Temptation
Temptation
I've just got back from a night out with a friend, and a friend of the friend. We went to a bar and I just had lemonades and then we went to my friends work party (I used to work for the same company) and hung out there for a bit. I had a lot of resentments about that job. I actually spoke to my old manager who knew the circumstances of my leaving and he seemed genuinely concerned about me.
And it was all ok, no temptations, no urges. Until my friends friend decided to tell me he was going to go and score some coke. Now going and telling me he was going to get my drug of choice was a wise idea because I was gone within 5 minutes. I don't know whether it's the fact I am in recovery or whether it's because I am aging but I honestly don't see the appeal of drinking in bars anymore. It was freezing, people were angry, police were everywhere and I bought one round of drinks for 3 people and it cost me £11. I had to use a £20 note to pay for 3 drinks. Jesus.
Anyways that's my rant. I removed myself from the situation. I am slightly annoyed that my friend didn't tell me about her friend being a massive drinker and drug user though. Maybe she doesn't know. I guess I will have to talk to her about it in the future. But I'm clean and sober and actually warm now thanks for letting me share.
Natom.
And it was all ok, no temptations, no urges. Until my friends friend decided to tell me he was going to go and score some coke. Now going and telling me he was going to get my drug of choice was a wise idea because I was gone within 5 minutes. I don't know whether it's the fact I am in recovery or whether it's because I am aging but I honestly don't see the appeal of drinking in bars anymore. It was freezing, people were angry, police were everywhere and I bought one round of drinks for 3 people and it cost me £11. I had to use a £20 note to pay for 3 drinks. Jesus.
Anyways that's my rant. I removed myself from the situation. I am slightly annoyed that my friend didn't tell me about her friend being a massive drinker and drug user though. Maybe she doesn't know. I guess I will have to talk to her about it in the future. But I'm clean and sober and actually warm now thanks for letting me share.
Natom.
Well done Natom!! This is a good story to share. Did the friend of the friend know about your addiction and they were warning you about the coke? Or was it a coincidence they mentioned it which gave you warning to hit the door? Either way, I am glad you were warned and protected your sobriety like the jewel that it is.
Sometimes I don't think people realize what addiction is like for us. While they are having a simple group conversation, I can still be two minutes behind thinking about something alcohol related someone said previously. It will stick to my mind like metal shavings to a magnet if I am vulnerable. Meanwhile everyone else doesn't even notice that an alcohol topic was mentioned. Lol
Alcohol still takes on a larger then life vibration for me when it is introduced and I suspect this will take years to settle down. However I have noticed if I am in a place I chose and with someone I am very secure with that it recedes quickly. But if I am at a function with many people or one I felt I "had" to attend socially (like for work or family) then it stands out in stark relief to me until I leave. Maybe that is some kind of protective alarm thing I've developed to guard me when I am vulnerable but I hope it settles down eventually.
Sometimes I don't think people realize what addiction is like for us. While they are having a simple group conversation, I can still be two minutes behind thinking about something alcohol related someone said previously. It will stick to my mind like metal shavings to a magnet if I am vulnerable. Meanwhile everyone else doesn't even notice that an alcohol topic was mentioned. Lol
Alcohol still takes on a larger then life vibration for me when it is introduced and I suspect this will take years to settle down. However I have noticed if I am in a place I chose and with someone I am very secure with that it recedes quickly. But if I am at a function with many people or one I felt I "had" to attend socially (like for work or family) then it stands out in stark relief to me until I leave. Maybe that is some kind of protective alarm thing I've developed to guard me when I am vulnerable but I hope it settles down eventually.
The friend of the friend was briefed on my recovery. Admittedly he said he felt guilty drinking around me. I didn't judge him for wanting to use. If I could use recreationally I would. But I know I can't. He said he would rather have told me than spent the night doing it secretly which is fair enough.
Natom.
Natom.
Natom, your exit strategy was perfect. I was out briefly for drinks after work. No one let me buy a round as I was only drinking lemonade. It seems unfair that you have to pay £11 for a round when your drink is only £1:50! I think another strategy I'll employ is just to buy my own drinks. That way I don't have to explain every time there is a round or pay ridiculous prices for other people to get tanked! I don't plan on going to those places often though.
I liked reading about your lightening quick reflex to leave. You would have suspected something anyway if your friends friend hadn't told you and that may have been very hard.
Well done
S x
I liked reading about your lightening quick reflex to leave. You would have suspected something anyway if your friends friend hadn't told you and that may have been very hard.
Well done
S x
I was actually drinking Red Bulls which are about the same price as a pint in bars my way. I would have known if he was using regardless. I have addict-dar. It was an experience that I learnt a lot from. I doubt I will be going out again soon though lol.
Natom
Natom
Glad you made it out of there! I felt the same way at a party last week - a few of my "buddies" decided (after many beers and whatever drugs they were on) to light off some fireworks at 1am. Then one of them started throwing up. I just kept thinking I couldn't wait to get out of there so after only a couple hours I bounced. And I felt better at home where it was quiet and warm. And that's ok today.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)