hypochondriac

You're romanticising it again soberbrah!

Come on, is Ireland really gonna be a terribly dull place sober? Is Guinness the only thing that makes that country worth visiting?

Are you really going to be able to enjoy a pint of Guinness or are you gonna have several and fall over...?

soberbrah

well the thing is i was able to moderate when i was there so its tough for me

hypochondriac

I am in a similar situation Soberbrah cos I moderated all the time in 'public'. I went on holiday to Italy, sat out drinking Campari with friends. I never drank more than they did. It should have been lovely and relaxing but I was so frustrated because I couldn't get drunk enough and I was sharing a room with someone. Another time in Milan I had my own hotel room with a secret stash in it.

I don't know anything about your drinking history but for me I am beginning to realise that those times where I wasn't out of control don't really count for much. As someone rightly pointed out to me, moderating it every day isn't moderation.

Dee74

You've also just come out of rehab.

We all need to decide with experiences to give more weight to.

Honestly?

I think you're caught up in 'fantasy drinking' right now...all the pleasure and none of the consequences - but I hope, ultimately, you'll make good choices Brah.

D

soberbrah

yea it seems my last stretch "out there" i made it a priority to stay in control when in public, but when i was at my apartment alone id drink myself silly

elihoping

I meet some many Americans in AA who are just visiting Dublin and are enjoying it just as much without the booze. Trips abroad can happen without pints and shorts.

soberbrah

but the pints make it magical

hypochondriac

How exactly?

Fernaceman

I, too, would have these. However, in the end, they kept the cycle alive. Here is a little reading from the big book that helps me along:


"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."


Alcoholics Anonymous - Chapter 3, p.30

That darn persistent illusion!

soberbrah

can definately relate to that

nomis

I know exactly what you're talking about soberbrah. For me, a huge motivation in life in general has always been to look forward to vacations. Relaxing on a beach with a pinacolada. This has been a huge mental roadblock keeping me from getting sober in the past. The idea of being terrified of stopping drinking is tied strongly to this. If I'm sober what motivation do I have, how do I look forward to the future?

I guess it comes down getting other hobbies and believing that life really is enjoyable without alcohol. I'm not there yet, but for the first time in my life I beginning to see how that's possible.

Thanks for posting this, it's been on my mind for a long time.

Arrdubya

Alcohol and drugs excite and stimulate the pleasure centers of our brains. More so than the natural pleasures evolution wired us with. When we stop using, these primitive parts of our brains really crave that stimulation. Our primitive brains will try any trick in the book to get that stimulation. Drink and drug fantasies are just one of the tricks. Your rational mind(the real you) is much stronger than your primitive mind. Once you recognize these fantasies as such, they will have no power over you. You have the power within you. Google Rational Recovery.

Junebugapril

What the heck is it with us human beings, that we seek out poisons that alter our brains?! It's not just alcohol. I guess someone left a grape out in the sun and drank the residue and said OH WOW! But there are other plants. Why are we drawn to this stuff?

renaldo

That makes a lot of sense. I wish I could get my rational mind to do its job. Unfortunately I am a sucker for the quick fix. I've done a lot of planning for the future. It didn't work out - not because of anything I did or didn't do. Just the way the cookie crumbles. I go back to what makes me feel good NOW.

I've spent so much energy projected into what will happen in the future. Some of that energy has transpired into mind-numbing results that I could barely envision, but now I feel worn down and tired of trying.

artsoul

In one sense, maybe, but in reality what good is it if we lose the capacity to enjoy things sober or be happy with who we are?

I think you'll find that there are other ways of feeling good that are more permanent/satisfying- it just takes time to begin to appreciate them.

Ozgirl

I just got back from a South Pacific cruise. The second I have been on in my recovery. The one last November was tougher because it was my first sober holiday and there is a lot of alcohol around. This time I barely thought about it. Sobriety is the new normal. I have more money on holidays now for good things instead of alcohol, ie this time I bought a sauna/ steam room package and had a sauna everyday. I felt so relaxed when I got home. All my old holidays I felt rubbish after from drinking, and smoking and overeating. I actually feel like I've had a holiday now.