My story
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Conroe, Tx
Posts: 8
My story
I'm relatively new to AA, I got my 2 month chip last Thursday. Currently, I'm on my 9th step and have made 8 of my 20 amends. What crazy journey this has been. I apologize for being long winded, but must share.
I am a divorced dad of 3. My divorce is 9 months old, but still very fresh and raw. My marriage was doomed from the get go. I met her at a wedding and we began dating. I always had problems with self esteem and she had issues as a codependent/enabler. Her father was the biggest drunk in town in fact. In college we drank alot. I can't remember a time when we weren't intoxicated blabbering idiots. My junior year of college brought some horrible news...my brother was killed. Instead of dealing with the loss, grew into deep depressive drinking. She courageously stuck with me and my best thinking led us to marriage. We had dreams together, to build a life of happiness, love, trust and family. Entering the professional world, after graduation, worked as a landscape designer, and like many drunks, I managed to lose that one. In fact, employment was a big issue for me, I lost 3 jobs in 9 months. Our drinking was still going strong. I did however catch a break when I was asked by the kindness of her father to come work for him at his law firm. Things went well, we bought our first house through a loan set up by her father. Do you see a pattern beginning to take shape? CAN YOU SAY ENABLING? Our love was at the peak of our marriage. We were so happy. I was doing well for the company and on Friday we would drink until our hearts were content. My drinking began to get worse, after a case of miller lite, between the of us, my night was just beginning. She would go to bed and I'd make a trip to the quik stop to get a sixer of specialty beer to finish off the night.
I got my first taste of the law 3 years into the marriage and then my ex became my mother and began to take care of her sick alcoholic.
This pattern was the norm for 10 years numbing each other to tolerate each other. During the last years of our marriage I became a borderline diabetic with high liver enzymes. I became depressed and verbally abusive. She told me in fact that she checked out of the marriage 5 years ago, and kept drinking to make me more tolerable.
Keep in mind we were raising 3 kids. These beautiful gifts from God became secondary to our binging. She wasn't as bad, but that's not for me to judge.
So one day a get a letter on my pillow that read, I'm going to see a high school friend and bring him dinner. She ended up having an affair that night and couldn't even look me in the eye. So we confronted each other after a Friday binge and began to fight. She crawled to bed and stayed up drinking in misery. I finally crawled to bed myself and had a physical confrontation with her and blacked out. The next Monday she filed for divorce leaving me homeless with very little cash, equity from the house and pots and pans. I have been going to a day hospital for depression and alcoholism. I have really grown in alot of ways.
I can't say I miss her, because I honestly love sobriety, but I miss being a daddy. My ex is dating now and claims that "life is good and the guy has lots of money and will replace me as their daddy". I'm currently unemployed and learning a lesson in humility. I live in a sober house for business professionals, which isn't bad. I yearn for the day I can have a job and maybe a house so I can be a good father and maybe a good husband. I'm grateful for my sobriety and wouldn't change a thing.
I am a divorced dad of 3. My divorce is 9 months old, but still very fresh and raw. My marriage was doomed from the get go. I met her at a wedding and we began dating. I always had problems with self esteem and she had issues as a codependent/enabler. Her father was the biggest drunk in town in fact. In college we drank alot. I can't remember a time when we weren't intoxicated blabbering idiots. My junior year of college brought some horrible news...my brother was killed. Instead of dealing with the loss, grew into deep depressive drinking. She courageously stuck with me and my best thinking led us to marriage. We had dreams together, to build a life of happiness, love, trust and family. Entering the professional world, after graduation, worked as a landscape designer, and like many drunks, I managed to lose that one. In fact, employment was a big issue for me, I lost 3 jobs in 9 months. Our drinking was still going strong. I did however catch a break when I was asked by the kindness of her father to come work for him at his law firm. Things went well, we bought our first house through a loan set up by her father. Do you see a pattern beginning to take shape? CAN YOU SAY ENABLING? Our love was at the peak of our marriage. We were so happy. I was doing well for the company and on Friday we would drink until our hearts were content. My drinking began to get worse, after a case of miller lite, between the of us, my night was just beginning. She would go to bed and I'd make a trip to the quik stop to get a sixer of specialty beer to finish off the night.
I got my first taste of the law 3 years into the marriage and then my ex became my mother and began to take care of her sick alcoholic.
This pattern was the norm for 10 years numbing each other to tolerate each other. During the last years of our marriage I became a borderline diabetic with high liver enzymes. I became depressed and verbally abusive. She told me in fact that she checked out of the marriage 5 years ago, and kept drinking to make me more tolerable.
Keep in mind we were raising 3 kids. These beautiful gifts from God became secondary to our binging. She wasn't as bad, but that's not for me to judge.
So one day a get a letter on my pillow that read, I'm going to see a high school friend and bring him dinner. She ended up having an affair that night and couldn't even look me in the eye. So we confronted each other after a Friday binge and began to fight. She crawled to bed and stayed up drinking in misery. I finally crawled to bed myself and had a physical confrontation with her and blacked out. The next Monday she filed for divorce leaving me homeless with very little cash, equity from the house and pots and pans. I have been going to a day hospital for depression and alcoholism. I have really grown in alot of ways.
