. I think the emotional floodgates have been opened after many years of repression, but I like it!
Instead, I’ve been feeling very strongly one way or the other about everything from the news to which Subway to eat for lunch. I’ve been whole-hearted about things I wouldn’t have given a rat’s arse about before – and not in a neurotic way; more of an engaged, invested way. I think the emotional floodgates have been opened after many years of repression, but I like it!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,642
Feeling emotionally unstable is perfectly normal. As my friend said last night..... it just means you are " really, really ALIVE"! And I will take that any day of the week.
It does get easier, and you will get stronger. This is my second sober Christmas. Tonight is the annual office party ( sigh ) Last year was a little tough getting through. But you know what my biggest worry for tonight is? ....what to buy as gifts for our stupid " white elephant" gift exchange ( it's always disastrous lol).
It does get easier, and you will get stronger. This is my second sober Christmas. Tonight is the annual office party ( sigh ) Last year was a little tough getting through. But you know what my biggest worry for tonight is? ....what to buy as gifts for our stupid " white elephant" gift exchange ( it's always disastrous lol).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
I'm on day 5, and I went through a BRUTAL night two nights ago. Full-fledged panic attack at my hotel. But I feel really good today. I'm heading home to my family a new man.
You guys/gals are all bad-asses! I want you to know that. I mean it. Who's better than you? No one. And certainly not alcohol. You guys are all inspirational people.
You guys/gals are all bad-asses! I want you to know that. I mean it. Who's better than you? No one. And certainly not alcohol. You guys are all inspirational people.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 11
Go to an AA meeting. I just went to my first yesterday and it really helped. There is a whole community waiting to help you, yo just have to walk through the door. I too spent a long time in silence, telling myself I was afraid of failure, but the reality was that I was protecting my addiction, giving myself an easy way out. When you tell others, you are not only accountable, but supported. Also, most people who you spend regular time with already know. Expose the addiction and stop protecting it, that's my advice if you want to feel strong.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
you are doing amazing.
i've always had that sad feeling when i used to go to company parties/functions, where i had to attend and alcohol was involved.
then i realized that these same "parties" that i used to get drunk at are very easy to leave if i am not having a good time.
i couldn't believe that i can just leave instead of getting drunk to enjoy myself. if i am not having a good time i really don't have to force myself to have fun by drinking (sounds crazy now), but somehow that thought used to seem impossible.
i've always had that sad feeling when i used to go to company parties/functions, where i had to attend and alcohol was involved.
then i realized that these same "parties" that i used to get drunk at are very easy to leave if i am not having a good time.
i couldn't believe that i can just leave instead of getting drunk to enjoy myself. if i am not having a good time i really don't have to force myself to have fun by drinking (sounds crazy now), but somehow that thought used to seem impossible.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
