Keeping sobriety number one
 

I was going to the bar and telling myself that its ok to do that. I am doing AVRT and I can handle it. Sobriety is number one for me because I said it. And then preceded to drink.

I would go a few days and declare that sobriety was number one for me. I went 6 days. Then proceeded to get a bottle.

I posted on SR saying how I will not drink on a Friday. Then by Sunday was shaking my head.

All this while sobriety was number one for me.

I have learned a lot since April. Lessons I could not be happier to have learned.

I am excited for yet another weekend. Might go see the tree at Rockefeller center. I used to work there and saw it everyday but the trill is never gone from the smell of chestnuts roasting from the vendors. Or the windows along fifth ave.

Number one means number one now. No bars. No parties where I put friendships over me by feeling obligated in some way to toast whatever's being celebrated. No inserting the season at the top of the list.

I have been asking myself if what I am doing will be a threat to what I want. Not to drink. If even an inkling that it will then I adjust and do something else.

This weekend.... My sobriety is really number one. That's not always easy. Hell it's not. But it's getting easier.

Happy Friday!

K

Great post, just what I needed with the weekend approaching, best wishes and enjoy sober weekend.

The way I always visualize putting sobriety number one is playing Russian roulette. Doing anything that puts my sobriety in danger is like pulling the trigger on a gun that has one bullet in it. No guarantees that I will drink but no guarantees I will not die either.

Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful so I like to play the odds and choose not to put myself in situations where drinking could be an option in my twisted mind.

For sure it is not always easy but death is the alternative. I cannot forget this even for one moment.

Ken-

this is what is meant by putting sobriety first. It doesn't mean you need to stand at the corner and shout it out. It means, if doing X, will I be more likely to drink. Especially in the beginning of sobriety, it is oh so dear to us to stay safe. If that means not seeing a few people for a few months, so be it.
I had to stay away from a sister for a few months in early sobriety. It hurt her, but I had to or I may have drank. Many years later, we're very close and her drinking no longer bothers me.
I'm so happy to hear how well you are doing.

Ken...great post...sober weekend ahead for both of us!

Jim

I was at Rockefeller Center in 2006, saw the Christmas Musical. The Macy's Parade, it was really rainy and windy. The only time I've been there, would love to return, so much to see and do. Have a safe sober weekend April friend, think we both began SR last April.

Sober Jim... Yes. Please let's check in with each other. I want us both to be satisfied with our choices on Monday morning!

Bloss.... I did not see that. Yes we started together! It has been a road hasn't it? I have made a bunch of mistakes and relapses. But I am here and getting it right today!