Lots of Questions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 13
Lots of Questions
Okay, I found this site while looking for some way to deal with my AH drinking. I have been browsing, briefly posting for a few days. I thought I was here to gain support and understanding, but it seems I have just ended up having more questions and being confused. Sorry for the length.
At this time, I have probably 2-3 separate issues I need to address, and hope that someone can at least point me to the right rooms.
First question: My husband started AA last week (after 6 years of hiding his drinking), he is faithfully doing 2-3 meetings a day, he would have detoxed right away(15-45 day program) but they have no room for him at any detox facilities we can afford. We checked within 250 miles.
I went to his first 2 meetings with him -- to offer moral support, and help explain the group process. I was considering going as well, since by the classic definition I am an alcoholic, and believe our relationship would be better if I gave up drinking as well.
However, I have read posts that state Do not go the meetings of your loved one. Is there a reason for this approach. I actually thought that it might be better for our relationship, since we would discuss our issues, and share things there that we would never address at home.
Does AA address this directly, has anyone tried this?
Second Question: I believe that I am an alcoholic, yet I do not think I have a drinking problem, is that logical or at least possible?
My history, I started drinking at about 11 years old I never got "drunk", but definitely got buzzed. By 13, I was drinking at all parties, supplying the alcohol, and still not getting drunk. By 15, I was taking alcohol to school in a 32 ounce sports bottle, drinking it by noon, and going home to refill at lunch.
At 18, I got pregnant, and did not have a single drink until I turned 21.
At 21, I only drank 5 times that year, but it was always about 3 half-gallons (1.75L) in about 36 hours, I still did not feel drunk, only more sociable, most people thought I had not been drinking at all. I got pregnant again that year, and once again did not drink.
At 25, things went down hill fast. I was diagnosed as bi-polar and had the same binges, but more often. The alcohol never affected my physical actions, yet it usually resulted in very poor decisions. (Intercourse with strangers, spending rent money on more alcohol, etc). I rationalized that all of this was caused by my bi-polar disorder. "If I could cure that, I could stop drinking" I had BAC of over .35 nine times that year. For hours, I drank without showing it and only feeling buzzed (maybe 30 drinks or so, then #31 would take me from buzzed to on the floor.
That behavior lasted about 5 years. Then one day I just decided I didn't want to drink anymore. That was 2004, and for 2 years I did not drink at all.
In 2006, I started again, same behavior, I binged about 8 times that year. But never had a BAC over .3 Then I decided that my AH, (we were a couple resulting from an episode). He could not hold his liquor like me, so it was no fun to drink with him, and I quit.
Did not drink again til 2008, when I decided that I could drink normally, I chose 3 special occasions a year to have 2 drinks (usually within a 4 hour period. This lasted until the 3rd time, when 2 became 20). Felt bad, and went to only 1 drink two occasions per year. But I still end up binging once a year. But now, I plan it out, I know ahead of time, I prepare everyone, I even stop my meds, and I really enjoy myself. I do everything possible to remain safe. Yet I always get sick about every 25 drinks, and have to start over. Usually these binges only last 6-8 hours, not days like before.
I always have a good time, but afterwards I always wonder if that binge will be the start of continual drinking. Some self-assessment tests say I am an alcoholic due to the repetitive binging actions coupled with my previous behavior. Others say that my drinking is managable, and I should only be concerned if my drinking increases. Most people on the boards say that questioning your actions is a good indicator, but I only started questioning it after learning about my AH issues. I have never received any treatment for my drinking, but I am starting to think that I should stop completely, at 37, I am probably too old to keep doing this. Yet I know that without help, my occasional binging will continue.
Has anybody else had any experience with this issue? Can you tell me which forums/chat rooms may offer help?
At this time, I have probably 2-3 separate issues I need to address, and hope that someone can at least point me to the right rooms.
First question: My husband started AA last week (after 6 years of hiding his drinking), he is faithfully doing 2-3 meetings a day, he would have detoxed right away(15-45 day program) but they have no room for him at any detox facilities we can afford. We checked within 250 miles.
