jstar

this is frickin hard! 34 days today & yes i am totally grateful for that...but dang my anxiety is through the roof & i just wanna scream or cry or sleep for a week...anything but "feel" emotions....

i had been thinking about it & for years i just numbed myself with alcohol. every thought, feeling...good or bad...i drowned with vodka. then i started my path of recovery & was prescribed xanax...which continued to keep me numb without me even realizing it until i relapsed what a huge effect the alcohol & the xanax had on my feelings & emotions...it masked everything - i think i was just as addicted to the xanax as i was the alcohol. i've been sober from both for 34 days and i feel so raw...

i hope it gets better than this....

MidnightBlue

Hi, Jstar.

First, congrats on 34 days - great job!

It really gets better, but I think it's a part of recovery - to feel emotions, accept them, deal with them.

Don't be too hard on yourself - cry when you need it, it helps.

Take care and have a good day)

instant

Benzodiazepines are cross tolerant with alcohol and can be a bugger to get off. They are addictive.

See the TRANX website for more details.

jstar

the withdrawals from the benzos were horrible...i wouldn't wish it on anyone. it took me over 2 weeks to feel somewhat normal again. after i overdosed on the alcohol & xanax when i relapsed - my sponsor told my husband to dump all the meds down the toilet. cold turkey sucked & i would not recommend that. i probably should have gone to detox for the xanax but i didn't realize it was that bad until i looked back on how i felt.

Drugssucks

Jstar, I'm detoxing off Xanax and alcohol now as well, day 4. It's horrible. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. Waiting, 30 more min. until doc. opens.

upandup

Jstar et al, not much to add bust wanted to wish you the best of luck in detoxing. I believe I read that Xanax can increase alcohol cravings. Glad to hear you're seeing a doctor ds, are you seeing one Jstar?

jstar

thanks i've seen a dr twice and am seeing a therapist, outpatient counselor and a psychiatrist ...it's helping but its just a rough go.

if you are going through this too...be kind to yourself. that's the best advice I was given. it is easier now than it was the first few weeks...so there is hope

jstar

be kind to yourself & just know it will get better so long as you stay off both.

good luck with your dr. be as honest as you can with him/her so they can help you

2granddaughters

jstar, are you going to AA/NA meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

TTBABP

jstar - is it just a general feeling of anxiety or are there specific things that you are worried about?

jstar

oh yes!! been going to a meeting every day

2granddaughters

What does your sponsor say about your condition?

All the best.

Bob R

jstar

I'd say its general....encompassing everything that is/should be normal. my emotions feel like they're on over-drive...i'm sure hoping it passes with time but I haven't been sober like this in a really long time so it's hard to guess what my baseline of emotions & anxiety is.