Go Back  SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Reload this Page >

Looking at a dumpster reinforced the fact that I am an alcoholic



Notices

Looking at a dumpster reinforced the fact that I am an alcoholic

Old 12-07-2012, 12:07 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 192
Looking at a dumpster reinforced the fact that I am an alcoholic

I live in a building that has a dumpster outside for the condo owners. The "rules" of the association state that one should break down boxes prior to putting them into the recycling bins. The holiday season is upon us, extra boxes from deliveries are a plenty, and not everyone likes to follow the rules.

As I went to the gym this morning, I was cranky about the fact that our building's dumpster is overflowing with boxes and there are some sitting next to the dumpster. None of them were broken down. Each time I get a box, I follow the rules. In fact, with most things in life, I am a rule follower. I liked going to school as a kid and hated taking days off. I prided myself about being a "good kid".

My one "fatal flaw" is alcohol. It's what I have always said, and what is true. I am a different person when it comes to alcohol and how I drank it. And it didn't matter that the gov't regulations for women is one drink per day. I liked drinking more. I wanted to drink more. And then, I needed to drink more. Given how I am with most things in life, the way I drank really, REALLY enforces that I am indeed an alcoholic. There is no other explanation.

It's nice to know that I am still an alcoholic. I love when my thought process takes me there easily. Earlier this week I had some cranky feelings about sobriety and working AA and the steps and just feeling out of place and overwhelmed with it. I was able to work through those feelings and am back into a place of more peace about my alcoholism, AA and getting where I need to be in my own time. I'm taking it easy, moving foward, and continuing on. Really admitting my powerlessness over alcohol is truly freeing and I am grateful that I finally am "here". In addition, I will work to ensure that I stay here.

This post may not make sense to anyone...but I just wanted to share.

Thanks for letting me.
SavingSelf is offline  
Old 12-07-2012, 12:55 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
MythOfSisyphus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,936
I would get lazy and not always break down my wine boxes when I finished one. Occasionally I'd have a big pile of them built up by the time I got around to breaking them down. Nothing like filling a recycling bin with bottles and boxes to remind me how much I drank!
MythOfSisyphus is offline  
Old 12-07-2012, 03:48 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
I am a bit of a goody two shoes. Always on time, straight A's, obedient, tried to be perfect. I think that's why alcoholics may lose control. I felt like I was getting to be rebellious, blamed my imperfections & mistakes on the drink. I didn't have to take responsibility.
The pressure I put on myself made me collapse.

I think I understand what you mean, now that I am in recovery, I've faced reality that 1. I can't drink & 2. I Don't HAVE to be perfect.
And I'm really good with that.
Purplecatlover is offline  
Old 12-07-2012, 04:33 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
TTBABP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Central New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,345
I wish I could type better because not only does your post make complete sense to me you have helped me immensely with it and I wish I could tell you why. BUt a long day at work and bad typing skills will not allow me that right now so let me just sat Thanks
TTBABP is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:19 AM.