773niki

Hi guys
I could really use your advice/guidance on an issue I'm having.

I went into treatment for alcoholism (for the 3rd time) on October 1. I've been in in-patient, then PHP (partial hospitalization) and now IOP (intensive outpatient) and I'm following the 12 step model...going to meetings everyday, got a sponsor for the first time, etc. FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME - this is all clicking in the right way and I'm feeling great about it.

With that said, I've been on disability from work since then. I've recently (today) received an email from HR about my return to work date, which was originally set for this Wed. However, after talking to my case manager today, she wants me to stay till next friday. The email from HR said that if I don't return to work by Wed, then they may have to terminate me.

This is good news and bad news.

I don't think going back to this job will be good for me (client travel, dinners, anxiety, schmoozing) but I need income. I kinda want to take a risk and go back to school for my MBA, really focus on my recovery, and get a job instead of a career for a little while. My mother (I'm 31) thinks that's the worst idea in the world and has got me questioning my motives.

Sure, I am fearful about going back to that job because they know what's been going on with me...but that's not the only reason I don't want to go. I kinda want to start over...help people, help myself.

Does anyone have any advice/experience with this kind of decision? I'm 30 days sober today...

tomsteve

good on ya for gettin the help!
welp, heres what i have done when i have had a choice to make that would effect my life:
i sat down with pen and paper, wrote the choices down, then listed the pros and cons of each choice( for me, this had to do with choices i was given to treat the cancer i was diagnosed with). it made it pretty clear which path for me to take.

sugarbear1

What is your financial situation like? There are things to consider here.

You got help for a problem, this is awesome, be proud of what you have accomplished!

If I didn't have another job lined up, I'd be back on Wednesday. But that is me.

MycoolFitz

I have experience, no advice. I went thru outpatient and 2 inpatient on my job and was kind of the talk at the water cooler. Got written up for absentees, etc. I finally told my boss I would take early retirement. She said that might be best. The world is not always so understanding but I had used up all my sick and vacation. Luckily for me I ended up better on retirement. Age has its benifits. I hope the best for you.

Rose2012

I personally have pressed the "reset" button of my life. I'm going back to school full time in January for a degree in Criminology and Psychology. I am not looking forward to being a 44-year old poor starving student, but what the hell, life is too short.

You already have outlined the triggers that you'll face going back to your old job....you want to start fresh...if you really look at the nitty gritty, can you manage going back for your MBA?

If so, it's always worth taking the risk for something you really want to do. I'm encouraging you to go back to school.

And congrats on your sobriety!

Thepatman

Difficult one. I would say follow your heart. You are young don't seem to have dependant children. You can have another job someday. You could actually bounce back in just a couple of years a buy us all dinner ;-)
Whatever stands in the way of sobriety sometimes must go.
My humble opinion, but we will be here whatever choice you make

artsoul

I think the only "advice" I'd offer is to think of what would help you or hinder you in staying sober. (Questions like which choice is less stressful? or more fulfilling? What about support? - stuff like that)....

Good luck with your decision!

mfanch

I knew that i could not go back to work (medical) and keep sobriety my #1 priority. I started over on a totally different path. Fear kept me in my old patterns, including my job. We are told that if we pause when doubtful, we will get our answer (BB p 86 at the bottom). I had a recovery job before and during going back to school (cake decorating). School was the best time of my new life...learning something meaningful that I was passionate about. And my recovery always stayed and continues to stay number one.

legna

The line that came immediately to mind was this:

Those who would give up freedom for security deserve neither and shall lose both.

Addiction is the antithesis of freedom. Those most familiar with your condition, namely yourself and your case manager, believe that you are risking your freedom to go back. Your case manager thinks that Wednesday is too early - you think that perhaps never is too soon.

Good luck with whichever path you take.

BadCompany

Technically you are not supposed to make any big changes in your first year of sobriety, but in reality in 22 years in AA I have seen many, many people go back to school to change their careers. Go for it.

TorontoGuy28

Hi there-

Being 30 days sober is too soon to go back, especially if that job was a contributing factor in your drinking... Is there a way you could avoid dinners/schmoozing etc. for another 3-4 months ? That's when I felt comfortable entertaining clients again, and attending various social functions with, and outside of work...

Same goes for doing your MBA, I would honestly allow 6 months of good sobriety before introducing more stress into your life...

Good luck

nonblondechef

Congratulations on your sobriety. Artsoul had great ideas to contemplate. Your health and sobriety are most important. Sorry, but I feel jobs come and jobs go. There are always temp jobs that will help pay the bills while we get steady and ready for the future. If it were me, I would go forward and never look back! Good luck in your choice and keep up the great work, 773niki!