Hello im new !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: York
Posts: 5
Hello im new !
Hello everyone i found this site by googleing how to stop binge drinking and i decided to join as it looks like a great place to ask for some advice.
I'll tell you a bit of my story first.
Basically i am 23 i have two daughters one aged 3 and the other is 11 months (a new years day baby!) anyway for a while now,well since i had my girls ive come to realise that my drinking isn't healthy at all. I started drinking when i was 14 my parents were and are alcoholics, i drank to fit in at first as my freinds were doing it. I met my partner at 17 and i then started drinking for confidence i was quite shy unless i was drunk where i'd then be the life and soul of the party and we'd all laugh at the stupid things we did the night before. I had my 1st child at 20 stopping drinking then wasn't a problem as wasn't stopping smoking 10 months later i found out i was pregnant again but i lost the baby at 9 weeks i believe that is when my drinking changed. It knocked me for six, i know its very common but it killed me inside.
Almost a year ago i had my 2nd baby my health visitor was lovely she'd pop in for a cuppa every now and again and even came round once just because she was passing i classed her more like a friend i started to feel really down and she made me go to the doctors. My doctor diagnosed me with moderate clinical depression under the understanding i had to stop drinking whilst on these tablets. Well it's probably got worse my depression is worse and my binge drinking is out of control my tablets make my drinking different everytime sometimes i can have 10 drinks and feel fine other times i can have 2 and be out of control but even then i cant stop once ive started until i pass out. The days after i feel terrible more guilt and shame than hangover i look into my kids eyes and think if something happened whilst i was out of it like a fire or something they would probably die.
Today i write this as 2 days ago i went out with some people i used to work with (my partner still works with them as we worked together)and i made a fool of myself the whole of the nightclubs must have seen my downstairs region thanks to me taking my leggings off and just wearing the dress that barely covers my bum i am covered in bruises from falling in my heels and i was literally in the gutter for a lot of the time i was out. So tomorrow at work no doubt my poor partner will hear how much of an idiot i was. The worst thing was i normally am more drunk than that at least i can remember i normally cant! Ive lost 70% of my friends this way i am lonely and feel i have no-one to talk to about this. My partner is also a binge drinker who occasionally drinks during the week now.
I need to get over this for my girls and im never going to get over my depression whilst these feelings of guilt and self hatred are hanging about due to my drinking! I hate that by friday i am looking forward to getting drunk more than anything else. I WILL beat this this time, friday will have been my last drink. I would love to have someone in a situation like mine contact me privatly so we can help each other it would help me greatly if i had someone to go through this with. Also has anyone got any tips to help me? Many thanks.
I'll tell you a bit of my story first.
Basically i am 23 i have two daughters one aged 3 and the other is 11 months (a new years day baby!) anyway for a while now,well since i had my girls ive come to realise that my drinking isn't healthy at all. I started drinking when i was 14 my parents were and are alcoholics, i drank to fit in at first as my freinds were doing it. I met my partner at 17 and i then started drinking for confidence i was quite shy unless i was drunk where i'd then be the life and soul of the party and we'd all laugh at the stupid things we did the night before. I had my 1st child at 20 stopping drinking then wasn't a problem as wasn't stopping smoking 10 months later i found out i was pregnant again but i lost the baby at 9 weeks i believe that is when my drinking changed. It knocked me for six, i know its very common but it killed me inside.
Almost a year ago i had my 2nd baby my health visitor was lovely she'd pop in for a cuppa every now and again and even came round once just because she was passing i classed her more like a friend i started to feel really down and she made me go to the doctors. My doctor diagnosed me with moderate clinical depression under the understanding i had to stop drinking whilst on these tablets. Well it's probably got worse my depression is worse and my binge drinking is out of control my tablets make my drinking different everytime sometimes i can have 10 drinks and feel fine other times i can have 2 and be out of control but even then i cant stop once ive started until i pass out. The days after i feel terrible more guilt and shame than hangover i look into my kids eyes and think if something happened whilst i was out of it like a fire or something they would probably die.
Today i write this as 2 days ago i went out with some people i used to work with (my partner still works with them as we worked together)and i made a fool of myself the whole of the nightclubs must have seen my downstairs region thanks to me taking my leggings off and just wearing the dress that barely covers my bum i am covered in bruises from falling in my heels and i was literally in the gutter for a lot of the time i was out. So tomorrow at work no doubt my poor partner will hear how much of an idiot i was. The worst thing was i normally am more drunk than that at least i can remember i normally cant! Ive lost 70% of my friends this way i am lonely and feel i have no-one to talk to about this. My partner is also a binge drinker who occasionally drinks during the week now.
I need to get over this for my girls and im never going to get over my depression whilst these feelings of guilt and self hatred are hanging about due to my drinking! I hate that by friday i am looking forward to getting drunk more than anything else. I WILL beat this this time, friday will have been my last drink. I would love to have someone in a situation like mine contact me privatly so we can help each other it would help me greatly if i had someone to go through this with. Also has anyone got any tips to help me? Many thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,410
Welcome to SR. I don't have any kids and so I can't help you or understand about miscarriage. But what I can say is that you may need to stop if alcohol is making you feel this way. It only make things worst and the long you keep going with these binges, the harder it is to stop. There are a lot of recovery programs out there AA, SOS, AVRT and WFS but they all have the same things of stop drinking.
Good luck on what you do and maybe you need to talk to you're partner to about quitting so things wont get worst.
Good luck on what you do and maybe you need to talk to you're partner to about quitting so things wont get worst.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: York
Posts: 5
Thank you for your reply i know i need to stop i really do, ive tried before and failed many times. I just dont understand i only drink once or twice a week i really wasnt expecting it to be all i look forward to now and for it to take over my life so much. I do believe if i could get my partner to stop drinking too it would help but he is in the same boat as me but is no-where near ready to give up, he just isn't in that place yet unfortunatly 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Hello lonelygirl88:
The only lasting treatment I found for my alcoholism is Alcoholics Anonymous. It has enabled me to be sober, sane (most of the time) and serene (relatively) for over 23 yrs.
For a hopeless/helpless drunk who thought they would die in 1989 it's been a success story.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
The only lasting treatment I found for my alcoholism is Alcoholics Anonymous. It has enabled me to be sober, sane (most of the time) and serene (relatively) for over 23 yrs.
For a hopeless/helpless drunk who thought they would die in 1989 it's been a success story.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome lonelygirl 
I'm sorry for your loss.
I know you'll find a lot of support and understanding here tho
why not join our Class of December thread? (it's also in this forum)
it's for people quitting this month
D
I'm sorry for your loss.
I know you'll find a lot of support and understanding here tho
why not join our Class of December thread? (it's also in this forum)
it's for people quitting this month
D
Recovered AA member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Glen Ellyn, IL
Posts: 11
Welcome lonly girl88. I too had a drinking problem and found a twelve step program which has showed me a way out of the mess I was creating. As of today I celebrate 3 years with out a drink or drug.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
