Alcholic looking for advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Alcholic looking for advice
Hi,
I have had a drinking problem for a awhile now. I am 24 and have finally decided to try to help myself. I started drinking a lot when I was 17. It has affected my life negatively since. I have been dating a girl for 5 years now but drinking has always been a problem in our relationship. It started out as me being the only person with the problem but recently I decided I wanted to change my ways. However my girlfriend tells me she supports me however drinks a good amount herself. Its hard living with someone who still drinks for me.Its not that she drinks but doesn't really support me when it comes to me picking up a drink. I have expressed my need to change but in some ways feel like she is somewhat of a negative influence. I know I am in control of my own environment but at the same time it makes things more difficult. I guess I am just looking for advice as what to do. I have many good opportunities coming my way but if I continue the path with drinking I don't feel like I will be successful.
I have had a drinking problem for a awhile now. I am 24 and have finally decided to try to help myself. I started drinking a lot when I was 17. It has affected my life negatively since. I have been dating a girl for 5 years now but drinking has always been a problem in our relationship. It started out as me being the only person with the problem but recently I decided I wanted to change my ways. However my girlfriend tells me she supports me however drinks a good amount herself. Its hard living with someone who still drinks for me.Its not that she drinks but doesn't really support me when it comes to me picking up a drink. I have expressed my need to change but in some ways feel like she is somewhat of a negative influence. I know I am in control of my own environment but at the same time it makes things more difficult. I guess I am just looking for advice as what to do. I have many good opportunities coming my way but if I continue the path with drinking I don't feel like I will be successful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Personally I would ask her not to drink around you unless there was a good reason (you are out socially on a meal out or something). I don't have a significant other, but I have a flatmate and he respects me enough not to drink in the house. We were never big drinkers at home, it was always in the pub. In the early days, it's so important to not have any extra / unecessary hurdles.
Take good care of yourself and do what you need to, to protect your future. Like me, it sounds like you are well aware of the benefits if sobriety for the future that is opening up for you.
S x
Take good care of yourself and do what you need to, to protect your future. Like me, it sounds like you are well aware of the benefits if sobriety for the future that is opening up for you.
S x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nevada
Posts: 174
I can understand your situation. I live with my girlfriend who even tonight got entirely wasted and passed out on the couch. It's a challenge to stay sober but you have to be selfish and do it on your own. If she follows your lead then good. But if not just be prepared to deal with it on your own. Don't let alcohol stop you from success like it did me.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
I was unsure if I wanted to join and post on this forum. But I have to say it was very nice to see people understanding and knowing where I am at. Your words meant a good deal. Its nice to see people whom understand my situation and give support.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 611
Hello there,
I can really relate to this post. I'm in recovery (just turned 30 so a bit older than you but still young for total sobriety) and my boyfriend is "normal" and still drinks and / or smokes pot almost every night. He doesn't usually get too crazy or out of sorts but it's still a challenge. I didn't want to ask him to stop, it's his life and his decisions but I did have a talk with him about doing it in front of me, especially when I'm having one of those days where I really struggle. Only you know how bad things were for you before you quit, but for me, things were so bad that I know in my heart I have to put sobriety first or I'll loose ALL of my relationships and maybe my life. I've accepted the fact that if it got too hard or he got too into these habbits, and I was going to either leave or relapse, I would have to leave.
That's just me but I think if your partner loves you a frank discussion may not be a bad idea. And perhaps you can come here next time instead of focusing on what else is gong on around the house you know?
This is my safe place. Here and AA.
I can really relate to this post. I'm in recovery (just turned 30 so a bit older than you but still young for total sobriety) and my boyfriend is "normal" and still drinks and / or smokes pot almost every night. He doesn't usually get too crazy or out of sorts but it's still a challenge. I didn't want to ask him to stop, it's his life and his decisions but I did have a talk with him about doing it in front of me, especially when I'm having one of those days where I really struggle. Only you know how bad things were for you before you quit, but for me, things were so bad that I know in my heart I have to put sobriety first or I'll loose ALL of my relationships and maybe my life. I've accepted the fact that if it got too hard or he got too into these habbits, and I was going to either leave or relapse, I would have to leave.
That's just me but I think if your partner loves you a frank discussion may not be a bad idea. And perhaps you can come here next time instead of focusing on what else is gong on around the house you know?
This is my safe place. Here and AA.
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