blueskies67

Hi everyone,

I'm Joy, sober through the grace of God and the fellowship since 1/26/08.

I'm not new to Recovery, but am new to this forum. I signed up awhile ago, but never posted.

My son (19yo) is leaving for Navy Bootcamp in 2 weeks. He'll be "gone" for 8 years. I've made living amends to him during my Recovery, but not sure what to say to him before he leaves.

What I don't want to do is tell him I'm sorry blah blah blah but think I should say something to him about my alcoholism or *something*. We have a better relationship now than we did 5 years ago but we never sat down and talked about AA or my drinking. He was 14 when I stopped and am not sure what he remembers or knows about. He knows I'm in AA but has not participated in any AA activities.

Maybe I shouldn't say anything and just tell him I love him and to keep in touch. I don't know. I'm a mess right now. My sponsor can't be reached at the moment and I thought maybe some of you have been through this.

Have any of you said goodbye to a kid leaving for the service? Or, have any of you left for the service and remember what you wanted said or done?

How did you use your program to get you through it?

My apologies if this is an inappropriate place to post something like this.

Joy

justanothrdrunk

First - I discussed with my sponsor.

He told me that, #1, amends is about them, not me. It's not about me relieving my guilty feelings or whatever. They were harmed and my amends needs to be about "fixing" the harm I caused.

-I put "fixing" in quotes because that's probably not the best word. I don't repair anyone. I just couldn't think of another, better word there.

What does your sponsor have to say about it?

MycoolFitz

I left for the service many years ago all I wanted was a hug and I love you be safe

blueskies67

My sponsor has told me that living amends is the best thing in my situation. Just doesn't feel right somehow. I'm keeping my mouth shut but asking for guidance from my HP. Just had to talk about it, thanks.

blueskies67

Thanks, MyCool : )

Keep it Simple. Not easy for someone like me lol

amy55

When my son went off to college, I bought him a gift and told him to open it when he was alone. I don't remember what the gift was, it was the letter that I wrote him. I told him how proud I was of him. I wrote about how I felt when I was pregnant with him, and how much joy that gave me, I wrote about the milestones in his life. I just wrote about him, and how much I loved him.

That was 10 years ago, he still has that letter