nogard

Welcome to SR

eveval

Hi Susan, welcome to SR. I have similar issues with my boyfriend. He's one of those people who will buy a six pack of beer and have it in the fridge for a month. I am one of those people who will buy a six pack of beer and go out to get another one the same day because the first six were clearly not enough. Even though I promised myself I would only have two.

He swears I am a different person when I am drinking, and recently I relapsed. Although he understands that I am trying to stay sober, it got to the point where he told me if I chose to drink, he didn't want to be around me. Not in a "I'm gonna leave you" way but in a "I am going to stay away from you until you are sober". It was really painful to realize that I was choosing alcohol, foggy memories, dumb decisions and hangovers over my wonderful boyfriend.

I'm not sure I have any real advice to offer, but that I have learned that I certainly can't have just two drinks. The only option for me is not drinking at all.

Hevyn

Welcome to a wonderful place, Susan. You seem right at home already. I wish I'd reached out for help many years ago - I could have saved myself so much pain.

Congratulations on this great decision you've made. We're glad you're here.

JungleGirl

Hi Susan!

I'm a binge drinker too and had ups and downs with the level and frequency of my drinking over the last few years. I can't even count the amount of times I said "i'll just have a couple" and stumbled through the door at 4am.

I am just coming to the realisation that I literally have no control over alcohol, alcohol controls me, from the moment I take that first sip. Some people aren't affected like that but from your story and what I know about myself I believe we are controlled by alcohol and the easiest way to control it is to just stop all together, 2 drinks will just develop that fuzzy haze where you start to think 'ah 1 more couldn't hurt'.

You might be surprised and actually like your sober self better, if that is the path you choose to take I certainly do!

Good luck x

Susan80

Thank you to everyone for offering their kind support. It gives me strength to know that I am not alone in my battle against alcohol. I suppose binge drinking is a massive part of my culture (I am Scottish!) and I used that excuse for too long. Some people can handle their booze, but it would appear that i can't. It is going to be difficult but I simply cannot go on feeling the guilt and regret after a "session" which lasts for days on end. Thank you all again for your support. xxx

McKenna

Hi Susan, I am In the same boat! Irish upbringing and all. I am also new to this so I am glad to have people going through the same struggles. We can do it! We have to.

DarkDays

Controlled/moderating or any other kind of illusion as regards to poisoning ones self with alcohol is a thousand times harder than total abstinence . Moderating just feeds the obsession.

JJay

Irish here as well Got a bunch of tats to prove it

Susan80

@McKenna Thanks for your post - it's really tough when you have been brought up with alcohol been the main focus of every get together isn't it? It's like drinking loads of alcohol and feeling awful is perfectly normal! I suppose for some people it is normal and they know when to stop. . . problem is I always take it too far!

@darkdays yeah. . think I have been kidding myself. The only way is abstinence(not absinthe!)