hello, from long time lurker
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 569
hello, from long time lurker
As the title states I have been lurking on this forum off and on for almost a year now. Was going to join, than didnt, wanted to get a few weeks under my belt so that I wouldnt look like a quitter when I went back to my wine. Well that didnt happen, and wasnt going to. I would easily down a bottle a night, (thats what I had hid), plus the wine i would drink over dinner with my husband on week ends. I would buy the wine and a water bottle, pour the water out, replace with wine, dump the bottle. the weekend would come and i would worry if i had enough to last, many here I am sure Know this story. I knew I had to quite my BP is sky high, stomach issues, heart rate up and down, freaking out that if my hubby was home he would find my stash, again if he was going to use my car that I had left a store receipt laying around, or a bottle I had forgotten to toss. Anyway I hadnt been to a Dr. in multiple years, I was going to go after i went a few weeks without drinking so that my liver enzymes wouldnt give me away, that didnt happen either. Last week I developed a nasty ear infection that sent me to urgent care, well first thing they noticed was bp 180/120, did the ekg, heart is okay, they took bp again it went to 160/106. Any way I know that my drinking is 3/4 the issue. I have now been 8 days without alchohol and I really feel that now is the time I have seen myself in the mirror and the reflection said stop. I am terrified of dying and here I am killing myself. I know this is a long post and i am sorry for that, just couldnt stop typing. Will join the Dec. group (if its not to late) and thank you everyone for this wonderful forum!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 200
Dont apologize for talking! That's what this is for. Congratulations on your over a week sober! This is wonderful.
I too was the same way, terrified of dying but slowly killing myself. Crazy what alcohol can do to our minds. It's a disgusting terrible thing. One day at a time and all that jazz. You can do this
Things will start getting much better.
Keep up the posting! This site is wonderful for support. Lots of love and good people here. We'll love you until you can love yourself and then even after that!!
:ghug3
I too was the same way, terrified of dying but slowly killing myself. Crazy what alcohol can do to our minds. It's a disgusting terrible thing. One day at a time and all that jazz. You can do this
Things will start getting much better.Keep up the posting! This site is wonderful for support. Lots of love and good people here. We'll love you until you can love yourself and then even after that!!
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 649
Welcome to SR Tazzle and please join us in the December Club.
I know exactly where you're coming from and by sticking with us here, you'll find tons of support where we all share the same story.
Congrats on the 8 days! That's quite an accomplishment!!
Every day you'll feel better and better about yourself.
I know exactly where you're coming from and by sticking with us here, you'll find tons of support where we all share the same story.
Congrats on the 8 days! That's quite an accomplishment!!
Every day you'll feel better and better about yourself.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Welcome to SR, Tazzle. I relate to your story, I used to cancel medical appointments due to hangovers, my BP was sky high too. Anyway, I joined SR last April and it has been very helpful. Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Hi Tazzle...great introduction. Welcome....Lots of support and understanding here on SR. Besides the Dec group you may aslo want to consider the under 30 days group as well.
Welcome and keep posting.
Jim
Welcome and keep posting.
Jim
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 611
Tazzle,
8 days is huge! Good for you! I think you will find a lot of support from caring, kind people here. There's a number of posters that have long term sobriety as well - that's where I want to be someday. I want to quit for good you know? Because it kind of keeps getting worse the longer I continue to drink and use drugs... Worse and worse. In sobriety things go the opposite direction - its just hard to adjust at first. Keep coming around and keep up the good work!
8 days is huge! Good for you! I think you will find a lot of support from caring, kind people here. There's a number of posters that have long term sobriety as well - that's where I want to be someday. I want to quit for good you know? Because it kind of keeps getting worse the longer I continue to drink and use drugs... Worse and worse. In sobriety things go the opposite direction - its just hard to adjust at first. Keep coming around and keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: 4th Dimension of existance
Posts: 175
Welcome, Tazzle! I saw so much of myself in your post. The fear of a reciept being found, or much worse, the stash! Congrats on 8 days! That is a huge accomplishment. Every moment is a great accomplishment! Glad you came out of the shadows!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
You're doing great, Tazzle. We're so happy to have you here. I think it's good to write out your feelings - it helps take away some of the anxiety. Things will get a bit better every day - you're going to do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 472
Tazzle, I'm 3 days sober and like you I know that the alcohol is slowly killing me. I too have stomach problems. Alcoholism is so insidious it just creeps up until the stage when we are addicted. I too am determined this time to quit, so for every day sober we are doing are body some good.
Fantastic that you are on Day 8 and now confident to post here and say that you are sober. Well done!
Fantastic that you are on Day 8 and now confident to post here and say that you are sober. Well done!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Welcome Tazzle, I'm glad you decided to post. I could relate to many things you wrote. Keep reading and posting, there's alot of great support and advice here from people who understand. Great job on 8 days.
You'll find that life's a lot simpler without drinking.
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