Feel so embarrassed after last time.
 

Don't feel I have alot of strength left to fight the embarrasment of last Friday.
I hate that feeling of shame and am finding it hard to move on from it,
I fell scared to leave the house incase I see anyone who saw me,why do I have to get soooo pissed......:

Hi ohnonotagain - I'm sure there is not too many amongst us who hasn't had that feeling - in my opinion the worst feeling in the world - hide in fear and shame. WEll today you can make a decision to never have that happen to you again. I felt like you on July 31 after I had quite the evening - hoping neighbours didn't see me too!!!

Look we have an ego that feeds on fear and shame. But we also have another part of us that is not only longing for peace and love but IS peace and love. We all have a higher self that is virtuous. You can decide this day who you shall serve.

Rise up from your ashes ohno - grab hold of this new day and hold your head up and do what you need to do to get yourself back on track. Can you make it to some meetings? You'll find such commonality there - and a place you can share yourself and get support.

Good luck to you today

God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can and
wisdom to know the difference

It hurts. The pain and shame will settle in time. There is a way out and it is worth fighting for

fear and guilt and shame were my partners for such along time.
they were oppressive and so heavy to carry.
i hated myself sooo much.
but then after the fog cleared i kidded them outta my house and told them never to come back.
they are outside waiting for me I know so i must keep on my toes.
there are so many other supportive friends out there that wont hurt you

I used to get so pi$$ed 'cause I'm an alcoholic and inclined to get drunk.

I surrendered to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and haven't found it necessary to drink since then.

All the best.

Bob R

Unfortunately your best friend will bring you more of the same until you decide once and for all that the friendship is at it's end

Have felt the same way on many occasions. Felt the same way about how I acted last Friday. I have made a vow to myself that it will not happen again this Friday - beyond that I am taking it a moment at a time. Remember how you feel and do whatever you need to to not have to feel this way again.

You are not alone. I have been there too. You can easily distance yourself from what happened by not picking up the bottle again.

do you wanna talk about what happened last friday.
get it out of your system and move on.
we all have those nites where we regret.
many many nites.
but once you get them out int he light they arent as bad as your mind makes them

make a plan so it doesnt happen gain.
start right now.
where else can you be, how about a meeting.
who can you call

We've all been there. One of the major things that I've learned with sobriety is that you must forgive yourself and move on. Guilt, shame and regret will only eat you up inside and most likely lead you back to the bottle.

That's why I had to let it go, ohno. I had so many of those terrible times - it was exhausting. Every time I drank it led me into danger and an unpredictable outcome. It was no longer fun or relaxing to drink - all it brought me was misery and shame.

Once you stop, you never have to go back to that awful place. You will rise above the things that have happened - a new life will replace that sad one. Glad you are talking about it here - hope it helps your anxiety.

ohno, so glad you're here. come back tomorrow and tell us how you're doing, then come back the next day after that. we're here for you.

hi ohnonotagain

shame embarrassment and regret can be overcome - it just needs a little time and a little living right....and no more booze.

I used to be the neighbourhood drunk - but noone remembers me that way now...
It'll be the same for you too.

put one foot in front of the other and soon there'll be clear distance between the you you used to be and the you you want to be :)

welcome :)

D

I definitely have many memories from my past, especially before marriage that make me cringe, but they are in my past and I am trying really hard to focus on the present.

The good thing is Friday is over, and tomorrow is a brand new Friday!!

Yes, post it here if it helps.
I've been there, I've been paranoid about who saw me in such a condition....I've "what-if'd" myself to death nearly - panic attacks expecting a coworker to surprise me with one of those "wow, how are you feeling, do you remember seeing me?" stories...thankfully the paranoia was usually unwarranted and the people who did see me so wasted have hopefully banished me from their brains....

I still thank my higher power for the lovely lady at the pizza shop downstairs who I saw one night when I was bombed. She was outside for a smoke after her shift, and I joined her, glommed on to her as if we were long-lost friends (I had only just met her), and I convinced her to come to a bar with me and do a shot of liquor. I paid for it and she didn't stay much longer. I don't know for sure but she is younger than me and I got the feeling that she was not much of a drinker, certainly not one like me. I saw her a few weeks later at the pizza shop and bashfully said hello, she said, do you remember much about that night and I awkwardly said no I didn't and turned red and embarrassed. She kindly said, "oh I don't either, I was so tired from my day..." she made this embarrassed gal feel like she was not alone....man what a sweet thing for her to say. I totally didn't communicate my appreciation for her kindness but very fondly greet her now when I see her. Several times it has really struck me how nice that was of her to say, she easily could have joked with me about it and had me feeling worse...

I'm almost 60 days sober now. Tell us your story if you feel like it, likely that we've all done something just like it or even worse. And quit yer drinking, you will not regret it.

As you move through true sobriety, it really does get better. I still feel shame and guilt over my last couple of debacles, but it isn't incapacitating and I don't feel the need to drink to not feel it anymore. It has taken a lot of work. I still have amends to make. However, it has gotten easier to look at the woman in the mirror. She isn't so bad sober. In fact, I kinda like her. She isn't the neighborhood lush any longer and doesn't have to make up lies or hide from others' for fear of having to face judgement. One day, the weight won't be so heavy.

I had a very bad drunk last week. So I know how you fEel

Thanks so much all,it really helps to be honest with someone.
Today may be tough ,I don't have to be at work till 11 am tomorrow,and often use that as a reason to drink,but this has given me some strength,it would be great to have no more hangovers,vomiting and cringing.
Can't imagine doing things without it though,.......