Soberpotamus

I woke up one day and looked around and realized I'd isolated myself from everyone... and was prisoner in my own little house I'd bought... hiding from people and the world. I had quit my job, ended relationships and had built a little cocoon of insulation around myself so I could drink to oblivion whenever I chose. No accountability. I called it "independence" and "strength" and fulfilling lifelong goals of self-employment and home ownership... to do the things I thought would make myself (and others) proud of me, though I'd pushed everyone away. And yet I wasn't all that independent and strong, and it pretty much all revolved around me controlling everything I could control.

I'd say that was a desperate attempt to control people, places and things in a twisted way. I wanted no input from the outside world. Alcohol was my only comfort.

Lulu212

SoberJennie - I could have written that story verbatim. Amazing the similarities we "alkies" have sometimes!

Living

I was known as "The Change Lady" at my liquor store. If I didn't have the cash to buy my wine, I would collect change and pay for a cheap bottle of Vodka with change.

It's a Mom/Pop type liquor store and the most embarrising thing was walking in with my change jar and he already had the $2 vodka on the counter for me. Poor Pop's had to count out 200 pennies for my poison.

Too many others to post but equally embarrasing. Shake my head!

bdnb74

Almost sold my deceased mothers jewelery, which ment the world to her, at a pawn shop. The guy at the pawn shop asked me why I want to get rid of your mothers stuff, do you want to get high. I said I have no use for them anymore. I am single, have no kids. Anyways, with the small amout of money that he was going to give me for them I walk out thank god. That was one of the moments that I realized that I sunk to an all new low and needed to stop drinking.

metalcut

I stole change from my kids to buy beer.

Would try to find excuses to go to the store, like "we are out of toilet paper".

I would make up excuses to go to work on a saturday or sunday when no one was there. Spend hours and hours by myself getting wasted. Go home and lie to my wife and kids, while they saw right through me.

Thanks for this one. This is the kind of stuff that helps me.

mwstylee

I had this "trick" where I would consume absolutely nothing for days except vodka and some water. I thought it would allow me to get my money's worth without pesky food getting in the way of absorbtion. Ever had a 1 week bender with no food? It was stupid and very dangerous.

Carlotta

I know it s really gross but often I would force myself to vomit so I could drink more. I am so good at vomiting that all I have to do is contract some stomach muscles and voila!! Speak of dangerous and disgusting.
Also a long time ago around 2000 I would take mouthwash with me to work to drink so I could be buzzed and not reek of booze. NUTS!

sun78

Oh my mind was so deceptive. Until I realised I am depressive and self medicating with alcohol, I was very good at hiding from myself. I went to social events (weddings, office parties) and didn't touch a drop of alcohol all night. On the way home, I always stopped and buy 2-4 beers. Once home I knocked myself out in a matter of minutes, very proud of myself that I am not like the drunks at the party and that I can control myself. Is there even a name for this ?post-drink?

Later, the more my disease progressed, the crazier my self-lies became. When spending the evening with friends, watching movies, I used to put 50+% plum fruit brandy into my beer. I did the same also when I had NA beer!!! When it was my turn to cook, I always bought a six pack and drank 4 beers while preparing the food and the last 2 after the dinner. In all these occasions I ended the evenings not remembering how was the movie, or how was the food or what I have said. These days, I do not cook anymore but my friends are ok with it...

Carlotta

"Oh my mind was so deceptive. Until I realised I am depressive and self medicating with alcohol, I was very good at hiding from myself. I went to social events (weddings, office parties) and didn't touch a drop of alcohol all night. On the way home, I always stopped and buy 2-4 beers. Once home I knocked myself out in a matter of minutes, very proud of myself that I am not like the drunks at the party and that I can control myself. Is there even a name for this ?post-drink? "

OMG that's me!!!

RunningClean

I drank myself into £20,000 of debt, stole money from my parents, lied to my employer about where I was (I sometimes work "on the road" so have the freedom to make stuff up if I like), went without food so that I could afford booze, and completely ignored everything good and important in my life, including my marriage, which I also drank away.

1stepup

So, so many to mention......

Drank in work, when working as a gardener, in the bushes, behind trees then buried the empties

Totally wrecked a friends wedding day dinner by getting that drunk I was asked to leave.

Drinking strong cider on buses, in public toilets.

When I was 16, and looked too young to buy it, I put spot gel on my face then shaved hairs from my legs and stuck it on my face to look like a beard! (It worked)!- how desperate is that.

Lost my driving license twice.

Drank aftershave when I ran out once.

Wrecked relationships and potential relationships.

Threw a breeze block through my dads window to get in when I thought I was locked out.- I wasn't he'd left the key under the mat.