isinganyway

Oh cleaning... spiritually, mentally, emotionally cleaning. Environmentally! I was doing the (piled up) dishes tonight and realized I've let the dishes pile up in more than one area of my life. Keeping my room clean, keeping in touch with friends and family, checking in with myself and on here, going to meetings.

It's hard for me to do a little every day, but when I don't... things pile up, and then I am too intimidated to begin trying to fix them. And then I ignore the problems, they get worse. My energy gets run into the ground from all the excess "stuff" (whether clutter, emotional baggage, dirty dishes lol) sitting around. Sound familiar??

SleepyKitty

I'm the same way! I love to keep my room clean, but it has been in an atrocious state for months now. It's REALLY bad. I've been trying so hard to keep up with everything and everyone in my life that I just get overwhelmed by the daunting task of even starting to clean that I just step around the mess and don't even bother.

renaldo

If I clean my apt., the kitchen table and computer desk are strewn with paperwork within 2 days max. And you can't properly vacuum when the floor is obstructed with stuff there "temporarily."

Sazzle

I'm messy occasionally too. I put people before cleaning and I do believe that 'a tidy house is a sign of a dull life'. I've been much better at the bit at a time approach. My mantra is 'don't put it down, put it away' also: 'only touch a piece of paper once' either pay it, shred it, recycle it or file it when it comes to mail/post. It really works!

Having said that my kitchen is a mess right now lol

S x

Trying2forgive

I really appreciated seeing this post. Unfortunately, I seem to be the opposite, I am actually a hoarder, and one of the laziest/selfish people ever. I do not clean, other than to do the dishes, laundry and litter boxes. I have a husband and 2 kids, and I have always kept things just clean enough to not get in trouble with social services or have him leave me.

Ironically, I just found out that he is a closet alcoholic, and I tossed him out. I mentioned to him that I was busy cleaning the house since I had to get a roommate to help pay bills, if he goes to detox/rehab for a month. He broke down crying!! Naturally, I thought he was crying thinking of how he could not provide while he was gone, and that he felt guilty that he caused all of this. But NO! He was crying because he said I never cared enough about him to keep a clean house, but I would do it for a complete stranger.

I am still cleaning, or working on it, I got 2 foot square size spaces in the living room picked up, (trust me that is a big accomplishment, it took over 45 minutes for each one, I still have to steam clean and vacuum the area, but am waiting until all of room is ready.)

Seeing this post will probably give me the encouragement to go on. To see that someone who doesn't live like me needs help, just shows me that there is hope for me yet. I also realized that I do need to work on more than just physical cleaning. I have weight issues, which cause depression issues, which cause laziness, which cause my house to be even worse. In addition to working on my house which I am doing for money; I am going to strive to work on me, for myself and my kids. I have printed your post, and put it on my mirror, it may not change me, but it can't make me any worse.

ACT10Npack

I let the mess go until I can't stand it anymore. I think we all do that from time to time. As long as you don't relapse then you should be okay.

Natom

isinganyway,

I can really relate with what you are saying. Sometimes throughout the course of the day I am so busy I tend to neglect any recovery based activities. I only have to look at my journal to see where I haven't done anything. There's often 3 or 4 day gaps between entries. I am getting better at it but I still find it a struggle to sit down and do stuff. I have always had some kind of weird OCD/Procrastination type state of mind where I won't start or do anything unless I consider the situations perfect for them.

I often won't do a journal entry because I have a hard day...even though that is exactly the right time to make an entry. I have found I have to force myself to do stuff sometimes but I always feel a lot better after I have put in the effort and done it. The same goes with doing any stepwork. It takes me several days to sit down and start it but once I have started it I usually end up doing quite a lot of it and very regularly. My advice will just be to try and make blocks of time for your recovery based stuff because gradually the blocks of time grow and become so ingrained that it becomes a habit.

Natom.

Dee74

I'm pretty good with the emotional and spiritual cleaning now...I used to let things pile up but I've learned to 'clean as I go'...otherwise I get overwhelmed & stressed....

Physically cleaning up? I'm still working on that LOL



D

hypochondriac

I feel like I can only clean up one thing at a time. Right now I am trying to function in society so the housework has been entirely left, though I manage to do the dishes every couple of days. I'm tempted to post a pic because it's quite comical really. Once my social diary is empty I'll clean up x

MycoolFitz

I have a pile of laundry getting so high it will soon have its own snow pack

MrsKing

I get stressed (VERY stressed) if my kitchen is a mess. I vacuum at least once a day and wash dishes at least twice a day. My home still isn't as tidy as I'd like it! I don't dust enough or clean my windows enough. I have a dog who likes to make mess and a husband who at times seems incapable of cleaning up after himself!

