wornoutagain

Hi Everyone,

Im new to addiction and I have read this site till my eyes have bled. lol but true.

My boyfriend is addicted to lortabs. He got in an outpatient program and got on

suboxone in July. He was doing very well then just started making excuses.. He

missed appointments and meetings so he had no suboxone. He had to have his

wisdom teeth cut out last week and they gave him percs.....so you know where

is going....I know he is either still buying or withdrawing. He has no money and I

havent seen him in a few days to know about the withdrawing, I will know later

today when I see him.

My question is --Are there any happy endings to this sort of addiction? And

how do we get there?

I know you are going to say we dont get there--He does.

But if anyone has had success please respond with your story.

Thank you in advance and fingers crossed

MIRecovery

Unfortunately you already know the answer. Until he wants to get better there is little you can do. You can be there for if he ready other than that I would suggest alanon.

There are lots of happy endings but only when the person wants to get better.

artsoul

Welcome wornoutagain -

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Like you said, his recovery is up to him, but the good news is that he did seek treatment for it in July and was doing well which at least indicates a desire to get better.

Have you checked out the Family/Friends of Substance Abusers on our forum? You're not alone in this, and I think if you have ongoing support it will help you cope. Addiction isn't easy to deal with. I wish you and your boyfriend all the best.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

IndaMiricale

That is it. As much as loved ones want to help, all they really do is help it continue.

I suggest al-anon also.

Windancer

Of course these things can be resolved sometimes. I believe it really depends on the people involved. I doubt it is ever a smooth road though. I dont think it hurts to be hopeful...I just really recommend taking good care of yourself too.
My bf left me about 6 monthes ago due to my terrible alcoholism. We had dated for 3 years, lived together for 2. We still talk and see each other almost every day and it is only now that things are really looking like we may end up back together....and happier and healthier. Actually, it is lovely because it is almost like we are courting and rediscovering each other all over again....slowly, with my health and sobriety coming as priority #1. But it took time, space AND breaking up and living apart, and this wouldnt be the case if I hadnt been so committed to getting better. I have stumbled lots along the way, but I AM getting so much better. But I also know this doesnt always happen. It took me forgetting about him and focusing 100% on myself. I'll admit Im very lucky as he has been one of my best support systems (even as my ex).
This doesnt always happen, and try to remember that if it doesnt, it really isnt the end of the world. Like I mentioned, dont forget to take care of yourself and dont get too roped into his problems.

FamilyMan2153

Of course there are many happy stories. Not sure about the ending part since for most of us this is a life long journey. When he decides he wants it then it will get better. Make sure you take time for yourself. If you love him than support him as long as you can but do not enable.

wornoutagain

Thank You all for such quick responses..

I literally could not wait to get home to my computer.

Well after not seeing him for a few days, he was definatly not withdrawing, just his "normal" self. When he first admitted his addiction to me he would tell me that they made him feel "normal"

I could not bring up the subject because his children were with us, but i did observe him very carefully and to be honest its difficult.....maybe i noticed tiny pupils?? I sure was trying to look for anything.

I woiuld love to say I am not his enabler but sometimes I wonder...
He gets no money from me and I do not provide a roof over his head or food. His parents are doing a fine job of that. When he pawned everything he had they went and got it all back for him, they give him money in small sums for "gas" and such. They know about his problem and when he went to recovery after the fact. Recovery is very expensive and so is suboxone. But they just dont get it. he had a problem he got help and now he is fine..,yeah right.

I dont know how to get them to see its just not that simple. Total denial.

I know I have no control over anyone but myself but with them enabling him I really dont see a good outcome.

I know he does not want to take lortab but its seems to be so much easier for him and cheaper than recovery.

I do take care of myself but I also worry like crazy How do I stop that???

Thank You ALL for listening I can not tell you how much this is helping me and its only been a day. I dont feel alone for the first time and thats a great feeling

YoungAndClean

Well sorry to hear your having to deal with this. The bad news is he has a taste for opiates (lortab, percs, heroin, oxycontin, vicodin) etc. Those drugs are highly addicting and I would suggest he see an addiction therapist who may or may not put him back on suboxone. Also encourage him to go to AA/NA, but keep in mind if he doesn't want to sincerly quit he won't. I would give him a chance and see how he's doing but if after 6 months or so if he is still being dishonest or using opiates, than drop him like a bad habit. Thats what I'd do. And as an addict myself, I know the thought process of an addict.

wornoutagain

Thank you YoungAndClean

Six months is a very short time compared to the life-time I had planned to spend with this man and his children. I worry to death about what will happen to these two beautiful children If in 6 mos I have to walk away, because I cannot take them with me.

I hate these D@#$ Painkiillers. Why do they exist if they cause so much damage To so many innocent people? The victims are helpless and unknowing until its too late. It starts with a $.49 copay and escalates to a $150 a friggin day all because of an injured knee....how is this possible? Why are they so easy to get? We live in podunk no where not a city not even close, yet he can find them whenever.

The thought process of an addict???? I know I will never know because i will never put one of these pills in body.