Bad time of year :(
 

Its the holidays..my husband will be gone 2 years on the 23rd. I do not grieve gracefully. My life has changed so much, I still have my kids in my life but other than them I have no family to speak of. God has a plan for me I know. I hope being sober is worth it, because I was a happy drunk...and now find it hard to smile most days...sigh! Vent over thanks for listening. Bah humbug I say!

You have a whole family here on SR Lola!! I love you!!! :)

Your sober sister. :)

Thank you Delilah dear...I love you too my sober little sister!

So sorry for your loss lilgolden :ghug3

It must be really tough but as we all know, alcohol is a depressant and NOTHING good will come from that.

You have an extremely large family here.

(((Lola)))

D

I am glad you posted.
Will be thinking of you during this challenging time.

I'm so sorry for your loss. The holidays are especially hard times in this regard. This will be the second Xmas since my dad passed away and I'm thinking of him all the time (he liked Xmas a lot).

Being sober will also be more challenging than normal, probably because it's hard to feel normal while part of your heart is missing. Ultimately I tell myself it's just another day, that I will get through it, and that getting drunk won't bring anyone back or change things for the better. As my dad lay dying in the hospital I bent over him and whispered that I'd make him proud of me. Being sober is part of that.

Wise words Myth! I have very weak moments. I lost my grandparents who raised me and my husband, all within 2.5 years. I want to make them all proud as well. When my gma was dying I told her I was going back to school to get my masters, that was almost 3 years ago, now that I am sober, it's time to make good on all the promises I made. Thanks everyone for your support.

We are your family. When I was estranged from my family (I still am really, they are all a mess and so am I lately) I came here and went to meetings and I found a new "recovery family" to call my own... Truly these are people I consider lifelong friends who are there for me no matter what and I'm there for them too.

Just by coming here and opening up you've done the right thing. You don't have to like the holidays; I don't like Christmas much because it's hard for me to feel comfortable around a the food and alcohol, but I know that coming here will help.

Good post. Thank you!

Thanks! I try to hang out here as much as I can, I am crazy busy these days. I want some good days, or at least one good day...sigh

Lilgolden, Try AA you will like. You can be happy again and sober. Make the plunge :)

Loss is so difficult sometimes you think you will never recover from it. But eventually things get better. They will never be the same but they do get better. I am sure your kids want you to be happy and healthy. I will send you the best of thoughts during the holidays

Thanks! AA is always an option and I am a spiritual person. Things will never be the same...ever :(