Just found you... and jumping in
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 11
Just found you... and jumping in
I am here because I have to do this (be sober), but definitely feel like I can't do it without the support of others who are on the journey.
Why do I have to do this? Because I was given an ultimatum by my significant other on Friday night and I know that if I don't I'll be on the road to rock bottom. I was told that if I bring another drink into the house I'll be asked to leave. He told me bluntly that I am not a real nice person when I'm drunk (and that I'm drunk - not just "tipsy" - every night), that it's hurting our relationship. He also pointed out that I'm on a downward spiral... on the brink of losing my job and everything and everyone. I didn't want to hear it, but it's true.
I've joined a similar forum before and tried several times to quit drinking. The longest I ever went was 5 days. So I finally just gave up trying and gave in, and it's only gotten worse.
I'm on day three today. I've been depressed and just can't take being around people (except my significant other). He's taking good care of me - making sure I eat and being there to talk to and to hold me. But it's hard. I just don't know what to do with myself sober.
I also don't know what to do with all the thoughts crowding my brain constantly. Thoughts like nothing's going to be better anyway, anger at my significant other, feeling like it might be easier to just move out and keep drinking. Ugh.
Well, that's where I'm at... and now I'm here. I'll be reading through other threads tonight. What I've read so far has sparked a glimmer of hope. I'm glad you all are here.
Thank you!
Blossom
Why do I have to do this? Because I was given an ultimatum by my significant other on Friday night and I know that if I don't I'll be on the road to rock bottom. I was told that if I bring another drink into the house I'll be asked to leave. He told me bluntly that I am not a real nice person when I'm drunk (and that I'm drunk - not just "tipsy" - every night), that it's hurting our relationship. He also pointed out that I'm on a downward spiral... on the brink of losing my job and everything and everyone. I didn't want to hear it, but it's true.
I've joined a similar forum before and tried several times to quit drinking. The longest I ever went was 5 days. So I finally just gave up trying and gave in, and it's only gotten worse.
I'm on day three today. I've been depressed and just can't take being around people (except my significant other). He's taking good care of me - making sure I eat and being there to talk to and to hold me. But it's hard. I just don't know what to do with myself sober.
I also don't know what to do with all the thoughts crowding my brain constantly. Thoughts like nothing's going to be better anyway, anger at my significant other, feeling like it might be easier to just move out and keep drinking. Ugh.
Well, that's where I'm at... and now I'm here. I'll be reading through other threads tonight. What I've read so far has sparked a glimmer of hope. I'm glad you all are here.
Thank you!
Blossom
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Hi Blossom,
Congratulations on 3 days sober!
I sure do remember being afraid, confused, angry and just about every other emotion, when I knew that I had to stop drinking. Take a look around here and you will see that there is life after alcohol.
Congratulations on 3 days sober!
I sure do remember being afraid, confused, angry and just about every other emotion, when I knew that I had to stop drinking. Take a look around here and you will see that there is life after alcohol.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Welcome Blossom
It's very hard to quit for another person - in fact I found it impossible.
But if you want to quit, for yourself - and most of us do at some level - then use that as your focus maybe?
You'll find a lot of support here - check out our Class of December thread also in this forum) lots of people quitting this month in there
D
It's very hard to quit for another person - in fact I found it impossible.
But if you want to quit, for yourself - and most of us do at some level - then use that as your focus maybe?
You'll find a lot of support here - check out our Class of December thread also in this forum) lots of people quitting this month in there
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 472
Blossom, congrats on 3 days sober! You will find plenty of support on this site. I'm on Day 8 - longest I've ever stayed sober, and this site has been helped me no end, I don't think I could have done without SR support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Borger Texas
Posts: 120
I am glad u made this decision. You should seek some help. Such as AA or a treatment facility. I just got 46 days ,and i would have never made this far with out detox treatment and the support i have found inNA and AA groups.
S. O. B. E. R. Stands for son of a bitch everthing is real. We have spent years covering up or emotions with acohol or drugs. Now we are feeling all the emotions for real and that is hard to get use to. Hang in there. One day at a time. If thats to long than 5 minutes at a time. Good luck!!!!!
S. O. B. E. R. Stands for son of a bitch everthing is real. We have spent years covering up or emotions with acohol or drugs. Now we are feeling all the emotions for real and that is hard to get use to. Hang in there. One day at a time. If thats to long than 5 minutes at a time. Good luck!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 11
Thank you for the replies and welcome!
I am quitting for myself... because I don't want to live the alternative. My significant other just showed me what my choices are. He did ask me to cut back awhile ago, and I couldn't because I was trying for him.
