courage2

talked to mom yesterday and we got to discussing our health, and i mentioned to her (not very forcefully) that i can't drink anymore, and think maybe i can never drink again. rather than bother her with my problems (she's 85, and i seldom see her, so it seems pointless), i just told her that it's upsetting my stomach, which is true, anyway. So she says, "Why not switch to wine?"

THIS from a woman whose husband, sister, father-in-law, and THREE brothers-in-law were ALL alcoholics, 4 of them dead of it or related problems. AND who once said to me, if she could change anything in her life, she would never have touched a drop. !!! AND my guess is I'm not the only one of her children with a serious alcohol problem.

sugarbear1

you aren't alone!

Anna

It's hard for others to understand alcoholism and addiction, but it's always good to know that we do understand.

MIRecovery

I have found that when we expect sane people to understand insane behavior the out comes are not positive

TTBABP

My mother gets very sad and disturbed when I get drunk around her but she cannot admit the extent of my problem. She always says "Don't drink, too much" This too is with several alcoholics in the family. I know she means well but she either just can't understand because she is not alcoholic or just can't bring herself to admit that her little girl is one. We are very close but I realize I need to find my support for this elsewhere as it is just to hard and beyond comprehension for my mom. She will remain my best friend but this will have to be one thing we do not share. Good luck to you.

Thepatman

Remember that mother's love us behond words. She said Wine because she loves you, not because she wan't you to drink.

And you did not present it to her for what it is. "upsetting my stomach" is different then I have a problem.
She might even think you should stop completelly but because she loves you, the way you "are" she won't say it.

Just my take on it ;-)

AAaaron

My oldest brother tells me its a matter of control.
It hurts me when he says that.
My Dad is glad I am in the program but I think he also believes in self control and will power.

Keep trudging that road friend....

IndaMiricale

I completely agree here.

Moms are just something that we ever truly describe..

And if you had told her you stopped drinking because that drink wants to KILL you , I am pretty sure she wouldnt of told you to drink wine..

And like it was said, only a alcoholic can understand a alcoholic's mind.

courage2

thanks to all but i dunno -- my mother's kind of strange. She was on a lot of pills (serious stuff, seconal & darvon) during my adolescence, and she has her own denial issues. i just thought the conversation was kind of sad/funny.

pattyj

I think people who quit altogether have more control then those who have a few every now and then. Not having something for the rest of your life takes more will power, whether or not your are an alcoholic. My mom is the same way... she is an alcoholic, along with most of my family. I told her I quit and while she said she is proud of me has still offered me drinks. And I told her that I was quitting because I have a problem and love life more without the booze. My cousin told me to drink socially and 'to switch to wine' when I told her I quit. And I told her the same thing as I told my mom. I wouldn't be upset with my mom if I was you but just know in your heart that you are doing what is best for you and you alone.

carvel

I picked back up after 22 yrs of sobriety. Took my mom out to dinner a week later and ordered wine for both of us. Her first words were: "I'm so happy that you can drink again!"

This excitement came from a woman whose husband and father died of alcoholism. She loves me dearly, but "normals" just don't get it.

Needless to say that after going back to drinking I was worse off than ever after only a few weeks. I've been back on the beam (not Jim Beam) for just under 5 months.