Wastinglife

Hi Pkrma,
I know what you are going through. I have woken up a few times in a jail cell over the years. It always starts with a 'harmless' drink after work and ends 12 hours later passed out in a drunken stupor for me. I have so many embarrassing and shameful moments that people who know me aren't even fazed when they hear I spent a night in jail. We have to put the past behind us and learn from our mistakes. Life wasn't working for me while I was drinking, so I am going to try it sober.

avocado

Hello pkrma - just want to say first I like your avatar. Hicks was a genius.

We are definitely in the same boat. I spent a night in jail this year but the other two public drunkenness arrests the cops brought me to the hospital. I think the great thing for people at our stage of the game is to know we're not alone. Somehow it takes some of the guilt away to know we're not the only ones. I am also an atheist and have reservations about AA. I know people say it's not overtly religious but most of the participants are and the meetings have this general flavor of religious group. That turns me off and actually discourages me, so I'll be avoiding AA. I found info about SMART recovery and bought their handbook earlier this year but never got beyond reading the introduction. I now wish I had, as it might be the answer. It's what I'm going to try. It's based on cognitive behaviorism which is something I've studied in the past as I was a psychology major.

artisanpaul

I've been drinking for 30 years and the only time I was ever involved with the law has been alcohol related. I've had multiple DUI's to the point where the judge said to me, "You dont have to do any program for me, you've done them all already." I've been told that the kind of drinking you described is called "a situational alcoholic". I am one too, can't seem to stop when in a social gathering or in a club or bar. So I quit going to clubs and bars or social events where there is alcohol and guess what? When I drink alone I still get drunk and black out and throw up. Even to this day I think I can drink and I'll be fine, when in a group if I have to puke I just do and then I continue drinking, some peoples faces around me look puzzled but it's no big deal to me. The big book of AA say's that alcoholism is a disease of the body and an obsession of the mind and that's the truth. I've never hit what they call bottom but I've run into my garage several times. I don't like to drink, I love to drink! I've only ever stopped drinking because of legal issues. I'm convinced that I have been lucky, the last DUI, 7 yrs ago landed me in a jail sentence of 135 days of which I served 45, no probation, no program. It should have been my third consecutive DUI but since the prior DUI was 9yrs 11mo's and 22days prior, they lowered it to a second. I've done three 2nd offender progs in the past 31 yrs and one 1st offender prog. All I can say is that the disease is progressive and I'm glad I never killed anyone while driving drunk. In jail I met people who had, man that is tough. If you don't pray then start, it can't hurt, and it has helped me I believe. The fines and program you are going to have to afford is small compared to how your own humiliation will tear you up. Humans are the only animal that punish themselfs over and over again for the same mistake. A wolf that has to chew his own leg off to get out of a trap wouldn't punish or pay thought to having had to chew off his own leg after it was done, he would just try to survive. There are survivors and there are people who are alive and there are people who "really live". If you want to really live, you'll have to find another hobbie rather than drinking. If you wanna continue to drink then good luck out there. I wonder if the judge told you that you had cancer and the only way you can survive would be to stop drinking what your choice would be? In what way is a drink going to help you that not having one will?