memyself

Hello,


I am ?alcoholic? with Asperger Syndrome plus mild depression (dysthymia...diagnosed by a psychologist). I may need to quit alcohol. I seem to have two different drinking modes. One is social drinking...the other is binge drinking. I like to go out with my friends 1 or 2 times a week during happy hours and I love the socialization and, yes, even having a two or three drinks..and it genuinely is just two or three drinks. My problem is that on Saturday (and sometimes Friday too) night, I have this horrible habit of getting an entire twelve pack of beer and drinking it by myself. I have had this habit for about 8 years. I can't seem to break it. Alcoholism?

If I could just quit alcohol and get it out of my life, I would love that. My problem is this: I have to socialize and I need to not be depressed. I quit for 45 days back in the spring and it was so isolating and depressing. I never felt so dead and lifeless in all my life. Maybe I was depressed because I wasn't getting alcohol, but I have a feeling that a large part of that was due to not socializing at all. When I resumed drinking, it was because I felt largely like life wasn't worth living without alcohol, plus my mind wouldn't stop obsessing. Just this constant obsessing about 'am I really never going to drink again' and 'what about new years' 'what about parties' 'what about happy hour' 'what about that study that says that moderate drinkers live longer'...just on and on and on and on. This just would just go on and on and on to the point where I would spend my Friday evening and Saturday afternoon lying down in bed because my own mind was driving me absolutely nuts with this obsessing.

I know I need to quit drinking but the paragraph above describes what happens when I do quit. Obviously binge drinking is not acceptable, but I need to be at least reasonably happy and not be isolated. I'd quit drinking today and never look back if I could have a social life and not be horribly depressed. I know that quitting drinking is the most rational best thing to do...but the idea of quitting drinking forever hurts a lot.

AA is not for me, but any tips or strategies that you guys can come up with to make this a little more comfortable would be very much appreciated.

Anna

Socializing is great for all of us, but it doesn't need to involve alcohol. Why not volunteer in your community and give back?

If you are looking for something outside of you (alcohol) to make you happy, you will end up like I did and come close to losing everything. I am grateful that I have found peace and joy within myself and I no longer have to seek those things in unhealthy ways.

Dee74

Hi memyself

we can get all caught up in labels I think - sometimes it's best to cut to the chase...if your drinking is causing you problems, then it's time to quit

I know you'll find a lot of support here - I can recommend our Class of December thread (also in this forum) you'll find many other people quitting this month there.

You'll find many methods of recovery at play here too -including of course AA - but many more besides

Welcome!
D

hypochondriac

Welcome to SR memyself

I think early recovery is isolating and depressing. It is also worth it to have a life free from alcohol though. I think a lot of alcoholics or people who just drink a lot tend to be the sort who go in for instant gratification so when it comes to getting sober, if we don't see results straight away we tend to get frustrated. I remember feeling that way after a few weeks of sobriety, which is funny because I drank for over a decade so I don't know why I thought I'd adjust to life without it so quickly!

It may be worth looking into other recovery methods like AVRT or SMART recovery, or even just hanging out here and reading other peoples stories to see if you can relate. You can learn a lot here which can help you x

Delilah1

Welcome to SR! You will find lots of people on here who understand and will support you.

ACT10Npack

I agree with Dee74 saying that it's a label and you should not think too much about it. If you have trouble with alcohol then do something about it. SR is a great place for support. Sometimes the things you love will need to change. You can find other things that you can enjoy beside drinking. Your comment about living longer with moderate is up in the up in the study but binge drinking and drinking 3 drinks at happy hour a few times a week is not moderate drinker.

It maybe a good time to find other things you will love without drinking. The long it takes for you to decide to quit drinking the hard it will take when you really want too. Good Luck and welcome to SR!

CMack

I think the feeling of being backed into the corner by society's ever pressuring attitude that you must drink is what scares you.

I am currently going through the same cycle of constant relapses, with some justification of the drinking, a small period of peace, followed by the cliff dive into blacking out and dangerous antics.

Ironically, I have gone out sober and danced, had fun, and made friends. Sans the alcohol. It boggles my mind how I keep falling off the horse. I loved waking up knowing I spent only $5 for 2 sodas or whatever, and feeling amazingly refreshed.

auden67

Obsessive thoughts are part of the addiction, and often symptomatic of an addicted mind. In my experience, the obsessive thoughts get better once you no longer give yourself an "out" as in doubting that you will stay sober. Honestly, I find its a similar pattern whether its binge eating, drinking or anything else.

For me, I avoided social situations for a while but now go out to a lot of things. One, folks caught up in addiction tend to feel "terminally unique" and I don't think its good practice to stay home and obsess. I think you have to practice sobriety, like anything else you have to practice to get better at. As I learned how to be sober, I knew better how to act, relate to people, soothe myself in anxious situations, and realize that even tough situations will pass.

There are a lot of options for treatments out there, and I suggest doing lots of reading up on then. I read like 6 drinking memoirs when I first got sober, and it helped me realize how tough addiction can be on our lives. The time lost, life wasted, on obsessing about drinking, drinking, and recovering from drinking is terrible. Life is too short for that.

Good luck, and keep hope. I never thought I would have fun socially without a drink, but now I love it, and find myself more content and interesting to boot. Welcome to SR!