False sense of security
 

Ok so I am winding down of Day 8 - with Friday and now Saturday night behind me. I have a party to go to tomorrow, though. I feel so great. So in control but I'm afraid that feeling is tricking me into letting my guard down and allowing me to think I can have that one glass of wine at the party. I'm telling myself I won't but there's that little feeling that just scares the heck outta me. Guess I am just needing to write it out to reason it out - gonna go make a plan.

Day 8 is way too early to put yourself in this position.

90 days minimum, even then, it all ties back to your past drinking behavior.

This false sense of security, is really your alcoholism telling you that you do not have a problem....

Stay strong.

I'd say the name of your thread, false sense of security, is exactly right. You are putting yourself in quite a dangerous position. I only say this out of concern because I have done exactly what you are going to without the spiritual defense against the first drink. I failed on every occasion.

Luckily, now I have the tools to be on guard for this. Life has gotten so much better and I can enter a social situation without even having to wonder if my sense of security is false. It isn't.

I wish you well in whatever you choose and hope for the best possible outcome for you.

Let us know how it goes either way! :)

If you feel unsure or worried TTBABP then don't go - there will always be another party :)

D

You're right. Watch your back. The tiger (your addiction) is watching you. Day 8 is definitely a zone of risk. It's called the "pink cloud". An euphoric feeling that "all is well". And that wicked little voice inside a person saying, "It's all right. You just had a little too much to drink! It happens to everyone! Now you might reward yourself by having just one. To show your pals you're O.K. and that you're one of them. You can control it."
If you're an alcoholic you can't control it. You might think you can. You might have one or two drinks, go home and have nothing and say, "See! It was O.K." But you start back down that slippery slope, gradual at first, but if you've had a drinking history, getting steeper very soon, and then the big drop off. And a horrible climb back up. Some don't make it back.
If you hear that voice inside yourself try to remember that that voice is not your friend. Any more than the tiger at your back.

W.

I wouldn't go. I could not have managed to do that and stay sober.

TTBABP. I am also on Day 8. We had people over for dinner last night and had wine in the house. It was hell!! I drank seltzer (soda water) with lime all evening while everyone got merry. What made it worse was that dinner was late and I was also starving. Nobody noticed that I wasn't drinking so I didn't have to explain but i obsessed about the wine all evening and I would have loved to have joined everyone in a glass or three.

Thinking back to last night, I was in a crappy mood all evening and just wanted the night to end....not the best hostess. I feel good this morning that I didn't drink last night but it was a reminder of how tough it is going to be this Christmas period.

go late, offer to be the driver...."no thank you, i'm on meds, can't drink"

Monday night parties are a wierd night to party....you'll be on your best behavior, look fabulous and not have to worry about getting "booze face"...NOT attractive!

Day 8 and going to a booze fueled party?

I'd pass and go to a party in the future...well into the future.

There will be other parties.

Yikes, I agree with what everyone else said. I have turned down parties and even dinners out at restaurants. I just don't want to be around wine. Way too tempting for me on Day 22 sober.

Thank you all so much for your advice and support. I did go to the party (It was actually today Fandy- Sunday. I started the thread on Saturday). It was a kids bday party but as expected there was plenty of wine and beer available. There were an awful lot of people there so the hostess offered me wine when I first got there which I declined and then she got too busy to offer again or notice that I was not drinking. I did have the urge once or twice to have a glass but suprisingly that was it and they did pass quickly. I told my DH that if I even looked like I was caving to drag me out of there but thankfully that was not necessary. I know that not going probably would have been the better choice but it is done and I am none the worse for wear and please believe me that despite going I did not take all of your advise lightly and it was the words of people here that really kept me from accepting that glass of wine when it was offered.

So here's to an entire weekend under my belt and here's to many many more sober weekends for me (and everyone else who wants them).

Again thank you all so much - your time and advice is invaluable to me.

KEEP COMING BACK--maybe you should run your thinking by someone you trust and listen to what they think.

Ahhh, yes, that 'voice', the source of those thoughts that say that you can drink again. Maybe not right now of course, but in a week or so, I'll have been sober for a coupla weeks, maybe only one or two. It's no big deal. I stayed off it for this time, I can do it again. I deserve it. I'll quit for good right after that. No liquor this time, just a beer or two. Wine? I'll be drinking it with that fabulous meal, and what is a good steak without a glass of red, anyway?

That voice is not you, it's the voice of your addiction doing everything within its power to get you to drink, everything in its power to raise doubt about your choice to stay sober. That addiction voice has no power at all, only the power we choose to give it. You have ultimate control, but only by making that plan to never drink, and to never change your mind. Nope nope nope.

Here's to a lifetime of sobriety for you, TTBABP. You can do this.

I'm hosting a Christmas party at my home on Sunday. I'm a little scared of the holidays. I'm kinda like you. I think that I can't possibly enjoy my dinner without wine. I also have a kids party this weekend. I think I won't go to that. I have declined other parties for the same reason. Maybe one day I will enjoy people's company sober. Until then I will be a curmudgeon. I don't want to tell people because I'm afraid of their judgnments. They think you are weak or just making excuses for not drinking with them. I think people wont understand you when you are highly functional.

I am not sure I will ever feel secure again. I understand what you are saying.

But the first sip will make everything in life seem less. I cannot choose that again. Ever.

Just enjoy feeling good for a while before testing what sobriety truly means to you.

Fandy - I know you probably didnt mean for that to be funny but i REALLY needed to laugh and I pictured a booze face in my mind and lost it! thank you HA! :lmao