GoldenBoy

Hello all. Let me start by saying I haven't ever dealt with anything like this in my life, and I really don't know where to start but I know how helpful forums have been for me with other things so I figured why not.

Ok, I am 27 years old and am engaged to be married to my 25 year old fiance in April. To start with, we were registering at bed, bath and beyond a couple of weeks ago for our wedding and I noticed that she could barely keep her eyes open. I asked her several times if she was ok and she kept saying she was sleepy from Benadryl, and that she was fine. Before we left we had a sit down consultation with a lady that worked in the registration department and every time I would look over my fiance would have her eyes shut. I was so embarrassed, and left very red faced. She swore up and down that it was the Benadryl so I quit questioning it. But I just knew something wasn't right.

Fast forward to Friday, and I get a text from her saying she had been suspended from her job. I immediately left work and headed home to meet her. Before I go on I should mention that she is a nurse at a long term rehabilitation center. When I got home she explains to me (through the crying) that someone reported that she was acting loopy and nodding off so her supervisor called her in for a drug test. She told them that it will test positive for Adderall (she has a prescription) and oxy since she took a pain pill from a prescription for her elbow. So they suspend her without pay until the results come back in. And this point I was livid they would do that on an assumption.

Then today she finally came clean to me that she was worried she was going to lose her nursing license because she has been abusing prescription pills. Needless to say this is a bomb I didn't see coming.

I need your peoples advice on how to move forward. How does someone in the medical field stay clean? What support do I provide for recovery? Do I keep it from my mom whom I am VERY close with? I've already torn the house apart looking for stashed pills and didn't find any. And I counted her Adderall and she actually hasn't been taking it everyday.

Thanks for any advice, -GoldenBoy

Xune

She really should see her doctor as soon as possible and tell her absolutely everything.

2granddaughters

I t sounds like the peas and carrots have just hit the fan and it's unsure what all is going to be sullied....

What does she plan on doing? How long has your relationship been? First marriage for both?

All the best.

Bob R

GoldenBoy

She says that this has scared her into stopping but I would like to see about getting her help. We are coming up on 2 years together and it will be the first marriage for us both. I just don't know what is the best way to go about helping her.

4444lost

I know from my experiance that getting away from pills all together was the only way I could stop.I went to treatment for 28 days, there I had no way of going to a doc. for more or just trying to find someone who had them. There I was able to at least have my withdrawl is a safe enviroment, but its a life long stuggle. That was 6 years and many relapses later. my spouse has not been a great supportter so if you drink or have a good time It will effect most peoples sobrity so be prepared to change some of your ways, if you have to.

MIRecovery

I would talk to an expert in substance abuse. Make a private appointment for yourself and express your concerns. There are a ton issues that need to be addressed in your situation.

AlwaysGrowing

Marriage isn't to be taken likely. Please come clean with those around you as THEY will be your support group. As much as it hurts and embarrassment I would put the marriage on hold for you and her. She needs to know you are serious and you need FULL disclosure and education on what you and she are into.. This affects both of you in more than just financial ways.. So be open to your family, it will only get worse if you don't..
AG

Wesley423

for me i had to do a 30 day treatment. like 4444 said it gets you out of the environment and gives u a place to detox. also the center i was in had a special program for nurses called inpaired prof. this programed deals with people in the medical field and works with state boards on lisc. issues. she can do this with some hard work. your pal in recovery...wes...

Anna

I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope your fiance will get support for herself. We have a forum on this message board for Friends & Families of Substance Abusers and you will also find support there.

GoldenBoy

Thanks for the advice guys. She got her job back today. I guess it had been long enough since she abused that nothing outside of the adderall showed up. Obviously this is a blessing financially, but the underlying problems are still there. I am going to look around our area for some type of anonymous support group for us to get involved in.