I don't know if I'm ready for a face-to-face support group. I have social anxiety and don't think I could make myself go. I appreciate the suggestion, though, and will consider it a possibility for the future. For now, I'll just be trying to find my place here.
Congrats on day 8, Dragon!!
I've been hibernating in my bedroom since our talk Friday night, but just now moved myself and laptop into the living room. It's going okay. Don't know if I'll feel up to having dinner with his parents tonight, though. Still feeling like being around other people will be too much to handle.
--Blossom
I am quitting for myself... because I don't want to live the alternative. My significant other just showed me what my choices are. He did ask me to cut back awhile ago, and I couldn't because I was trying for him.
I don't know if I'm ready for a face-to-face support group. I have social anxiety and don't think I could make myself go. I appreciate the suggestion, though, and will consider it a possibility for the future. For now, I'll just be trying to find my place here.
Congrats on day 8, Dragon!!
I've been hibernating in my bedroom since our talk Friday night, but just now moved myself and laptop into the living room. It's going okay. Don't know if I'll feel up to having dinner with his parents tonight, though. Still feeling like being around other people will be too much to handle.
--Blossom
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Hi Blossom. I was thinking of saying what Dee said, too. I would not have been able to quit drinking because someone told me to.
In fact, after not drinking for three days, I saw a new doctor. He said that since I have hepatitis C, I cannot drink at all. My reaction was to want to go slam down a whole bottle of wine. I am glad that I had already quit drinking for three days when he said that, or I would probably still be drinking my whole bottle of wine a night right now.
Would an AA meeting be a good place to find some friends to help you through this tough time?
I am glad to see you here. I hope you can make the decision for yourself to stop drinking, because someone else's ultimatum is not the answer.
In fact, after not drinking for three days, I saw a new doctor. He said that since I have hepatitis C, I cannot drink at all. My reaction was to want to go slam down a whole bottle of wine. I am glad that I had already quit drinking for three days when he said that, or I would probably still be drinking my whole bottle of wine a night right now.
Would an AA meeting be a good place to find some friends to help you through this tough time?
I am glad to see you here. I hope you can make the decision for yourself to stop drinking, because someone else's ultimatum is not the answer.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Water's Edge
Posts: 239
Plum blossom, if you are going to quit and stay quit, you have to get through some hard, rotten feeling days which turn into weeks and longer for some people. improvements are slow, but gradually accumulate. It is just that simple, just that hard. You ask what you will do sober. I did not do much of anything except not drink alcohol and try to eat nourishing food and lots of fluids. After a few weeks I added exercise, but I think some add it much earlier. I really couldn't. Do what you can when you can, but give yourself permission not to do things you are not up for.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,557
Hi PlumBlossom. I remember being very fragile when I first quit. I was emotional and very sorry for myself. I was so glad I had found SR, because the people here pulled me through that frightening time. I was told not to expect too much from myself, to take tiny baby steps - to be patient & kind with myself as I healed.
Each day you'll feel a bit better. One day you will wake up and feel wonderful. Life will be worth living again, and you'll have hope and joy back. We know you can do this.
Each day you'll feel a bit better. One day you will wake up and feel wonderful. Life will be worth living again, and you'll have hope and joy back. We know you can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Hi plum,
I just joined myself. I am at low point too right now. Depressed and feeling hopeless. I recently ruined 8 months of sobriety in disastrous fashion. I haven't left my condo since Friday. I guess we just have keep trying.
I just joined myself. I am at low point too right now. Depressed and feeling hopeless. I recently ruined 8 months of sobriety in disastrous fashion. I haven't left my condo since Friday. I guess we just have keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Welcome Plum and Wastinglife,
SR is a great source of support. Read and post lots and know that you can do this. Hope you are both feeling a little better each day. Looking forward to seeing both of you on here!!
SR is a great source of support. Read and post lots and know that you can do this. Hope you are both feeling a little better each day. Looking forward to seeing both of you on here!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 11
Thank you to everyone for your replies. It is good to hear the good and bad to expect... and have you just share where you're at. I'm taking all your suggestions to heart and appreciate being pointed to other places on the forums to converse.
Wasting: yep, we just have to keep trying. We are not alone... this is a good thing. Congrats on making it those 8 months!!! I can't even imagine at this point.
--Blossom
Wasting: yep, we just have to keep trying. We are not alone... this is a good thing. Congrats on making it those 8 months!!! I can't even imagine at this point.
--Blossom
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