rainyengland

Hi

Into day 7 -feeling good and really pleased with myself that I'm through another night and awake at 6am ready for the day! :-)

I have one niggling issue - I arranged pre sober to meet up with friends on 16th December for a nite out!.. Two of them are close friends and with kids,commitments we rarely go out on boys nite so when we do it always ends up a drinking marathon

I think I should avoid this as I know I will get wasted and then next day back on it again :-(

They don't know I have a drink issue so not sure how to approach this ...

I know I should be selfish and make a excuse...

Going and not drinking will not be a option...few weeks away but it's already bugging me

Part of me wants to be truthfull and tell them I have a issue and need to avoid situations like that! - being a bloke not that easy though !

Thanks!

Dee74

There's your answer - I agree with you. Going on a boys night out without telling them what you're up to would be madness.

Don't go - the reason you give- well...that one's up to you...I like honesty, but I know how big that full disclosure statement feels in the early days.

D

Cleopatra1

hiya rainy ,, im so with you on this one,, well done for getting to yr 7 day mark,, thats so awesome,,, keep it up,, and i promise ,, it gets easier each day,,,
ive been to 3 parties now,,, luckily everyone there knew im abstaining, so it was easy,, but if i were you,,, and this is only my advice,, i would go,,, (or as dee said , dont ),, but say that you are quitting for a pre crimbo, diet? or just that you want to detox for a while?
everyone does that ,, even non drinkers,, so not much of a fib really iss it???
but ,, if you feel you cant say that , and theyd allow you to get thru the night without any,,, then make excuses and refrain from going,,, but imo,,, you will be well into your sober time by then,, like about ,, ummm,,,, 23 days? so it will be so much easier for you by then,,, see how you feel nearer the date maybe hun??
good luck,, keep us posted,, and well done you on yr 7 days xxx

x lv cleo xxxx

Cleopatra1

hello again,, mr. rainy xxx ,,,

or,,,, hang on i just read yr a dude,,, sorry,, gee im getting all mixed up on sr lately,,, lol,,, i think everyone a gal!!!!!!
lol,,, you should see me in chat!! now thats funny,, yesterday i thought poor ole jasp was pregnant!!!
yep,, hes a dude too,,,lol
ok ok,, so it is different , cos yr a dude,,, why ? thats just the environment we live in i guess,,, blokes are blokes,,,,
so ,, i still stand by my thought,, that you should wait until nearer the date,,, you dont know how yr feel by then,,,, so sit on it for a coulpe of wks,,,,
hun,,, lol,,, its ok i call everyone hun,,,, dude , or dudette!!

lv x a womanly cleo xxxx

Cleopatra1

i havent had me coffee yet lol xxxx

Scott6433

Hey man, tough spot definitely. Let me know if you need an excuse to give them. I'm full of them. I'm an alcoholic after all. Kidding aside though I don't think that would be selfish. Easier said than done but you need to recognize this as your time and you my friend are number 1 right now. Your well being needs to come first for a bit.

Young

That's a hard one there I know for me in early sobriety I made a lot of mistakes and I'm very lucky to still be sober. I used to go out with my friends on free pool nite and karokee nites at the pub. I'm very lucky I didn't drink. My friends in Aa kept telling me it was a bad idea. I finally listened thank god. I have learned in sobriety that a lot of my old friends weren't really friends, but drinking buddies I mean of the 10 or so friends I used to hang out with I'm still friends with and see 2 on a regular basis they know my situation and we do other things like go fishing or hunting or bike riding we don't go to bars. Sometimes we will stop at a bar for lunch or dinner but that's it they have enough respect for me not to get smashed and they see how much better my life is without drinking so they never offer me or try to persuade me. They actually tell me they will kick my ass if they ever find out I drank again. That's true friendship. If your friends are true friends see if they want to see a movie or go fishing or some other activity that doesn't involve drinking. Or maybe just meet for dinner and explain what's going on in your life who knows maybe they will want to try sobriety to. I hope you have found a good support group, I know that Aa works for me. But whatever works for you works for you. I know for me when I have to talk myself into doing something that doesn't help my sobriety its usually a bad idea. Best of luck. Ole chap! I'm a American

Sazzle

I arranged a friends 40th before I decided to quit. The first event was around 50 people in the pub. I got lost in the crowds with my cranberry juice and no one bothered me. I left early (didn't say goodbye to a few key players, I just text them when I got home). The 2nd event was a meal for 8 of us. It was very good and I survived but looking back (I was 14 days then) I wasn't completely relaxed.

Your situation is intense and your friends want to get merry and catch up. Either say 'guys, what a bummer I'm on these strong antibiotics' or don't go. Decide nearer the time. My resolve peaks and troughs on a daily basis!

Good luck from another Brit

S x

rainyengland

LOL cleopatra!..just in from day in mountains on bike and you have made me laugh! :-)

Thanks dudes and dudettes for advice - I think I should make a clearer judgement nearer date as mind will be better place - where I am now though is to cancel as its too risky after hard work so far

All thoughts now getting through weekend - bring it on wine , your staying in the shop and I'm taking kids to cinema with money I would have wasted on you - you evil grape!!!

Thanks again for advice all - without bring here and having friends no way would I be this far - brilliant!! :-)

rainyengland

Being here I mean!!!

Xune

Choosing not to drink to is always an option and if you cannot understand that, then you already know the answer.

terribob

As one of those guys who doesn't get out a whole lot anymore, can I suggest that you be up front with them? Maybe you can plan a guys night out that doesn't revolve around drinking. I know if I had it all planned and it was something I was looking forward to I'd be quite disappointed if you bailed on me.

Just a thought. You know yourself better than anyone here possibly could...especially a drunk with just over 3 days sober under his belt.