Reaching out. I really need support NOW!
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Day 1 (last one ever) down! I searched meetings in the area and I am going to one tonight at 4. I learned I need to surround myself with sober people....and ask for help when I need it! And to think that drink through...it NEVER ends up good! Thanks again for all the support yesterday. I needed that. Time to get back on track and stay there 
Have a good, sober, happy day all!
Have a good, sober, happy day all!
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Hey there.
Just thought I would bump this thread up for ya. So you could re read it. And remember where you were last week...
Remember to look at the past, just dont stare..
Good love, Inda
Just thought I would bump this thread up for ya. So you could re read it. And remember where you were last week...
Remember to look at the past, just dont stare..
Good love, Inda
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Hi Stepping,
I am in the same place as you right now. I relapsed last week after 8 months sober. Started with a beer after work...4 days of complete insanity followed. We can't let our guard down like that anymore. Let's try again!
I am in the same place as you right now. I relapsed last week after 8 months sober. Started with a beer after work...4 days of complete insanity followed. We can't let our guard down like that anymore. Let's try again!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 496
Hey stepping. I didn't have quite as many sober days as you did,but I relapsed too last weekend. Proved to me again that drinking is not an option anymore. Glad you are ok,and back on track. You did it b4,u can do it again! 
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Hi Stepping. So glad to see you here. The kindness of people here, and the acceptance has been very helpful to me. I am thinking after all that time sober it will be easier for you now. Best wishes to you.
How was the meeting?
JunebugApril
How was the meeting?
JunebugApril
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 59
Hello! Just got to thinking and if you haven't been drinking for a while and a your resistance is way down that First and only drink might really affect your brain as if you had three or more. So we all know what happens when we are buzzed , any sense goes out the window and we continue. So that first drink after a long time is truly dangerous and so much more than just one. Thanks for the cautionary tale and I'm glad you have decided to get back on the ladder. You slipped a few rungs but you are back up on the ladder going up to the land of sobriety and that is what counts ! So next time think about it as way more than "just " one drink.
and drank every day after that for 7 more years...
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Maybe I should start bumping my own threads, lol. This is such a great place! THank you for all of the responses. THank you for making me think today about this Inda! I looked back today at my WAY old post from January. I dont even know that girl anymore!
I feel like I have grown so much and have finally realized I can not take one drink! I have tried so long to hold onto the idea that I could go back for just one. Maybe I tried to prove I could be normal and convinced myself after long sober times I can "be good".
Something has clicked this time. I was attending AA and never really "worked" the program.
For some reason I thought that if I simply went to meetings something would click...some kind of miracle i guess. I did not know how to get sober....I was SOO lost. I feel so sorry for that girl and totally understand anyone in my predicament then. It's hard. When you lose yourself and your life after so many years of alcohol..it's hard you literally forget how to live without alcohol. I forgot. Forgot how to have friends, forgot how to love, forgot who I was. All I knew was alcohol!!!!
Thank God I now see the only way the program works and the only way I will stay sober is if I work the program and really, really, really, realize in my heart that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC...always will be and that I can NEVER drink again, ever. There's no "fun go" limited adventure go with drink when you have this disease. And now I am OK with that. I feel like I have PEACE!!!! REAL HONEST TO GOD PEACE, because of Him!
My goal is to work the steps daily and go to meetings daily. Surround myself with sober people that understand such as on here and at meetings. I want to be sober more than ANYTHING! In the past I wanted to be sober too no doubt BUT in hinde sight I think I wanted to be sober where I didnt drink day in and day out but I could still enjoy when I wanted, ya know.
FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY !!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I am free of the chains of addiction. Seriously anyone who was in my shoes keep fighting. Just don't give up ever!!! I never would have dreamed EVER that I would get to this point but I am. And if you keep praying and want something bad enough it's happen. It just night take you a few times to figure it out. Never give up though. Where there is a will there is a way. Believe me something will just click and then it gets easy and you say to yourself what the heck have I been doing for the past 10 yrs (in my case) I wish I could have done this a long time ago. Don't look back at your past with regret either. I had to go through all that H%%% to get to Heaven! Seriously that devil will try, try and try but ultimately if you let him in God will help. You have to ask though..sometimes many times. He doesn't know to help unless you ASK. He loves you and wants so much to be apart of your liffe in every single way possible.
Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry just seriosuly so happy. I can officially finally say what I have wanted to say for the longest time ever. I am not that girl anymore!!! I have self esteem, courage, a want for life that i cant even begin to express. I want those suffering to have what i have and you will if you DONT EVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I have grown so much and have finally realized I can not take one drink! I have tried so long to hold onto the idea that I could go back for just one. Maybe I tried to prove I could be normal and convinced myself after long sober times I can "be good".
Something has clicked this time. I was attending AA and never really "worked" the program.
For some reason I thought that if I simply went to meetings something would click...some kind of miracle i guess. I did not know how to get sober....I was SOO lost. I feel so sorry for that girl and totally understand anyone in my predicament then. It's hard. When you lose yourself and your life after so many years of alcohol..it's hard you literally forget how to live without alcohol. I forgot. Forgot how to have friends, forgot how to love, forgot who I was. All I knew was alcohol!!!!