To be honest... I wish I cared a lot less. I wish I could come home and relax if there are crumbs on the floor or if there are a couple of dirty dishes on the side!

aasharon90

Thru out my 22yrs sobriety, what I learned
way at the beginning of my journey was that
I didn't have to be perfect in all I did. That
the words, "PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION"
was action that needed to be practiced each
day.

The most important thing to remember was
to work at staying sober first and formost
because without that then I wouldnt have
anything else. That I wouldnt be about to
clean house, be mentally, physically, emotional
available to family, friends, job etc.

Over the yrs. I continue to do at least one thing
if not more, and that is a huge accomplishment.
Even staying sober that day is just as huge for
this alcoholic in recovery. In doing it that way,
I dont feel bad or ashamed or failure, or lazy.

Be kind to yourself each day and things in life
will become easier. It's not the big things in life
that get the best of us, but rather the itty bitty
knitt picky things that over whelm us and take
its toll which could lead to a relapse.

Keep life simple. Very simple and easy in recovery.

isinganyway

Wow... I am blown away by these responses. I need some time to think about each one. Thank you, all of you. :
~Katherine

(Also having Dee and mycoolfitz respond on my post makes me feel like an SR celebrity! lol)

TTBABP

I love this.

Trying2forgive

Haha!! I will mention this in another post, but after reading the initial post in the thread, and deciding that I needed to make a real effort to start "Cleaning", I have brought more misery on myself than I thought possible.

My son is helping clean from my hoarding, we try to do more than the initial 6 sq. ft. per day. We are up to 1/2+ a room per day, and I only get one box to sort later, the rest has to be done immediately, trash, pass on, put away!

I also have started working on my physical cleaning. Today I walked for 30 minutes to the library, (detoured to get 44oz soda with added syrup, figure out the logic on that one) and I also walked the 20 minutes back, even though I was offered a ride.

My emotional cleaning has been found in the comfort that the forums offer, and from reading not only the Al-Anon book, but also the AA Big Book, and the NA book, since they all offer varying approaches to the same ideas.

So, why is this cleaning a problem... My AH!!!!

Not only is he hung up on the idea that I did not love him enough to clean, but now I did not love him enough to lose weight when I gained it due to my health problems...

and I did not love him enough to color my hair blonde, (I died it from black to red 2 months ago--so don't understand why that is relevant)...

And he complains that I am spending more time online than I did with him, since we only watched TV together, or I spent time with my kids,(after his poker sessions ran 2 hours later than he told me they would, so we were already in them middle of a game or whatnot)...

and by reading up on the groups and trying to get through Big Books, I am now preparing to manage his addiction, and take over, since I evidently think he is "too incompetent to get through the program unassisted".

Really?!?!?

I guess my efforts would be better spent going back to the way things were, and just doing nothing but waiting for him to straighten out, so I can forgive him and he move back in like nothing happened. Oh, wait, I think that is his delusion speaking again, so now I need to "clean" out the middle of my head, so it can go in one ear and out the other without getting stuck in my brain!!

Oh well, at least I know I am trying, and it is for me, not him!!! I appreciate what everybody else has said, I have taken something from each post

Lyoness

I appreciate this thread, too. I am always cleaner in my mind/fantasy than I manage to be in my home. I usually find the state of my space matches the state of my mind--clutter=clutter. Everything does feel so hard and overwhelming, too. That idea of OCD/procrastination really hits home with me. It's like if I can't do it ALL and perfectly I just don't bother. It's so hard to just find a spot and begin.

I really like your post aasharon. Sometimes we need someone else to remind us to go easy on ourselves. Thanks!

Eseilenna

I'm certainly not the queen of clean, but I have a bit of motivation and that is avoiding the multitudes of bugs that also love a messy house, and are rampant here in Aussieland.

isinganyway

THIS. Living in New York City + messy kitchen = bug hell. It's definitely motivating...

Thepatman

I personally feel more centered mentally when my house is clean and in order.
My house is my sanctuary, so I keep it niiiiiice ;-)

ShootingStar1

The spiritual sides of cleaning aside, there is a website called FlyLady.net about routines for cleaning, including what to do if you're living in a disaster. She's funny - sometimes a little too preachy, but if you overlook that it's a fabulous way to ease into better patterns. Look for "crisis cleaning". Her motto translates to something like "housework poorly done is still better than nothing done"... It's not about perfection - where have we heard this before? it's about the next right step. It works!

ShootingStar1