Wastinglife

I am up in the middle of night coming off a 4 day relapse. I have been in recovery less than a year and I know most people will relapse before getting it right. For those of you here who have achieved lasting sobriety, how many times before you got it right?

Dee74

I have no idea.


I tried many times to quit drinking but for 15 years I never quite got my head around 'never again'.

Once I did - once I accepted that my relationship with alcohol was and always will be toxic, and that my life had to change - I've maintained lasting sobriety.

Don't bet yourself up too much - we can often make that an artform...and that despair can lead you back to drinking.

You made a mistake...but you're back on the right road now.

Think about what you need to do, and what you need to change.

If I can do this, you can

D

hypochondriac

Try not to think of any more times Wastinglife

Look at the positives... your relapse only lasted four days and before that you were sober for nearly(?) a year! That's a massive achievement and it isn't diminished by your relapse.

Just try to figure out what went wrong or what was missing from your recovery and move on x

Xune

Zero.

I aim to keep it that way.

I suspect I've found strength in accepting that in order to have a worthwhile life, I simply cannot drink alcohol.

You can do this.

BruceJ

This varies greatly with different people.
For me...I sobered up in '93...went to treatment...lots of AA. I didn't drink for about 10 years....went down to Louisiana on a job to clean up Katrina's mess with a bunch of other guys....and started having a beer or two after work.
Came back home and was able to keep it to a beer or two for a few weeks....then 3 - 4, then ..... well .... right back into my old drinking pattern and probably worse.
I actually wish that the 1st sip would have led to my old pattern immediatly....it would have been easier .... but alcohol is, as they say, cunning..baffleing...powerful.
Anyway, I stayed drinking for about 5 years....nearly lost everything.

Sober about 100 days now....I know what to look out for now....the trick is to never let your guard down.

All the best.

MrsKing

I don't really count my past attempts. I wasn't serious - I didn't really know what I was doing/talking about. I said 'I'm quitting drinking' or 'I'm not drinking for a while' but I really meant was I'll give it a go... see what happens - I was never prepared to stick it out forever like I was when I quit properly this time. There was a difference - I don't know what it was - a determination maybe, or a simple hatred for who I was and what I'd done and seeing no real life ahead for me unless I stopped. Whatever it was, it meant something, and I knew that I had made a commitment. Before... not so much. So I don't say I've had 'relapses' because I didn't mean business those other times.

MIRecovery

Totally agree, I quit many many times but I had no intention of never drinking again. Until I realized that alcohol and I would never be able to co-exist did things start to get better

LDT

One relapse after a year and a half sober.

That was enough for me. That was all it took.

tomsteve

i couldnt have one of these relapses mentioned unless i was sober, which for me is not just without alcohol; it is of sound mind. so after my last drunk was when i got serious; i knew if i took another drink i was gonna kill myself. i got help. i havent had a drink since 4/21/05.....yet.

BabyJane

I lost count! But I learned that I couldn't do it alone. I asked for help from friends, family, the sober community at large, and God. It hasn't been easy, but I have done well considering I was able to quit drinking for almost 5 years and am now off drugs too.

just don't give up.

duane1

I couldn't get past a day or two for the last 5 years because I really wasn't committed to quitting. I thought in my alcoholic mind that I was, but I really wasn't. I needed to resolve my mind to the fact that my life with alcohol was over. No 1 drink or on 1 special occassion. Being an alcoholic, it it tough to wrap your mind around never again. Though once I did it, the air seemed to be let out of the ballon and it became more managable to take it one day at a time. I am over 6 months now. I still use the get through the day approach if I have cravings. Seems to have worked, though I can never let my guard down.

Joe Nerv

I'm one of those fortunate ones who put it down (in 1984), and never picked it up again. Anytime I was going through anything that made me want to drink, whether a situation or just an urge, I wanted to get past it because I knew if I drank I would only have to face it again one day in the future. Plus I felt I'd have to go through everything I already went through all over again, and probably more intensely. I knew I wanted to be done with alcohol. I had no reservations. I wanted to learn to live a sober life and I was willing to do whatever was necessary to obtain that. I was completely open minded and willing. Those 2 attributes (or gifts) saved my life.

Delilah1

My story is pretty similar to this. If I think beck to my past attempts to quit drinking and I never really committed to it. I would stop for a few days, sixteen was the longest prior to stopping for good this time. I knew I needed to have a plan and various supports in place. Checking in here daily has helped me the most.

Nikkipoo

I relapsed after 6 months. It took me a 1 1/2 yrs.to get back to my old drinking patterns, but this time I was hiding it from my family and friends.
Today is Day 17 again! I learned from my relapse which came out of nowhere that I truly can not have just one.....

IndaMiricale

First you did great by coming right back and admitting that you drank
You want to quit
You said you wont give up, thats a big key no matter what happens as long as your alive you can be sober.

Now on the other hand these are just things I had to learn the hard way..

I used to say I relapsed when I was first trying to quit. But I learned this wasnt really true.

In order to relapse I that mean I had to change the mold or model . Otherwise I didnt really relapse I just simply did what I knew how to do and always did drink..(that was actually a relief to learn I didnt really relapse.)

So with that Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes huge thing to learn.
Not drinking must become number one above all else. And I had to go learn how to do this from people that had ...

So for me it was AA, and without it I would not be here..

You can be free..