Thank God I now see the only way the program works and the only way I will stay sober is if I work the program and really, really, really, realize in my heart that I AM AN ALCOHOLIC...always will be and that I can NEVER drink again, ever. There's no "fun go" limited adventure go with drink when you have this disease. And now I am OK with that. I feel like I have PEACE!!!! REAL HONEST TO GOD PEACE, because of Him!
My goal is to work the steps daily and go to meetings daily. Surround myself with sober people that understand such as on here and at meetings. I want to be sober more than ANYTHING! In the past I wanted to be sober too no doubt BUT in hinde sight I think I wanted to be sober where I didnt drink day in and day out but I could still enjoy when I wanted, ya know.
FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY !!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I am free of the chains of addiction. Seriously anyone who was in my shoes keep fighting. Just don't give up ever!!! I never would have dreamed EVER that I would get to this point but I am. And if you keep praying and want something bad enough it's happen. It just night take you a few times to figure it out. Never give up though. Where there is a will there is a way. Believe me something will just click and then it gets easy and you say to yourself what the heck have I been doing for the past 10 yrs (in my case) I wish I could have done this a long time ago. Don't look back at your past with regret either. I had to go through all that H%%% to get to Heaven! Seriously that devil will try, try and try but ultimately if you let him in God will help. You have to ask though..sometimes many times. He doesn't know to help unless you ASK. He loves you and wants so much to be apart of your liffe in every single way possible.
Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just wanna scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry just seriosuly so happy. I can officially finally say what I have wanted to say for the longest time ever. I am not that girl anymore!!! I have self esteem, courage, a want for life that i cant even begin to express. I want those suffering to have what i have and you will if you DONT EVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Wow! Now I can ask you for advice
I am newly sober - just a few weeks. So when you went to the meetings, did something finally click for you? I go to the meetings, but kind of feel like an alien there, LOL. I know meetings are a good thing if I want to stay sober, but I don't get all that much out of them yet. Got any tips for a newbie?
I am newly sober - just a few weeks. So when you went to the meetings, did something finally click for you? I go to the meetings, but kind of feel like an alien there, LOL. I know meetings are a good thing if I want to stay sober, but I don't get all that much out of them yet. Got any tips for a newbie?
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Originally Posted by Junebugapril 
Wow! Now I can ask you for advice
I am newly sober - just a few weeks. So when you went to the meetings, did something finally click for you? I go to the meetings, but kind of feel like an alien there, LOL. I know meetings are a good thing if I want to stay sober, but I don't get all that much out of them yet. Got any tips for a newbie?
I am newly sober - just a few weeks. So when you went to the meetings, did something finally click for you? I go to the meetings, but kind of feel like an alien there, LOL. I know meetings are a good thing if I want to stay sober, but I don't get all that much out of them yet. Got any tips for a newbie?
Honestly girl I tell ya. The last sober stint I was doing good. Got down 95 days then moved back closer to family (who are all drinkers). In this time my clarity got so good that I left a job of 5 years to return back closer to family, that is what took me there. Anyway, we went out to dinner, watched TV at home, and all they did was drink, drink, drink. I stayed sober but it was eating me like mad. I didn't have to see drinking before I left my old town because anyone who hung around me I made sure alcohol would not be in the area. Anyway when I got here and saw all that I guess I got mad in a way AGAIN thinking WHY CANT I DRINK...anyway as you see in the beginning of this thread it is where I "tried again" with much failure. After that relapse I realized I need to CONSTANTLY be surrounded with sober people. People like me that can not drink and that are not only sober but happy being sober. Notice through that sober stint I was not participating in activity here or at AA. I kept saying I need sober ppl to be around...every one drinks blah blah blah...but I was too lazy...I wasnt working a program...THAT WAS MY MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!
Keep going to meetings! That means you are trying. I cant say that something clicked in the middle of AA cause what I said above is when it worked. But I did know from my experiences with AA I WANTED what those ppl had. I just didn'y know how to get it. Now I realize I need them. If you ever need support I will be more than happy to help. Keep trying!! If that desire is there you can stop! I promise you. If I can do it anyone can. I was a daily drinker for 7-8 years. I was killing myself. i lost the complete me... I got her back and I promise you hun you can get yourself back to. I cant stress enough KEEP trying and working the steps itll click. read here too the step forums. lots of knowledge there for us newbie. PM me anytime!
and I must add here too June..it doesnt have to be AA. Find what works for you and work the living day light outta that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Stepping, thank you so much! I'll take you up on that offer and will PM you! It makes sense to surround myself with sober people. So far I have been doing that. But as you found out, being around drinkers will be very tempting.
I found an AA meeting tonight I am going to go to called Quad A. I have a problem with the higher power thing, and this is for agnostics, so maybe that will be a good one!!!
Hugs,
JunebugApril
I found an AA meeting tonight I am going to go to called Quad A. I have a problem with the higher power thing, and this is for agnostics, so maybe that will be a good one!!!
Hugs,
JunebugApril
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Dont sweat that HP thing.
Honestly everyone has one inside of them. Let it be your heart, that muscle has always blown me away how it just keeps beating .
Or like I did in the beginning I used the people in the rooms of AA. I could see them, touch them , and hear them. Tangiable .. They were my HP for a long time. And sorta still are.
Honestly everyone has one inside of them. Let it be your heart, that muscle has always blown me away how it just keeps beating .
Or like I did in the beginning I used the people in the rooms of AA. I could see them, touch them , and hear them. Tangiable .. They were my HP for a long time. And sorta still are.
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