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Old 12-07-2012, 03:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Need some reassurance


Day 6, feeling a bit confused however.

Myself and my girlfriend don't live together and quite far away, meaning that we can only see each other at weekends. This weekend she's arranged to go to a house part party on Saturday night with her friends. I've told her I've got a problem with my drinking and need to stop and a house party won't be the best for me. She's still going. So told her I won't be coming to see her this weekend. Just having some guilty feelings that I should be going to see her, not doing the right thing etc. Need some encouragement.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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the sun,
Congrats on day 6!! Good for you for not wanting to go to that party and trying to stay sober. Remember people,place,things, going to that party will only tempt you to use. I know you want to spend time with your gf (especially bc of your distant relationship)but a house party with booze isn't the place for ya. She needs to understand that you have a addiction and if you guys are going to be together you both need to make lifestyle changes.
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:28 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I think it's a good idea to stay home. Hopefully you guys can spend some sober time together soon!
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"First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you."

"It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth".

"Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:29 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Congrats sun! let her do her thing....i think she will respect the decision you have made for yourself. and why put yourself in an uncomfortable situation? go with your gut. best wishes!
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Old 12-07-2012, 04:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Good job on the time. She makes choices for what she wants you make choices for what you nee. Your main relationship is with yourself
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:05 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Awesome job on the time sober!!!!!!!!!!

You're doing the right thing, looking out for you. Only you can keep you sober.

I wish you the best of luck, and you should look forward to the great things that come with sobriety.
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Each day of sobriety is better than the last.

Everyday problems teach us to have a realistic attitude.
They teach us that life is what life is; flawed.
Yet with tremendous potential for joy and fulfillment.
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:52 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Many thanks for your responses, enjoy your sober weekends
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Sun, you responded to my post about sobriety being number one. Don't feel guilt for putting yours first. Anything else and you will drink.

Never have guilt for taking care of yourself. If the people around you don't see that then stand strong in your need to do it for you.

There will be thousands of reasons we should do this or that when we know that we may drink. That way of being sober is nothing more than a mine field.

Hope you stick to not going and she sees the strength you have.

K
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:38 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks Weasel
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:49 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Alcohol addiction can kill.

There will be other house parties.

Your sobriety must come before everything.

Without sobriety, I would eventually have nothing.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:51 PM   #11 (permalink)
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thesun - absolutely no reason to feel guilty. Its not like you are blowing her off. You are taking the very difficult step of making changes so that you (and she) will have a better life.
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:56 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks for your helpful posts, it's all so darn obvious when we step back and see the beast for what it is.
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
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At this stage of recovery you shouldn't put yourself in any situations that will cause you to slip. Your responsibility is to yourself right now. In the long run you won't be any good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself. It's a little bit of selfishness in the service of altruism!
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I realized I could probably go on drinking like this for maybe two or three more years, or live for another two or three decades...but not both. Suddenly the choice became crystal clear.
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