Accept yourself and have realistic expectations
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Accept yourself and have realistic expectations
Just tossing a quick idea out there; maybe it should be obvious but it isn't always. Quitting drinking will not fix every problem in your life! I feel it's important to understand this. Often we have unrealistic expectations. When alcohol is running your life you might think all you need to do is stop and life will be perfect. This sets you up for future failure when you realize you still have problems.
Yes, you will still have problems! The kids will still track in mud, the dog will still poop on the carpet and work will still suck!
Accept it! Understand that life isn't a fairy tale, it's just life. It's full of trials and hardships, even for people who never drank a drop in their life.
Booze will kill you. You were wise to stop. Now face the fact that as other problems crop up the sober you is much better equipped to deal with them than the drunk you ever was.
Yes, you will still have problems! The kids will still track in mud, the dog will still poop on the carpet and work will still suck!
Accept it! Understand that life isn't a fairy tale, it's just life. It's full of trials and hardships, even for people who never drank a drop in their life.Booze will kill you. You were wise to stop. Now face the fact that as other problems crop up the sober you is much better equipped to deal with them than the drunk you ever was.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,334
Excellent post. I'm just home from being with my daughter this week in the hospital. My mind is sharper without wine. I can't even imagine doing a good job of caring for her, keeping track of all the meds etc , if I was still drinking wine.
Yeah - lots of problems in my life now.....but none alcohol related....and I'm in a good place to handle them.
Yeah - lots of problems in my life now.....but none alcohol related....and I'm in a good place to handle them.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
Great post! I came to this point this week as well and it really, really helped simplify things for me. I think last week I was lumping drinking in with the other stressful things in my mind (namely the illness of my daughter). And I was overwhelming me terribly in terms of my sobriety. But once I separated the drinking apart from everything else it really seemed to help me cope a bit more. Yes, the not drinking and sobriety is very important and deserves mental space in my head right now. But it should not be lumped in with other life issues. The good news and benefit of not drinking is that you will be able to cope
better and think clearer without alcohol. But no, not drinking will not take away certain life issues.
I think knowing and accepting this point is really helpful for those who are struggling with huge life issues that were not "caused" by drinking. (and yes, of course drinking does cause lots of issues too...but not all).
better and think clearer without alcohol. But no, not drinking will not take away certain life issues.
I think knowing and accepting this point is really helpful for those who are struggling with huge life issues that were not "caused" by drinking. (and yes, of course drinking does cause lots of issues too...but not all).
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
One of the stumbling blocks in my early recovery was my own unrealistic expectations of MYSELF.
I had finally realized that life was going to keep on being what it was, but I thought I should be all shiny bright and armed to deal with every situation gracefully.
BAM!
I remember writing on my wall one day "all expectations are unrealistic, including those I have about myself."
it was a real break through for me.
Life happens.
Recovery happens.
I can handle it.
I had finally realized that life was going to keep on being what it was, but I thought I should be all shiny bright and armed to deal with every situation gracefully.
BAM!
I remember writing on my wall one day "all expectations are unrealistic, including those I have about myself."
it was a real break through for me.
Life happens.
Recovery happens.
I can handle it.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
I used to think that because I got sober the world would stop and congratulate me whilst making the journey as easy as possible. Turns out I was wrong. But I know that whatever happens to me now is much easier to deal with than it was before. And that is why sobriety is magic. I also have a new found appreciation of random things like nature, animals, hot meals, a warm duvet and the fact I wake up happy and go to bed happy most nights.
Natom.
Natom.
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