Patsy22

I lived with this man for 8 years and put up with his frequent binges and often violent behaviour. When sober he was a lovely person. When he was diagnosed with liver failure in late summer I visited him every day in hospital. In early October he discharged himself and went to stay with his parents. He became more ill and is in hospital now the other side of the country. He doesn't try to make contact with me and his family are behaving as though everything between us is over. I miss him desperately, worry about him and feel powerless. What should I do?

Thepatman

I'm sorry for what you are going trough. Alcohol is a terrible addiction. It often keeps it's victims in a permanent state of denial. The ones tha wake up such as myself often need something really bad to happen to open their eyes, from health to finances or. Roken relationships. There is a secion here, called friends and familly, they have a perspective from the other side of the fence.

Coming from an Alcoholic, only him can wake up. Have you tought of taking this opportunaty to work on yourself? Maybe, even if it hurts like hell the solution is to let him sort his things out and put all the energy on you.

Take care and be kind to yourself

Patsy22

Thanks, I haven't given up on him yet and hope that one day he will realise he has made a mistake. I know I can't count on that as I nearly died from something else myself several years ago and I know it can make you see things differently. Just feel so rejected. Taking the time to regain my life and sort my home out that he has trashed.

ACT10Npack

Sorry about your man having liver disease from binge drinking. That's what I'm scared of from myself. Let him get sometime to find out what he wants to do. If he really want to be with you then he will come back.

Patsy22

Well done for lasting this long and hang on in there. Thinking of you. Suppose the old saying is right, if you love them let them go.

KissMyTiara

Patsy, what I read in your post is that he is quite ill. You are not married to him and it sounds like he has decided to break ties, as painful as that may be. Is it possible or perhaps probable he may be dying and he doesn't want you to see him like that? He may be drinking and has just given up on everything. I'm so sorry for your situation.

Patsy22

He hasn't drunk since August as he has been in hospital and I think that if he makes it he will stay sober as he's had such a bad time and is a stubborn g*t. I don't know if he is pushing me away for my own sake but I think he is just focussing on himself.

DaisyRose

I saw my Dad die from liver failure. It makes a person feel so bad and so weak that they can't get out of bed. It may be likely that he is just too sick to talk to anyone. Also consider that high ammonia levels from the liver not working will cause encephalopathy of the brain, causing a person to be very confused and lethargic. He may not be forgetting you, just very sick. I know it hurts, my thoughts are with you.

Daisy

Patsy22

I know that he is very sick but he manages to talk to other people. His mother doesn't like me and is stopping me from seeing him and as he is so far away I can't really find out how he is. I hope that he pulls through as he has been in hospital since summer but I dread the phone call that tells me he's gone. I just didn't want to waste any time we had left together.

DaisyRose

I understand that you don't want to have any regrets. Since he's able to talk, can you phone the hospital to speak with him. It sounds like you need closure, even though it'll hurt maybe closure will help you move forward.

Daisy

Patsy22

His mother has put herself as next of kin and has told the hospital not to put me through

DaisyRose

Patsy, it sounds like it's time to let this go. You have done all you can do. I don't want to be too blunt, but it sounds like it's over.

******{HUGS}}}}

Patsy22

Think you are right, just difficult to accept. To further confuse have just opened a Christmas card from his mother - with kisses on it!

DaisyRose

Patsy, you know what you need to do. It'll hurt for awhile, but moving on will bring you new happiness before you know it, it just takes a time, you still have great things in your future. Hugs **{Patsy}}