Needsassistance

Every dynamic is different, but I avoided and still try to avoid high drinking environments. That said, there are parties, holidays, football games, family dinners, etc. when I'm in these environments with fiends, family, associates, etc... I make it clear to everyone I'm done with booze and not drinking. I've found no one to pressure me at all, I've actually found a lot of interest and support from people. Next week will be 5 months sober for me and I love it.

Anna

I stayed away from alcohol completely for many months. I had to. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't. For me, I had to make a LOT of changes and I am grateful that I managed to do it.

Junebugapril

Me too on turning down invitations to parties and anywhere people might be drinking. I don't need to deal with temptation this early in my sobriety.

FreeFall

Michelle, I think you have to really know yourself and how strong you are to go to the parties especially if you know your friends will pressure you. If you honestly feel it won't make you pick up a drink, I think it's fine to go, see your friends, and celebrate a new healthy decision. If you go to the party with that little voice in the back of your head saying "you were going to quit after New Year's anyway, what's a couple more weeks?" then you're probably not going to be successful.

I look at it a little differently than most I think. I feel that if I have to stay home all the time and change every single thing I'm familiar with I will have a very low chance of success-too much deprivation at once. I actually look at these occasions as a challenge and as part of a sober life-I can't live in a bubble, and know I will be exposed to temptations and want to be able to weather them and get stronger.

I do find that I don't have the patience to hang out at the bar/parties for very long. I visit with friends, have a few laughs, and leave. It can be really boring if you're the only sober one, be forewarned. When you're sober, when people repeat themselves over and over again it might make you a little nuts lol I hate to think of the people I did that to while I was drinking ugh

Redviper

In my first month I told people many things. I was the designated driver, got too wasted the night before, had to work early in the morning and some I trusted I told I was simply taking a break from alcohol. Maybe I told white lies but it got them off my back and I'm reconsidering who I call my friend.

jstar

i'm staying away from parties if i can help it. there is christmas that i have to be at with my in-laws where there will most likely be a lot of drinking going on...but i plan to take a separate car so i can LEAVE if i need a break. i've had to be around people drinking a few times & it makes me sad to see how messed up they act and then i realize that was me for the past few years & i just don't want to be around it.

better safe than sorry is what i'm thinking...at least for me anyways as i don't know if my body, my mind...marriage...etc etc could handle another relapse from me....i'm afraid i won't make it back to day 1 if i drink again & that scares the crap outta me...

best of luck michelle....only advice i have...take your own car so you can leave whenever you want to.

michelleb1

Hi All!

Just wanted to let you all know that I have decided to go to the Xmas party tonight. My children were really excited about it and don't want them to miss out on my account.

My trigger is stress to drink. Last night (Friday night) I didn't even feel pressure to have a drink and felt even comfortable telling my partner to have one as I didn't feel tempted at all. That must have been the first Friday night in over 10 years that I didn't drink. My liver is seriously thanking me!

So I'm going to turn up and use my Dry December line, bring my own car so I can go if it gets too much.

I'm a social person and think that if I lock myself away it will only depress me. I need to learn to lead a normal life without alcohol and be strong!

My new mantra when I feel stressed out: "I have everything I need within me to be calm" which replaces my old thinking "I'm stressed I need a wine" - it really is working!

Valll

Dear michelleb1,

Don't do it. Edit: (I mean don't drink alcohol)

Ice cold water is the best most invigorating, mindblowing, healthy drink anyone could ever ask for...

michelleb1

I won't Valll

GoodBug

I'll be in your situation on Saturday and Sunday, michelleb1. I say we check in on the forum over the weekend and share how great it was to NOT DRINK!!!

michelleb1

For sure! I'm going to hop on just before I head out tonight to get in the right mind frame

soberlicious

I am the same. It is absolutely possible to lead a normal life without alcohol...in fact, life without it is far superior. Party on...you do not need the booze. You can rock without it.

ProblemDrinker

The only way to cut through societies BS distorted view of alcohol is to be proud to tell people the way it is..

"I'm not drinking alcohol because the cons far outweigh the pros, so why would I?"

Its a simple factual statement that even the most moderate drinker would find hard to argue against.

michelleb1

Made it through the party guys
Can't say it was 100% easy. I brought my non alcoholic wine so I wouldn't have too much pressure and when I felt comfortable I told a few friends that I'm having a break (little do they know how long!) I felt pretty comfortable all night but then later in the evening I started envying the fact that they all could have a wine and I couldn't. Thats when I left. As soon as I got in the car with my husband who also didn't drink I was 100% back focused and so glad that I stayed strong. While I don't want to turn into a hermit I still won't put myself in that situation again if I'm not feeling strong.

I also realised that there were quite a few others who were choosing not to drink. I think we just gravitate to drinkers when we are one.

Have to say it was also helpful knowing I had to answer to all you guys!

FreeFall

Michelle, that's great news and thank you for coming back to report. So many people post about difficult events and then leave us hanging on how it went for them...I'm glad you had fun and were able to stay sober. It gets easier over time.