Upcoming Danger--advice needed!UPDATE:Success-ish.
Upcoming Danger--advice needed!UPDATE:Success-ish.
Hi there everyone.
In my last thread, I was worried about the upcoming arrival of my friends. To everyone who posted their advice, I just wanted you to know, that in the '"not-drinking" dept., I succeeded. I did not drink. HOWEVER, in the being a normal human being who has a good time while not drinking: total FAILURE.
I really, really had hoped that if I treated it like "no big deal," that it would be. But shortly after our friends arrived, a 12 pack of amber ale was plunked down on the table. (Twinge,) I told my friends I wasn't drinking, and was honest about why. Fine. Then my husband came home, and it was all like, "Hey blah blah great to see everybody, oh great! Beer, give me a freakin' beer, ooh yeah, that's better," clinking of glass bottles, beer bottle caps being popped, loud yucking it up, kids screaming and playing... and there went my attitude. Right down the drain. I tried to fight it, I tried to tell myself it was no big deal, but it wasn't working.
The boys were full of beans and getting into trouble, they were trying to lock me out of the guest room/sewing/music room, and that really pissed me off, and then my 5 year old boy jumped on my sewing table where somebody had put my electric guitar--which of course I thought was going to get knocked over and broken, so I lost my **** and started screaming. So, let's just say it mostly down hill from there...
My family has come home sooner than expected, so I'm going to have to write part two, sometime tomorrow.
Cheers.
In my last thread, I was worried about the upcoming arrival of my friends. To everyone who posted their advice, I just wanted you to know, that in the '"not-drinking" dept., I succeeded. I did not drink. HOWEVER, in the being a normal human being who has a good time while not drinking: total FAILURE.
I really, really had hoped that if I treated it like "no big deal," that it would be. But shortly after our friends arrived, a 12 pack of amber ale was plunked down on the table. (Twinge,) I told my friends I wasn't drinking, and was honest about why. Fine. Then my husband came home, and it was all like, "Hey blah blah great to see everybody, oh great! Beer, give me a freakin' beer, ooh yeah, that's better," clinking of glass bottles, beer bottle caps being popped, loud yucking it up, kids screaming and playing... and there went my attitude. Right down the drain. I tried to fight it, I tried to tell myself it was no big deal, but it wasn't working.
The boys were full of beans and getting into trouble, they were trying to lock me out of the guest room/sewing/music room, and that really pissed me off, and then my 5 year old boy jumped on my sewing table where somebody had put my electric guitar--which of course I thought was going to get knocked over and broken, so I lost my **** and started screaming. So, let's just say it mostly down hill from there...
My family has come home sooner than expected, so I'm going to have to write part two, sometime tomorrow.
Cheers.
Sorry it was rough - I think it is a big deal tho - I certainly remember it as one.
A few times I quit and told myself I should just get on with my life, the sooner the better...
but my life was geared around drinking.
Without that element, in the midst of drinkers? I was miserable.
I think it's perfectly ok to make changes in your life....and to avoid boozy get togethers for a while.
Once you're sure that sobriety's what you want and that nothing or noone will say you on that you can go wherever and do whatever you want
A few times I quit and told myself I should just get on with my life, the sooner the better...
but my life was geared around drinking.
Without that element, in the midst of drinkers? I was miserable.
I think it's perfectly ok to make changes in your life....and to avoid boozy get togethers for a while.
Once you're sure that sobriety's what you want and that nothing or noone will say you on that you can go wherever and do whatever you want

Thanks folks,
BTW, no one actually got really drunk. It was pretty standard low key family drinking. But, it is still the type of situation that I used to look forward to drinking with everybody. It was just...harder than I thought it was going to be. After all, I hardly ever socialize without drinking, and I do love beer. So, it was hard. More later,
Thanks.
BTW, no one actually got really drunk. It was pretty standard low key family drinking. But, it is still the type of situation that I used to look forward to drinking with everybody. It was just...harder than I thought it was going to be. After all, I hardly ever socialize without drinking, and I do love beer. So, it was hard. More later,
Thanks.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Well done ...
So hard to do specially early in sobriety... You SO DID not fail...
Like Dee just said, People and places are so huge for us... I just flat out could not have fun around drinking crowds without picking up also..So I STAYED THE HELL AWAY from that...
I was always happier then...
So hard to do specially early in sobriety... You SO DID not fail...
Like Dee just said, People and places are so huge for us... I just flat out could not have fun around drinking crowds without picking up also..So I STAYED THE HELL AWAY from that...
I was always happier then...

I think it's a big deal and very normal to be uncomfortable and out of your element when you're used to drinking then suddenly not drinking.
Drinking was my solution to all of life. Boredom, anxiety, social lubrication. It was just there to go along with everything. Eventually I got to the point where I relied on it to get through even the smallest tasks.
Be proud of yourself for not drinking. That is huge, even though it might not feel like it now. I can definitely relate to losin your sh*t after a while. Same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I was good and comfortable pretty much the whole night. Put up with a lot of BS from the entire place drinkin around me. Then, suddenly, without warning, one stupid act by a drunkard made me say "Well, this is where I leave." So I left.
I do find it humorous that you described the "12 pack of amber ale" in such detail. Hehe. I also notice what type and volume of drinks are around me sometimes, too.
Drinking was my solution to all of life. Boredom, anxiety, social lubrication. It was just there to go along with everything. Eventually I got to the point where I relied on it to get through even the smallest tasks.
Be proud of yourself for not drinking. That is huge, even though it might not feel like it now. I can definitely relate to losin your sh*t after a while. Same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I was good and comfortable pretty much the whole night. Put up with a lot of BS from the entire place drinkin around me. Then, suddenly, without warning, one stupid act by a drunkard made me say "Well, this is where I leave." So I left.
I do find it humorous that you described the "12 pack of amber ale" in such detail. Hehe. I also notice what type and volume of drinks are around me sometimes, too.

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