Consciousliving

Thanks DG! That is really something I'm going to have to work on, keeping it simple in the here and now. I love that feeling when I'm with my son. He even gets me to notice the cool little details of life...and all of that just seems to vanish when he is gone and drinking has been filling that void. This is going to be a tough week, but I have to do it. I don't want this version of my life anymore.

gonzo4419

There are other things than AA and or AA type programs, but if it even worked a little for you last time no matter how long ago then I'd say give that another try first, it doesnt matter how or why, the goal is the same for all of us. I have been looking heavily into AVRT concept since I found this place, as a binge drinker it has hit home on many levels. Finally looking at many situations in a more physiological way, which just for me personally is more in line with my thinking than with the spiritual aspect.

Maybe take this next time without him to think and or google something special you might do with your son next time that you wouldn/t/won't do if you blow this week drinking instead?

Jitterbugg

I was in a binge cycle for years until I just drank all the time. I spent a year drinking alone on my couch completely isolated. The only time my binges ended is when i ran out of money or spent a night in jail. It is such a miserable existence.

FeelingGreat

Hi CL, reading through your posts I can see how much you want this for yourself and your son. I wasn't a binge drinker; slow and steady was my way. But in common with you, once I was determined and motivated I never looked back. Apart from the focus on your son, your will become addicted to the feeling of having come through each cycle sober. The morning after a night of sobriety is the BEST feeling in the world.
Don't stop posting; I will look out to see how you're going.

Consciousliving

Thank you FG! I feel great this morning, with my son. I look forward to, and am nervous about, tomorrow morning as it will be the first in a loooong time where I will be choosing something different, sobriety.

Delilah1

Hi Conscious Living,

Just catching up on how you are doing, and your posts sound like you are determined to do this for you and your son.

My kiddos are the biggest reason that I stopped drinking too.

Keep posting on here this week, you will have lots of support. Enjoy your morning with your son.

2granddaughters

If you were with the right group, and had a good sponsor, I'm sure you would have heard that it's a daily reprieve... we're never cured.

Get back to the meetings and get tight with the oldtimers. They will tell you all the things you don't want to hear but they will save your life.

All the best.

Bob R

Consciousliving

Hi Bob,
Funny you say 'old timers' as the group I finally settled with (after about 5 other groups) were all old timers (to me, I was 34). It was the smallest of the groups I'd joined, 5-6 people, and the youngest was maybe 60? We had an 89 yr old who had amazing stories and words of support. I felt very comfortable with them. Yes, they constantly reminded me it was a 'one foot in front of the other' strategy, but I was too naive to truly believe in that. I was young and cured after 30 days...and I was wrong.

Didn't get to my first meeting tonight as planned, but I did have a great time cutting down a Christmas tree with my son and ex, putting it up and going out to dinner with them before he left. It just got too late. So here I am...and I didn't go to the liquor store when they left I took a walk around the neighborhood and looked at all the Christmas decorations. Looking fwd to sleeping better tonight and a hike with someone who has graciously agreed to support me tomorrow morning.

JungleGirl

Well done not going to the liquor store it's much nicer looking at christmas decorations! Keep up the good work, try to stay busy as much as you can, good luck

Consciousliving

I had a very good day today with no drinking. Got a lot of stuff done I needed to do, ate well and took a long walk. I actually said hello to a few people instead of avoiding eye contact. It felt really good. I had a strange experience during the walk, I felt manic at times??? Based on my binge cycle, today would have been a heavy drinking day, all day. Is this my body chemistry rebounding? Whatever it was, it was way better than anxiety and depression. At one point I thought of myself as I would have been today if I had caved and drank. I had a quick flash of anger at that version of me and hated him. I actually said a few choice words out loud, couldn't help it. It didn't feel like I was beating myself up though, but I calmed down and moved on to observing the world around me. It was a beautiful day.

Thank you for all of your support. I don't expect everyday to be like today, but it was a really nice change.

pooky

So glad you made it through the day CL..Keep reading and posting.I and a lot of others are on this site a lot..keeps the boredom at bay and is good to be with others that understand.

Junebugapril

Hi Conscious! I am so happy to see you here. Just posting here and seeing what everyone is going through has been tremendously helpful for me. We're all kind of in the same boat here.
I managed to stop drinking three weeks ago, and I could not have done it without the support I have gotten here.

Welcome!!!
JunebugApril

debsam

Just jumping in here CL to say welcome and let you know I'm cheering you on.

I found SR five months in to my recovery and it was like a Godsend...and it still is at almost 21 months sober.

You can do this CL....you're taking ACTION and that is crucial to living the life you want to live...good job at "moving" yourself

((Big Hugs))

Consciousliving

Thank you for you support pooky, June and deb! It means a lot to me!!!

Just got back from my first AA meeting in 10 years! It was a great group (of 4!) and I've got 3 phone numbers to call now