Weasel1966

My currency in life has always been relationships.

In that wealth for me was by the richness of conversation. The value of sharing. The joys of giving.

I have a memory that carries with it an emotion that's now the watermark of my addictions.

A motivator.

Standing on my back deck of a beautiful home I used to own hanging with friends. There was three drug friends and another who came over later. At this point I had no idea to what level things had risen to. The use. The drinking.

The look on my friends face. His observance of my every move and that of everyone else.

This is a guy who was a hard core user. And even he stopped and paused.

I sensed it. Deep. I saw it. I knew it. I could do nothing to help or change the facts. They were clear in front of me. I seemed to sober for a few moments to a surreal place. Things seemed brighter and more vivid. No that was not the drugs.

It was a drastic realization of what I had become. And still I was helpless.

I don't have this friend any longer. He moved down south. Finished med school. And has a new partner and life.

I just want to have close friends again. I don't have any at this moment. Just my partner and that's not enough. I want to be rich again.

It's not easy as we age to meet new people without a little effort to put ourselves in situations. With bars out of the mix I feel rather lost. Not lost enough to reclaim them but lost enough to try and figure out what I can do and where I can go.

So I have gone to the community center recently to see what I can do.

Considered a bowling league but the seasons are so darn long.

Taking a class in January.

And even events .com for interesting things to do.

SR has added to my "social" life. Lol

I will always remember the moment when I lost a close friend.

Recognize why and never let that happen again.

It will be my reversal of fortune.

Weasel1966

Just missing friends that I wish I still had. This time of year makes me think of them.

But since being on this new path it will happen. Just live life and you are bound to meet people you can relate to. And none that drink!

TTBABP

Funny Weasel - I have friends but my depression and drinking has made me distance myself from them so I feel like we just are not close anymore - my own fault. I feel like you in that I wish I had the same relationship with the friends I do have. Don't think it will ever get back to where it was. I wish you a new good friend for the New Year (I wish myself the same too)

oakwood

It's good to hear you recognize the need for friends and more social interactions, and that you are making plans to fill that need.

Over the years I lost friends, too. The last few years I have really isolated myself with my drinking and, I suppose, the related depression that comes with it. I just really didn't care to develop new relationships or work particularly hard to maintain the ones I had. For the most part I'm ok with losing some of the old friends; they were fair-weather friends, anyway. But, as an introvert, I know that I'm most satisfied with several deep, one-on-one relationships rather than many acquaintances. It's those close relationships that I need to find and build. And you're right, it does definitely get harder as we get older.

I'm looking for ways to expand my social network, too. Just to have a conversation with someone helps me get out of my own head. Volunteering somewhere is good, plus there is great satisfaction in helping others.

Have you looked into Meetup.com? You can meet people from your area that have similar interests as you. You just show up at a meeting and get to know other like-minded individuals. Although I haven't actually done it, yet, it seems like a good idea.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. I just wanted to let you know I understand what you're saying. I wish you the best going forward.

RobbyRobot

Awesome, Ken.

That's how to rock it, lol.

Inspirational.

Weasel1966

TTBABP .... Sorry to hear that. I a, coming out of a deep depression. It feels better. I miss people and being around them. Bars were always where I met people. Since I was a teen. I snuck into bars early in life. Being gay all meetings were around bars. There were far far less resources outside bars as I grew up. So I am releasing. Happily relearning but it comes with some pains.

SR is wonderful in that I have found many like minded people that are really kind.

Oakwood .... I can be very outgoing. the leader in a group... And not. I t depends.

I just think back on this friend and that moment when I knew.... Things were done. Never want to let that happen again.

I am not a needy person so I can have just one or two close friends and that's enough. I have two close friends for 25 years. They live in other states so its not easy. But we can start talking rig where we left off and have fun.

I want to meet local buddies I can hang with. With not going out I need to have social interactions or I go nuts.

Ken

Saliena

Have you considered NA or AA? Honestly the friends I have mad in the rooms carry over into my real life. I eat with these people.. have interactions with these people, they are my social network.