CopDoc

I am really pissed at myself. I went 7 days, not a drop of alcohol, and last night I broke down and drank. I bought a handle, but told myself I wasn't going to get drunk. Just a few drinks. Well, I'm sure you all know how that worked out. I feel like total crap today, not only because of the hangover, but because I basically threw away 7 days of fighting not to drink. What a waste. Feeling like this, though, makes you realize how great it is to be sober. What a difference between waking up yesterday and waking up today. I slipped, and had to admit it, but I am not giving up here. I will beat this.

TTBABP

CopDOc - I was in the same boat this time last Saturday. I tell you what dee told me - take care of yourself today and make a plan tomorrow. Feel better. When you are finsihed beating yourself up - pick yourself up and start again.

Healthyfood

I relapsed twice. I think that its easier to stay sober than start over again from day one. Pick a new date and start from fresh. Be strong.

Junebugapril

I think it will be easier for you now, because you had all that time sober
Happy to see you here.

courage2

Don't give up, copdoc! Your story sounds familiar -- telling yourself you'll just have a couple. Lately I've been dry a few days in a row (I've been a daily drinker for years, so that's a big change for me), and then one or two drinks... not drunk -- then dry again for a few days. But I'm learning that so-called moderation just frustrates me & reminds me that what I really want is to get stinking drunk! Why is a real commitment to sobriety so scary?

Anna

I think it's important to figure out what caused the relapse and to learn and prepare yourself so that it doesn't happen again. I'm glad you're back and working on your recovery.

Xune

I can't beat my addiction to alcohol.

I did however surrender to it and simply refuse to fight it any longer.

The mindset of surrender is a liberation that is instrumental in my remaining sober.

sugarbear1

drinking is but a symptom of not being able to live without drinking....

It's about learning to live life.....sober!

MsJax

Hi copdoc . I completely agree with xune's post. When I tried to get sober in the past I too was fighting to "beat" alcohol, but this last time when I got sober successfully (about 20 odd months ago), I just gave up fighting. I knew that alcohol would always win and it had beaten my butt. Giving up, while not always easy, has been the best thing I have ever done in my life.

artsoul

Yeah, when that voice starts saying "one or two won't hurt," think about how you feel today. There's no satisfaction for us after a drink or two anyway.

Glad you posted - you did good....hope you feel better soon!

medicatrix

No, listen: you did yourself an enormous service here. You gave your body a whole week to recover from the toxic effects of daily drinking. DAILY drinking. DAILY. You let your kidneys, your liver, your heart, your brain, a huge rest from that horrible onslaught. Your mind might have thought you were fighting for air every single one of those days but your body leapt at the chance to repair itself cell by cell.

Just think how much healthier and brighter you would be on all fronts if you made it two weeks next time. Just think about how pink your liver would be getting, how lustrous your skin would be. Imagine the first night of real sleep after your true detox. Imagine your mind being totally, totally clear.

You got a taste of that. Don't you want more of it?

dragon12

Don't beat yourself up CopDoc. You did great for 7 days and you had a taste of how well you will feel in the future when you have beaten this nasty, destructive habit. Start again and good luck.

cat1961

Sorry for the relapse CopDoc

I had a very close call just an hour ago when I went on a smoke run (where I usually buy my beer). Thought to myself riding my bike, "hell, I'm not doing anything and it wouldn't hurt to get a 4-pack of tall boys." WRONG!

I talked myself out of it before I got there thinking of the viscous cycle that would be just around the corner. Home, safe and sound having some iced coffee and thankful I made that decision.

BabyJane

This is just a temporary little setback. You'll be ok and you can start over. In the beginning I didn't do anything right except not give up. It takes what it takes. We are glad you're here. Honesty is huge and you're being honest with everyone too so that, to me, is a cool thing. It takes a brave person to admit that you slipped and be willing to keep going.

IndaMiricale

Welcome back

I would like to share a couple thoughts with you.

First you did great by coming right back and admitting that you drank
You want to quit
You said you wont give up, thats a big key no matter what happens as long as your alive you can be sober.

Now on the other hand these are just things I had to learn the hard way..

I used to say I relapsed when I was first trying to quit. But I learned this wasnt really true.

In order to relapse I that mean I had to change the mold or model . Otherwise I didnt really relapse I just simply did what I knew how to do and always did drink..(that was actually a relief to learn I didnt really relapse.)

So with that Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes huge thing to learn.
Not drinking must become number one above all else. And I had to go learn how to do this from people that had ...

So for me it was AA, and without it I would not be here..

You can be free..

phoebe64

I do not think you lose the 7 days. One bad night does not erase 7 sober days. Just interrupts the consecutive days sober. You were still sober for 7 days. That is still good for you.

So, yes, you drank, you feel awful, and now you don't drink anymore. Then it will be, I only drank that one time in the past month, and hopefully, someday, that one time in the past year, 5 years, and so on. But you still have that 7 days sober.

I think it is a process for many of us if you read the stories. Each step gets you closer, hopefully to realizing how to do it better.

WalterX

Like others have said, the important thing is to not give up!

I relapsed a few times when after I first started my path to sobriety. Once you're feeling better, it may help to think about what caused you to relapse in the first place. Were you feeling lonely? Did you have a hard day at work?

At least for me, I found that planning out what I'm going to do in those situations instead of drinking really worked. When I'm feeling lonely and none of my friends are free, I call my family; they're always happy to hear from me and it cheers me up. When I had a hard day at work, I go to the gym now or go buy myself and my girlfriend a nice dinner.

Finding mechanisms to cope can make things a whole lot easier. But the important thing is to NOT GIVE UP.

Delilah1

Glad you came right back, and like many have said you still have those 7 days. So 7-1 and tomorrow will be 8-1, then 9-1...

I know I have had many slips in the past, I was just not wise enough to get right back on here so they lasted a lot longer than one day.

Have a happy and sober Saturday!!!!

Dee74

some great advice here CopDoc
You fell for the big lie...like a lot of us did...but next time that lie will have less traction

Don't beat yourself up - just get up and keep moving forward...you didn't Quite clear a hurdle...but the event continues...

welcome back

D

totfit

While it may be symantics, you haven't really "relapsed", just "slipped". Relapse requires first being in recovery, which is not just abstinence for a short period of time, but making gains in a positive direction over a longer period of time. Sounds like you are just having a tough time getting started.

I am not a proponent personally of any specific program or way to "recover", though I do believe making major strides and changes in a positive direction is crucial if you want to get into recovery and maintain. First thing is that I would not beat myself up. I would look for what I could do, that I am not doing that would help me stay abstinent and get me into a lasting recovery.

Recovery is not always easy. Initially for most everyone it is uncomfortable as we are forced to deal with things and make changes that take us out of the recovery zone. While this may not be a popular opinion, I do think recovery is exponentially easier than continuing on in our addiction. Addiction is a slow roll into hell and recovery is a way back up the ladder. Abstinence may be uncomfortable, but it is a heck of a lot easier than the alternative. I am no masochist. If being a drunk were easier and better, that is what I would be doing. I am taking the easier softer way by staying sober.