padlock

Hi all.
My name is padlock, male, 47, live in GB. I've spent the last 27 years of my with substance and alcohol abuse. Although I no longer take drugs and haven't done for 5 years, my alcohol intake is around 400-500 units per week. I used to think I functioned quite well and I've managed to mask the worst of my drinking. After all, I finished college, had a good business of my own, bought a house. Got married, had three children. So not to bad then.i folded my business about six years ago due to financial difficulty, lost the house because I'd used the money in it to support my company. No worries though, I got a good job. My wife was working as a fire fighter. Soon pull it round I thought. Well my wife has a job now where she works away, the children have all left home, it's just me, the cats and the dog and the alcohol.
These few months with my wife working away have given me time to reflect. I lost my business because of my drinking, I lost my house because of my drinking. I did alright for a while but how much better would my life have been without drink and drug abuse. Could have been a better father, could have been a better husband. Well I'm a grandfather now and I can't function without alcohol any more. So it time to stop. Tried AA before, not for me. So here I am. I want to be that person I should have been. Not just for me but also for my family who I've cheated out of a better life than they have had. So here goes nothing. Hopefully I'll see some progress and let you know how I get on. Today was the first day in a very long time when I didn't have a drink before I went to work.

OldGoth

Hi Padlock, welcome to SR.
I'm a newbie to all of this myself. Similar age, from the UK and have been drinking way to much for way too long.
Well done on making this step, and I hope to continue chatting with you some more.
All best,
G

Sasha4

I can put my hand up and say I think this too. I could have more children. I could have been promoted or have a successful career. I could have more friends.

But that gets me nowhere and it's no that counts. Its now for you too.

You still can be a better father.
You still can be a better husband.

And the best thing is, you have realised this NOW, not before it is too late to change. You have time to make amends and work on being better if that is what you want to do.

I don't know how I would have managed without my parents when I had my baby. And I was not young, I was 36.

For the first year my Dad bought ever single packet of nappies.

He walked my baby for hours so I could have a daytime sleep as she was such a bad sleeper at night.

I crashed my car (not drink related) and we were taken into hospital in an ambulance and there he was. He dropped everything, came got me and my 9 month old and took us back to his house.

There is no reason you cannot work on making up for whatever you feel like you have to make up for from this moment on.

If your intake of alcohol is around 400 to 500 units a week, you need to be very, very careful.

There can be health risks stopping abruptly.
Don't take any risks.
Don't be too proud to ask for medical assistance.

I am not qualified to give you medical advice, but it might be worth having a chat to your GP.

I really do wish you well and hope you come back here and post and let us know how you are getting on.

escapist

We all could have done better if we stayed sober. I have a long list of regrets. It does no good to dwell on them. I know it's hard. I drank at work. I am the Boss so I could get away with it. While I was "getting away with it" I passed over opportunities to build my business. In our economy opportunity is rare. So, my business is limping along.
I quit drinking 5 weeks ago. Thank God.

This site played an enormous part in accomplishing my sobriety. Welcome.

Cat2012

Hi, I'm new to this as well, 5 weeks clean after 20yrs of drug abuse. It's hard work I know that much, good luck to ya

stevie88

Welcome padlock...Good to have you here....

MIRecovery

Definately seek medical advice. Alcohol withdrawl can be fatal.

The question is, if not AA what is your plan to stay sober?

Delilah1

Welcome Padlock! I have 40 days today due to the support of this site as well as working with my doctor and seeing a therapist biweekly.

Talking to a doctor is probably a good idea to make sure you don't have strong withdrawal symptoms.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

padlock

Thank you all for your kind replies. I well aware of withdrawal symptoms which is why I plan on cutting down gradually. But today was a good/ bad day. Didn't drink this morning or through the day and felt physically awfull but mentally good. Had my first drink on my return from work and at least I've stopped shaking now. But I recon I can do the same tomorrow, it's just the question of how much will I drink tonight. I only plan on a few pints, no spirits and no wine. I'll keep you posted.

Dee74

Welcome padlock

I definitely agree on the medical supervision - regardless of anything else, anyone drinking 400-500 units a week needs some professional input, in my opinion.

Not everyone has trouble, sure - but I had a very bad last detox, with lasting legacies.
Noone wants that, padlock.

I had a lot of 'shoulda woulda coulda' too. Fact is I didn't and I can't change that now.
I have done more in the last 5 years sober than I did in the 20 years before that drunk tho.

It's never too late for a fresh start Padlock

D

Hevyn

Padlock you can definitely do this. I drank all my life and never dreamed I'd be able to deal with life sober. It never occurred to me that I was actually making life harder on myself. Drinking hadn't been fun for a very long time - it was a necessity in the end. I was completely dependent on it, and knew I'd die if I didn't find a new way to live.

I would suggest you don't let remorse and guilt overtake you. None of us intended to allow alcohol to rule our lives, or have any impact on our loved ones. It happens without us even realizing it. Give yourself a break - and look forward to the wonderful new life you still have ahead of you.

padlock

Hey All,
onto day 2 with a cup of tea for breakfast. Difficult night last night, tried not to drink too much. have taken the day off today to go and see my Gp and also an alcohol misuse drop in where you can get to see a counseler, a bit like AA but called Can. I can't say how long it's going to take me to stop drinking, but i can say this place is already helping loads.

Cheers