I can't say I miss her, because I honestly love sobriety, but I miss being a daddy. My ex is dating now and claims that "life is good and the guy has lots of money and will replace me as their daddy". I'm currently unemployed and learning a lesson in humility. I live in a sober house for business professionals, which isn't bad. I yearn for the day I can have a job and maybe a house so I can be a good father and maybe a good husband. I'm grateful for my sobriety and wouldn't change a thing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Calgary Alberta
Posts: 38
I'm new here too,but my adiction is um,42 years stoned ,but not in the last ten days.I'm kinda still screwed up . I was sending you a word of encouragement but now dont know what to say. I'll just say keep up the good efforts . The biggest thing you have done in your life is to decide to quit drinking . Everything else will be based on that decision. The whole rest of your life is ahead of you . Keep up the good fight.
Neil
Neil
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Conroe, Tx
Posts: 8
Thanks Delilah, it hurts so bad not to be able to keep them and read bedtime stories to them and maybe wipe a tear or two. She emasculates me at every turn. Almost as if my net worth is what makes me a man. It brings me down is all. I want to give my kids things and it makes me feel good when I'm able to do it. If I could become a male escort to give my kids things I would. I just feel all alone. I yearn to see them and feel so useless because I have no place to keep them. those kids deserve so much more and it will be a living amends to them for me to be the best man I can possibly be. I can't wait for that day when I finally be a man, have a job, and be an asset to society. I take comfort in the verse
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Conroe, Tx
Posts: 8
12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
I like it too. Trusting God is such a cool concept. No matter what, I know he has my back. Even when I hit my low and had that ahaa moment... He always had me.
I like it too. Trusting God is such a cool concept. No matter what, I know he has my back. Even when I hit my low and had that ahaa moment... He always had me.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Phoenix; I bet all the material goods in the world will be nothing to your kids compared to having their Dad back; and from your post you have been absent for a long time.
You can't change the past, but you can work steadily on repairing your relationship with your children and your wife (even if she becomes your ex-wife). If you can stick with sobriety you will be setting the best example you can, and who knows, you wife may be inspired to do the same. There's going to be a lot of anger around, but I hope you succeed. If you need any further inspiration, your continued sobriety can only help when access and custody are decided.
You can't change the past, but you can work steadily on repairing your relationship with your children and your wife (even if she becomes your ex-wife). If you can stick with sobriety you will be setting the best example you can, and who knows, you wife may be inspired to do the same. There's going to be a lot of anger around, but I hope you succeed. If you need any further inspiration, your continued sobriety can only help when access and custody are decided.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...er-2012-a.html
Here you go xcaret its on the main Newcomers to Recovery page.
Here you go xcaret its on the main Newcomers to Recovery page.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1
Drug & Alcohol Rehabilitation Treatment Abroad | Rehab Center Peru
Rehab Center Peru
Rehab Center Peru provides cost-effective, quality rehabilitation treatment to individuals and their families living in the United States and abroad. The International Rehabilitation and Addiction Treatment Center is located in a peaceful orchard just outside of the capital which is Lima, Peru and is run by a full staff of trained medical professionals. Rehab Center Peru understands that there are many benefits for individuals with addictions to seek treatment in Peru including the following:
1. Full Treatment Including detoxification, personal and group therapy, spiritual therapy, family involvement, reinsertion and follow-up.
2. Low Cost -- $800 per month (about 5-20 times less than the average cost for Rehabilitation Center treatment in the United States)
3. Reduction of triggers The new environment is absent of many triggers, giving a distinct advantage, especially in the early stages of recovery.
4. Positive focus Traveling to a new country and introduction to a new and unique culture offers a positive distraction from the addiction(s)
5. Education The opportunity to gain additional education such as Spanish language training and immersion and welding, adding useful life tools for additional success upon returning.
Location of Rehabilitation Centers
United States Abroad Rehab Center Peru
Cost (per month) $6,000-$20,000 $3,000-$19,000 $800
The chart above shows Rehab Center Peru's pricing compared to some of the alternatives.
For more information regarding the treatment center, please visit rehabcenterperu .com or call us at 1-866-284-8266 now! You may also send us an email at info@rehabcenterperu .com.
Thank you and we hope to be hearing from you shortly!
Rehab Center Peru provides cost-effective, quality rehabilitation treatment to individuals and their families living in the United States and abroad. The International Rehabilitation and Addiction Treatment Center is located in a peaceful orchard just outside of the capital which is Lima, Peru and is run by a full staff of trained medical professionals. Rehab Center Peru understands that there are many benefits for individuals with addictions to seek treatment in Peru including the following:
1. Full Treatment Including detoxification, personal and group therapy, spiritual therapy, family involvement, reinsertion and follow-up.
2. Low Cost -- $800 per month (about 5-20 times less than the average cost for Rehabilitation Center treatment in the United States)
3. Reduction of triggers The new environment is absent of many triggers, giving a distinct advantage, especially in the early stages of recovery.
4. Positive focus Traveling to a new country and introduction to a new and unique culture offers a positive distraction from the addiction(s)
5. Education The opportunity to gain additional education such as Spanish language training and immersion and welding, adding useful life tools for additional success upon returning.
Location of Rehabilitation Centers
United States Abroad Rehab Center Peru
Cost (per month) $6,000-$20,000 $3,000-$19,000 $800
The chart above shows Rehab Center Peru's pricing compared to some of the alternatives.
For more information regarding the treatment center, please visit rehabcenterperu .com or call us at 1-866-284-8266 now! You may also send us an email at info@rehabcenterperu .com.
Thank you and we hope to be hearing from you shortly!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
