Relapse :(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 3
Relapse :(
Hey everyone...so I had a relapse..on Monday night 
I drank two bottles of wine and had a hangover that was so bad yesterday I fainted I feel like a complete failure...why is this so hard...I've always known I had a very 'addictive' personality from quite a young age. For example, when I was younger, I would switch off my feelings by being obsessed with computer games, then it evolved to reading (one book after the next so I'd stop thinking), and the book trend lasted up until last year when all this drinking started...it feels like I'm always looking for something to stop me from 'feeling'. I'm very upset with myself, and as I'm quite a weak person (I once would got sick at the drop of a hat), I know my body can't take it anymore, despite the fact Im in my twenties. My last binge (before this one), scared me because I had a bad nose bleed...followed by a shooting pain up one side of my head. I get that pain periodically now. My cycle is completely messed up. I know I'm damaging myself, so I can't understand why I don't love myself enough to stop, why don't I care about myself? Or my family? I feel so selfish...if anything ever happened me they would be devastated. (They don't know about my addiction). I hate being this way :/
I drank two bottles of wine and had a hangover that was so bad yesterday I fainted I feel like a complete failure...why is this so hard...I've always known I had a very 'addictive' personality from quite a young age. For example, when I was younger, I would switch off my feelings by being obsessed with computer games, then it evolved to reading (one book after the next so I'd stop thinking), and the book trend lasted up until last year when all this drinking started...it feels like I'm always looking for something to stop me from 'feeling'. I'm very upset with myself, and as I'm quite a weak person (I once would got sick at the drop of a hat), I know my body can't take it anymore, despite the fact Im in my twenties. My last binge (before this one), scared me because I had a bad nose bleed...followed by a shooting pain up one side of my head. I get that pain periodically now. My cycle is completely messed up. I know I'm damaging myself, so I can't understand why I don't love myself enough to stop, why don't I care about myself? Or my family? I feel so selfish...if anything ever happened me they would be devastated. (They don't know about my addiction). I hate being this way :/
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi Edelady
I think the key to change...is change.
What changes have you made in your life to bolster your recovery?
How much support have you sought out?
It's easy to beat ourselves up - but it really doesn't get us anywhere
Use that energy to think about what you might add to what you've been doing.
You can do this - you just have to have a plan
D
I think the key to change...is change.
What changes have you made in your life to bolster your recovery?
How much support have you sought out?
It's easy to beat ourselves up - but it really doesn't get us anywhere
Use that energy to think about what you might add to what you've been doing.
You can do this - you just have to have a plan
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 23
Dee and Action have far better advise than I can give...but I can say that your body is never as weak as you think...it's amazing what it can bounce back from...I know this is morbid but we all die...we can't preserve ourselves for ever...wow...were did that come from? good luck to you...you can rebound from this...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
