eumenides

The easy answer is: don't drink. I went through the same process a few weeks ago when I was going to a concert. Truthfully, the time I spent anticipting the concert was much worse than just being there with my friends. It's just not that big a deal. It is to you but not to them.

On rereading your posts, I am uncertain if you are looking forward to getting through this event and eventually drinking at a later date or are you interested in quitting drinking for good. I get the sense you are equivocating.

renaldo

This might be an opportunity to see what drinking looks like when you're not doing it.

doggonecarl

You've stated in previous posts that you can't control your drinking in social situations.

You're concerned about an upcoming social situation. You are asking us for advice...

Well, if getting bit by a lion was my problem, I wouldn't put my head in its mouth. I hope you can garner from this that I don't think it's wise to put yourself in harms way. I don't care how you spin it: Friends, family, holidays. You can't control your drinking in social situations. Your words.

If you had three months sobriety, I might give different advice.

You have five days.

Gforce23

Hi there everyone,

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for responding. I have certainly gotten a lot of different answers, so I am going to have to take the advice(s) that resonate with me.

I rather agree with Feelinggreat and the other advice that is similar. While I understand completely while some people think it might be dangerous to put myself in that kind of situation, here's why I'm now o.k with it:

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this. Not just this upcoming visit but the whole drinking kit and kaboodle. To sort of answer Eumenides, I have decided that I am not going to worry about not drinking forever--not because it isn't what I want to do, but my mind completely freaks out if that's what I tell it.

What I'm doing presently is a bit of a Jedi Mind trick--I'm telling my self that I'm taking a break, for now. I'm taking a page from the A.A playbook, and I'm just not drinking "today" or right now, or this second, or whatever. I am telling myself, that not drinking is as big of a deal, or as little of a deal as I choose to make it. I am rehearsing my responses for turning down drinks, and the more I do this, the less anxiety I feel about the situation. When I think about it, it really is no big deal to turn down a drink.

Here's the thing: it's not that I don't think that these types of situations shouldn't be taken seriously, it's that I am realizing that they really are as big, or as little of a deal as I make it. Instead of worrying about this situation and making it this big giant thing in my mind, I'm using what is sort of an NLP trick, and working on making it a little thing in my mind. I'm in control of saying yes or no. Will it be uncomfortable? Yep, it might be, I might have a twinge or two when I say no. Will I have to fight the urge? Sure. But those feelings won't last. You know if I learned anything from child birth, it's that even the gnarliest most torturous pain you've ever known, ends at some point.

Last time I decided to quit drinking, I made it into a big forever thing and I dreamt every night about drinking! I dreamt that I was at a beach in Hawaii (where I've never been, but hey, I can dream....) and there were picinic tables as far as the eye could see and there were pints of beer on everyone's table except mine... it was like being in the desert and everyone else has water but you. Or even more awful, would be the dream where I was at a bar with a beer, and I'd start drinking it before I realized I wasn't supposed to. Well, I don't know what my dreams were last night, but I woke up with a feeling of peace this morning, like it was going to be o.k. So I'm going to roll with that for now.

I felt bad for days after last Saturday. It wasn't even the worst hangover I've ever had, but for some reason I just felt poisoned for days. I was anxious and depressed and I didn't sleep well for 4 nights in a row. My workouts on the trail and at the gym felt like crap. So, since I just got back from the gym today and I feel fan-freakin' tastic, I don't feel like screwing that up. And hey, who's in CHARGE here anyway, me, or the alcohol?
I say me.

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate everyone's thoughtful advice and or opinions on this forum. I will let everyone know how it goes either way, though I'm not expecting to fail at this moment.

Cheers