audra

Hi - I'm new here - 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 days sober.Have been attending AA meeting since day 1, - super helpful.

Here's the thing. I have made much progress in AA. I have a sponsor, and I'm on step 3. DH is attending Al-Anon. Things have been good. We felt that we needed some outside help on a few issues concerning our co-dependency with children. So we go to this psychologist.

When I left the hour meeting with her I felt like I had taken 200 steps backward. I felt like drinking (first time since I quit) and felt blamed and defeated. Without even getting to know me or finding out the kind of work I've done on myself since being in AA, she declared a bunch of "factual" things about me that she "saw" upon her first impressions. My DH thought she had bullied me. We didn't even discuss the issue that we went to see her about? She even declared that my 34 year marriage would end if I drank again. She knows nothing about my marriage.

My question is? Is this the way psychologists are? Am I just being a woos? I have been on a wobbled since Tuesday because of seeing her. I feel anxious and defeated about the whole thing - whereas before I felt like I was making good progress.

Audra

MidnightBlue

Hi, Audra. Welcome to SR!

I'm sorry to hear you had such a negative experience with a psychologist. My experience is absolutely opposite. My counsellor has supported me through the hardest and tragic moments in my life (non-related to drinking). Often she was the only person I could confide in and turn to for support. She just saved my personality and mental peace.

I hope you can find another specialist who won't give you such a stress and negativity.

Take care.

Thepatman

Anything that get's in your way of recovery must go. If she triggers you fire her.
You decide for yourself now. No one else can drive your life.

My 50 cents. Personally, I would even quit my job if it got in my way to remain sober.

TorontoGuy28

If this was your first visit, do not go back to her again.

Poorly qualified counselors/psychologists can sabotage sobriety. That has been my experience, and I've seen many on my road to sobriety.

However, I did find a phenomenal psychologist who specialized in people like us. She has been, and still is, critical in me achieving my sober time...

I suggest you seek someone else..

Best of luck !

Xune

Go see another psychologist, see if you can find one with a background working with addicts.

Do you believe your marriage would survive if you use again?

I ask, only because her saying that really seemed to bother you.

jstar

I agree with those above, I have found some great support from therapy & my husband and myself have been seeing someone together for the past few months & he is great and very supportive and encouraging regarding by new sobriety. it is important to find someone that can help you & your spouse through what you are going through. if this psychologist doesn't "get it"...get someone new! you need support right now & shouldn't feel bullied & anxious when you leave a session! the sessions should be helpful and encouraging!

best of luck & congrats on your 3+ months of sobriety! that is awesome!

Delilah1

I agree with all of the above posts as well. You are taking positive steps, and reaching out for help. Fire her and find a therapist who can help you continue on your path to sobriety and work on whatever issues you share that you need help with.

Don't let this one experience stop you from looking for help, and don't let her affect your sobriety.

lilgolden73

She sounds terrible! I would fire her as well, find someone else and hang in there, your doing great!

sugarbear1

step 3 gets us ready to delve into step 4 (and the rest of those steps)......this is where the ability to look at our own behavior begins....

Maylie

I would def. find a new psychologist. Although they aren't there to just tell you what you want to hear, that doesn't mean that you should leave the office feeling like you took 200 steps backwards.

When I leave mine sometimes I have gone through a rollercoaster of emotions from happy, to crying, to realizing what I need to do differently but no matter what, I always grow from the experience and get something valuable from every session. Going to talk to a couselor is supposed to help you reach inside and uncover things about yourself and your relationships. Also, I have never not gotten to discuss something that I had gone there feeling like I needed to discuss.

It sounds like this woman feels like she has you all figured out with actually getting to know you or your situation. Sometimes it takes going to a couple different people to find the right one. Don't let this discourage you and def. don't let it question your sobriety. Dump her and keep moving forward.

hugs

Maylie

nogard

I would not make any rash decisions or look for an answer that fits or suits you, rather talk to my sponsor. Getting to step 3 asks you to put faith and trust in a power greater than you and to move forward and bravely do the next 8 steps starting with a fearless and thorough moral inventory, can be scary and chanllenging. Thats why we have sponsors, to guide us through these times. Pick up the phone and not the booze my friend.

Rose2012

Yeah, that sounds horrible. I agree with everyone else, dump her. Back in 2003, I had a burnout, and I went through 11 therapists in the space of 2 years. Mind you, part of that was me being in denial and just hating on them, but I finally found one who clicked and she helped me for the next 7 years. Don't go back, counselling is supposed to be a helpful learning experience, not a blaming and bullying session. Don't let this derail you please!