Committment
 

I was reading an article today about making the committment to remain sober forever, at first I thought, yes of course that's obviously the plan but then when I thought a little harder about it I could hear that little voice at the back of my head saying "woah woah woah, forever??" it worries me that part of me still thinks that way, have you felt this way? if so was there ever a moment when you knew it was a "forever committment"?
Cheers JG x

You might want to check out AVRT in the Secular Recovery Forum. The voice you're hearing is what is referred to as the Beast. It will never be cool with the idea of quitting forever.

The good news is that your decision to quit forever is completely within your control; it may not like it, but you're the boss.

I'm overwhelmed by the concept of forever too. It's starting to feel possible though. I just can't come up with any good reason to drink anymore-I've gotten really good at talking myself out of it and realizing the negatives. AVRT concepts were very helpful to me. I don't want to spend money I don't have, stink like booze, repeat myself and forget conversations, worry about duis, etc.
none of that is appealing.

You can quit forever. Or just decide you will drink on your 200th birthday.
That little voice? Get used to it, listen to it. It's your addictive voice. If you come to see it as separate to you, you can separate from it. It won't go away, but it doesn't have to control you.

On my quit day, the 4th of July 2012.

Knowing nothing about AVRT, AA or any other recovery method, I knew I would never have another alcoholic drink for the rest of my life.

I do not drink alcohol and will never drink alcohol again. Ever.

That my friend, is what I like to call liberation.

Lots of us struggle with the idea of forever. Maybe just let the idea float in your head a bit and then you'll get used to the idea and it won't be so daunting?
Sometimes a change in thinking doesn't come overnight, sometimes it does. It all depends on you...

the little voice is your addiction.

but the little voice has no control. as you stay sober longer the voice, which is asking you to drink will get more quiet, and will definitely seem a lot more distant.

the great part is that you can tell the difference between "it" (the beast) and you.

the internal conflict with your AV can be very unpleasant, but it's harmless. nothing like a proper hangover... ehh..

haha the beast - perfect analogy! Yes ultimately I am in control and I believe I will always choose not to drink, like you said freefall, I just cannot think of any good reason to drink and I don't think I ever will, instead I think of hangovers and shame which is certainly not appealing!
thanks guys I'll look up the AVRT stuff :)

I don't care for the word "forever", its a romantic notion that is good for fairytales...but reality doesn't mesh well with. I would like to think in terms of the "future", no time table there.

I only have two months sober so I don't have a good perspective on forever yet, but I know that each day gets easier and I like the idea of every day for the rest of my life being a little bit better than the day before.
:)

I didn't drink yesterday. I didn't drink today. I am almost certain I won't drink tomorrow. That's the furthest I go with it because forever is REALLY overwhelming. One day at a time works for me right now.

Forever was too immense for me at the beginning.
Years of drinking had left me with no confidence in myself.

committing to not drinking today tho was a reasonable goal...it was something that I thought even I could do....

and then I did it again the next morning...and the next...and the next...

pretty soon forever ceased to be so daunting, cos I was already doing it ;)

D

Just for today! Easy doesn't, but do it! Goodluck .

This pretty much sums up my experience, too. Forever might seem like a long time, but it's the only appropriate schedule for me to follow. No matter how long I go without drinking or how "normal" I begin to feel, all it will take is one drink and I'll inevitably end up right back in the gutter.

It's like a magic trick once you realize that your rational mind is in control and calling the shots! AVRT taught my that my Beast/Addictive Voice is a paraplegic, completely unable gratify it's own desires for booze. It tries to trick me into feeding it but I don't want to, so I don't.

I could drink again tomorrow I chose to do so. But it would lead me back to a very dark place so why should I? Life is looking a lot better to me when I'm not looking thru a booze bottle.

I was daunted with forever. That's why I take it a day at a time. Eventually a day at a time adds up and if I work my recovery well will become 'forever'. As an addict I can't see much further than a week away, if that. That's why I keep it simple.

Natom.

I have no small inner voice telling me I may one day eat a large hairy spider.

I try to remember two things. 1) Not drinking is as hard as we make it. And I know it's hard, but I understand that as an arbitrary decision goes, it is indeed like not eating hairy spiders. My mind is what adds the baggage.

And 2) the beast is an insidious thing, but a zen teacher told me at a meditation session about the habit energy, and the pure POWER in recognizing it. A lot of the time we feel helpless because we let our brain do our thinking for us...but once the cravings kick in you can just recognize it and even acknowledge it. Hey, habit energy. And immediately much of its power washes away.

Like previous posters have said: It isn't you. Don't be fooled.

But again, I'm so new at all of this that I'm trying to figure it all out, too. I can type all of the sage advice in the world, but it doesn't mean I actually know how to follow any if it

because of the way I think...I had to stop looking at sobriety as if it was about something I was losing, stopping, or giving up.

Once I acknowledged that it is a gift I give myself. Something I allow myself to experience. That sobriety is freedom, opportunity and life. Then I wasn't worrying over the scary "forever" word. I wasn't looking back longingly and mournfully.

I began to look forward hopefully.

There are times I see some alcohol, or think it'd be nice to take a pill and go to sleep...but then I remember all the ick that went with that, and how it would take away all the good that I've accomplished in my sobriety, and I shrug it off and keep moving forward.

I can get all sorts of resentful when I start piling up the things I can't do now that I am sober, but compared to the pile of things I can do now that I am sober...that first pile is a bit of rubbish.

Boo hoo...no Christmas rum balls...then I look at my apartment, my reflection in the mirror, the respect of my friends, my bills all paid, and my plan for the future and chocolate truffles are just as good as rum balls.

I understand quiting forever is a very, very scarey thought. It was a thought I could not deal with and was counter productive in my recovery. My first goal was believing I just could never drink like a normal person because 20 years of trying had yielded only negative results.

Once I internalized that I was not a normal drinker I decided I could stay sober a day at a time. After being sober for about 2.5 years I started to believe that this day at a time was working and I started to believe this could be a forever thing.

It is just a mind trick but I do what I have to do so that I stay sober today. Tomorrow has not come and yesterday has passed. All I have to worry about is not taking that first drink today and it has worked pretty darn good.