Relapse Prevention - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-11-2012, 05:57 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
bexxed's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,202

Relapse Prevention


The universe- higher power, collective consciousness, God, whatever you want to call it, works in mysterious ways.

I start drinking again (relapsed) the way that every last one of us does- pick up a bottle/glass. Most of us fall into a false trap of "I've worked so hard, I can do this once" or "See? I quit for _____ days/months/years. I'm not an alcoholic. I can drink moderately." That's what I've done- every time. I do moderate for awhile. Maybe a day, maybe a week. Then, there's that morning when I wake up with myself and my choices. And I do it all over again. And every night, it at least crosses my mind. "Wow, I didn't want to do this. This isn't really what I want to be doing. But I started, not gonna stop now."

Today's the fourth day. By some miracle, I've gotten horribly ill with the flu- that started on day 2. I haven't had a cigarette in 2 days, haven't had a drink in 4. I've had lots of time to think about how I want my life to be- to really BE in my body and observe and experience what's happening/happened to it. I know this sounds crazy maybe, but I feel very lucky. Drinking or smoking right now, despite the fact that I am a junkie, would require serious effort that I don't have it in me to engage in. In fact, I think if I drank right now, I'd end up in the hospital. This is an epic illness.

How can we remember these lessons? I really feel that I could push through these early moments- "Oh, just one, I worked so hard", etc, if I were able to keep the things I am sure of now in the forefront of my brain all the time- like a thought tattoo, if that makes sense.
bexxed is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to bexxed For This Useful Post:
ElleElle (12-11-2012), escapist (12-12-2012), FreeFall (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 06:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 179,064
Blog Entries: 1
Posting here and reading others stories and re-visiting my own really helped me remember that things were actually 'that bad'...

even when my head was doing somersaults to try and convince me otherwise

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
artsoul (12-11-2012), ElleElle (12-11-2012), escapist (12-12-2012), Kevah (12-12-2012), Thanume (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 06:06 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
bexxed's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,202
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
even when my head was doing somersaults to try and convince me otherwise D
Ha! thanks. Yeah, somersaults is a good description for it, eh? My head makes for a heck of a gymnast! :p
bexxed is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to bexxed For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 06:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 179,064
Blog Entries: 1
Mine used to be - it's retired now

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
bexxed (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 06:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sugar Land
Posts: 28
Nice lyric Dee... let's not "Do it Again"!

That's why I keep coming back here.
carvel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2012, 07:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
is ☞ optimistic.
 
Zencat's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 7,975
Blog Entries: 11
Quote:
How can we remember these lessons?
I know I had a hard time learning those lessons. Eventually the lessons became ingrained into who I am. Now I have a reaction to alcohol that just makes me not want it anymore.

Keep moving forward, you'll get there too.
__________________


Race Around Will
R.A.W. HO Slot Car Racing
Zencat is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Zencat For This Useful Post:
Kevah (12-12-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 09:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
Clear Eyes Full Heart
 
FreeFall's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,270
You might want to look into AVRT and urge surfing. I had never heard of either before coming to SR and I think the basic principles of those methods were the key for me. You sound like you have the same patterns I did so you might have similar luck with them. You may be dealing with some withdrawal symptoms on top of the flu, maybe that's why you're feeling so sick. You should feel better soon.
__________________
“When you quit drinking you stop waiting.”
― Caroline Knapp, Drinking: A Love Story
FreeFall is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FreeFall For This Useful Post:
freshstart57 (12-11-2012), Lionhearted1 (12-12-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 09:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
Self recovered Self discovered
 
freshstart57's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,140
1. Develop awareness of personal triggers and habitual reactions, and learn ways to create a pause in this seemingly automatic process through mindfulness and present awareness.

2. Change our relationship to discomfort by learning to recognize challenging emotional and physical experiences and responding to them in skillful ways.

3. Foster a nonjudgmental, compassionate approach toward ourselves and our experiences.

4. Build a lifestyle that supports both mindfulness practice and health of body and spirit.

This is what I'm doing these days and not only is it working, but I like it.
__________________
AVRT® has shown me how to never drink again and to never change my mind.
freshstart57 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to freshstart57 For This Useful Post:
bexxed (12-17-2012), ElleElle (12-11-2012), IndaMiricale (12-11-2012), MIRecovery (12-12-2012), Thanume (12-11-2012)
Old 12-11-2012, 10:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
ElleElle's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: the interior of beautiful British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 37
It is too bad a drug cannot be invented to stop the trigger for the need of drink. They make drugs for other diseases...



Quote:
Originally Posted by bexxed View Post
The universe- higher power, collective consciousness, God, whatever you want to call it, works in mysterious ways.

I start drinking again (relapsed) the way that every last one of us does- pick up a bottle/glass. Most of us fall into a false trap of "I've worked so hard, I can do this once" or "See? I quit for _____ days/months/years. I'm not an alcoholic. I can drink moderately." That's what I've done- every time. I do moderate for awhile. Maybe a day, maybe a week. Then, there's that morning when I wake up with myself and my choices. And I do it all over again. And every night, it at least crosses my mind. "Wow, I didn't want to do this. This isn't really what I want to be doing. But I started, not gonna stop now."

Today's the fourth day. By some miracle, I've gotten horribly ill with the flu- that started on day 2. I haven't had a cigarette in 2 days, haven't had a drink in 4. I've had lots of time to think about how I want my life to be- to really BE in my body and observe and experience what's happening/happened to it. I know this sounds crazy maybe, but I feel very lucky. Drinking or smoking right now, despite the fact that I am a junkie, would require serious effort that I don't have it in me to engage in. In fact, I think if I drank right now, I'd end up in the hospital. This is an epic illness.

How can we remember these lessons? I really feel that I could push through these early moments- "Oh, just one, I worked so hard", etc, if I were able to keep the things I am sure of now in the forefront of my brain all the time- like a thought tattoo, if that makes sense.
ElleElle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 04:49 AM   #10 (permalink)
Been there, done that!
 
Lionhearted1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Blog Entries: 1
AVRT really helped me seperate them thoughts of thinking i can drink again normally because a part of my brain does not remeber pain that alcohol has put me through....
Lionhearted1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 07:03 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
bbthumper's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
I fall into that category of folks that are, as the Big Book says " unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago."

I would always get a few days past my last drink and then suddenly things didnt seem all that bad. "I just got a little out of control. This time will be different"

I found that I needed more than just bad memories to keep me from taking a drink. So far I have found nothing as effective as helping other alcoholics.
__________________
~BBThumper

~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition


A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
bbthumper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-12-2012, 07:33 AM   #12 (permalink)
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,436
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbthumper View Post
I fall into that category of folks that are, as the Big Book says " unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago."
Yup that's me. In my case it was the next day not a week or month. I was drinking the day after being released from the hospital because of alcohol.
__________________
I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself


Came back to life 7.24.2009
MIRecovery is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:29 AM.