Delilah1

My mother in law watched my kids this morning so I could go to see my therapist, and then I went to a group meeting.

I told her had a doctor appt. my therapist suggested letting her know beforevtomorrow that I decided to stop drinking. We have a great relationship, and she and I always drink wine together. When untold her she seemed disappointed and her response was " well what fun is that." I love her and didn't want to get into it so I just told her I am trying to be healthy and wine is not helping that.

May need an early escape tomorrow. I am more worried about my toxic sister in law. Can I trade acceptance for avoidance????

Sapling

Sure you can...I used avoidance any chance I could in early sobriety...I recommend it. Always have an escape plan...And some I just flat out didn't go.

Sapling

Let's put it like this...I had to to change my playmates and playgrounds...Because my playmates were drunks...And my playgrounds were saloons.

Thepatman

Sometime you have to draw a line in the sand...

Anna

Well, it sounds like she's threatened because you're changing and therefore the relationship will change. It's hard for others to understand alcoholism, but you will find lots of support here.

oh2exhale

((Delilah)) Time to take care of self first! Whatever it takes to do that. Remind yourself why you've made the decision to not drink, bring your go-to drink alternative. Take mental breaks throughout the day to remind yourself of how great you will feel Friday morning!!

Dee74

A lot of my friends were disappointed too...a lot of drinkers like to have a partner in crime I think...it makes them feel less conspicuous, and noone likes to lose playmates.

You're doing the right thing for yourself Delilah and your real friends will see that.

As far as Thanksgiving goes it's absolutely ok to have a plan and and escape route mapped out...if avoiding someone makes it easier I say go for it

MycoolFitz

I agree, even young my dad wanted me to drink with him, I think it normalized his behavior.

hypochondriac

Run away Delilah You don't have to handle this now and you don't have to justify your sobriety to anyone x

Fernaceman

Yup eventually my only acquaintances were other drunks and addicts because they were the only ones who didn't see a problem with what I was doing.

Fernaceman

I also only had to change one thing, and that was EVERYTHING!

God bless!

lilgolden73

Oh no my sober little sister....shall I put my cape on and fly to the rescue.....on my broomstick of course! Stay strong, I have almost caved these last few days, its tough I know!

Toss

Your strong Delilah, but if you feel unwelcomed or pressured, leave. I know from my experience in the past, I would stay, but at this point in my recovery, I would leave in the same situation.

You have really put an action plan together for your recovery and I'm envious.

Toss

Delilah1

Thanks Patman, I appreciated both of your posts today.

Delilah1

Thank you to all of you for your support.

I am sure she was caught off guard today, and she called tonight to check how the movie I took the kids to was. I know she will get used to the sober me, I don't think she was aware how much I was drinking. Fitz, I bet your dad felt the same.

Toss, I have been trying to utilize everything I can to remain focused on my recovery. It may be a little crazy, but I still feel like I need a plan for all of my free time.

Lola, we are going to get through Thanksgiving, and then the rest of the holidays sober together!!

Fernanceman, Hypo, Sapling, and O2exhale, I will have my keys close by in case I need to make a break for it, I will also bring some Tupperware because if I have to leave I am taking some pumpkin pie with me!!!!

Hope all of you have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Sapling

You too Delilah...Nothing wrong with including Pumpkin pie in your plan....You might just end up staying and having a good time sober....This will be my second sober Thanksgiving...I did a lot of praying on my first one. Be good!