I went to his first 2 meetings with him -- to offer moral support, and help explain the group process. I was considering going as well, since by the classic definition I am an alcoholic, and believe our relationship would be better if I gave up drinking as well.
However, I have read posts that state Do not go the meetings of your loved one. Is there a reason for this approach. I actually thought that it might be better for our relationship, since we would discuss our issues, and share things there that we would never address at home.
Does AA address this directly, has anyone tried this?
Second Question: I believe that I am an alcoholic, yet I do not think I have a drinking problem, is that logical or at least possible?
My history, I started drinking at about 11 years old I never got "drunk", but definitely got buzzed. By 13, I was drinking at all parties, supplying the alcohol, and still not getting drunk. By 15, I was taking alcohol to school in a 32 ounce sports bottle, drinking it by noon, and going home to refill at lunch.
At 18, I got pregnant, and did not have a single drink until I turned 21.
At 21, I only drank 5 times that year, but it was always about 3 half-gallons (1.75L) in about 36 hours, I still did not feel drunk, only more sociable, most people thought I had not been drinking at all. I got pregnant again that year, and once again did not drink.
At 25, things went down hill fast. I was diagnosed as bi-polar and had the same binges, but more often. The alcohol never affected my physical actions, yet it usually resulted in very poor decisions. (Intercourse with strangers, spending rent money on more alcohol, etc). I rationalized that all of this was caused by my bi-polar disorder. "If I could cure that, I could stop drinking" I had BAC of over .35 nine times that year. For hours, I drank without showing it and only feeling buzzed (maybe 30 drinks or so, then #31 would take me from buzzed to on the floor.
That behavior lasted about 5 years. Then one day I just decided I didn't want to drink anymore. That was 2004, and for 2 years I did not drink at all.
In 2006, I started again, same behavior, I binged about 8 times that year. But never had a BAC over .3 Then I decided that my AH, (we were a couple resulting from an episode). He could not hold his liquor like me, so it was no fun to drink with him, and I quit.
Did not drink again til 2008, when I decided that I could drink normally, I chose 3 special occasions a year to have 2 drinks (usually within a 4 hour period. This lasted until the 3rd time, when 2 became 20). Felt bad, and went to only 1 drink two occasions per year. But I still end up binging once a year. But now, I plan it out, I know ahead of time, I prepare everyone, I even stop my meds, and I really enjoy myself. I do everything possible to remain safe. Yet I always get sick about every 25 drinks, and have to start over. Usually these binges only last 6-8 hours, not days like before.
I always have a good time, but afterwards I always wonder if that binge will be the start of continual drinking. Some self-assessment tests say I am an alcoholic due to the repetitive binging actions coupled with my previous behavior. Others say that my drinking is managable, and I should only be concerned if my drinking increases. Most people on the boards say that questioning your actions is a good indicator, but I only started questioning it after learning about my AH issues. I have never received any treatment for my drinking, but I am starting to think that I should stop completely, at 37, I am probably too old to keep doing this. Yet I know that without help, my occasional binging will continue.
Has anybody else had any experience with this issue? Can you tell me which forums/chat rooms may offer help?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
From my understand anyone who is diagnosed with bi-polar can't drink period. Alcoholic or not. Because of the meds that their doctor prescriptive them can't mix with alcohol. Better off stopping now before things get worst!
Welcome to SR!
Welcome to SR!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Trying2Forgive
I've been both a binger and an all day drinker.
I don't see one as better than the other...for me they just two different points on the the same continuum.
Both are problematic and dangerous behaviours IMO.
I'll leave your other question to those more familiar with AA
I know you'll find support here - welcome!
D
I've been both a binger and an all day drinker.
I don't see one as better than the other...for me they just two different points on the the same continuum.
Both are problematic and dangerous behaviours IMO.
I'll leave your other question to those more familiar with AA
I know you'll find support here - welcome!
D
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