Julynine

I'm on day 134 today and must admit for the past few weeks have been struggling a little. In general terms I haven't felt this good in a long time and all areas of my life have seen a significant improvemnet since I quit drinking.

My problem is with my job. I have a successful career working for a large multinational but have recently become disillusioned with work and it's starting to make me a little depressed. As my general well being improves, I'm finding I am working harder and tackling issues that just got ignored in the past due to the effects of alcohol.

I'm finding that I'm getting into more conflicts with colleagues as a result and sometimes wonder whether it was actually better to feel a little 'jaded' from the effects of alcohol, not tackle the issue and avoid the conflict. It's strange but I feel I'm just exchanging one set of problems for another. I've posted before about how i have tried wherever possible to keep things as simple as possible in sobriety but there comes a point where I need to 'break out' and unleash all the potential that has been surpressed for so long. The trouble is it's causing me issues and I want to have a beer to forget about everything.

I've always struggled to conform but don't seem to have the mental strength to be different without it causing me pain. I'm struggling to cope with it now I don't have alcohol to help me forget! I've got to this point in sobriety on at least 2 other occasions and can't seem to get through it.

Any advice welcomed

Thanks

Julynine

dogmamma

Hi,Julynine.

Your story sounds similar to mine. I had a very good job. I drank because it wasn't satisfactory to me for a lot of reasons. I just knew that if I could do this particular job at this particular place, I'd be a fool not to. So I did. And I drank to relieve myself of the dissatisfactory state my life was in.

I was able to stop drinking in stints, and things in my life did improve superficially, but I was on this happiness treadmill where I would run as fast as could and do everything I could, but I still wasn't happy.

Last month, I quit that job. I didn't have another (not advisable, but it was either that or drink myself out of one). I moved back to my adopted home state where I have some support so I can contemplate my next move. I ended up ruining a perfectly good career by leaving so abruptly, but it was wrong for me so I had to.

I'm not suggesting you're situation requires such drastic changes. I only tell you my story to suggest that if the choice is between drinking and being unhappy and not drinking and even less happy, it might be time to consider some radical changes.

Best of luck. I know this is hard.

Natom

I had a lot of issues surrounding work in my recovery. These developed into some pretty serious resentments against the company I was working for. Luckily I left and joined a new company but the lessons I learnt along the way helped me greatly.

Leave work at work, it's just a job, don't go mad. Don't put your all into work. Just turn up, do your job, then go home and leave. It's not a better idea to be jaded. It's just a better idea to do your job but stay detatched.

hypochondriac

I'm familiar with the whole conflict at work thing JulyNine. It is possible things will sort themselves out. I know that a lot of the difficulties I was having was about how I was feeling rather than them being actual problems. Give it time to see how things turn out and try not to do anything drastic, especially drinking! x

Thepatman

Pick your battles. You can learn that, I know I am trying to

nogard

Congrats on 134 days JulyNine. That sounds just like my voice of addiction telling me I woudl be better off if only ... I picked up ... had just one... it will be ok this time ...

What I do is acknowledge the voice and not act on it. I call a friend go to a meeting, in general get some support.

Anna

Isn't it surprising what pops up in our lives as our recovery continues! Congratulations on 134 days! I was not expecting some of the feelings that came along either. At some point, I realized that I wasn't the person I had believed I was. Maybe you need to make a change in your job situation, maybe even a career change? It sounds like you know this point in your recovery is going to be a bit of a hurdle for you. When something like that comes along, you know that a big breakthrough is nearby.