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Hate how iam feeling.....

Old 11-18-2012, 10:57 AM
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Hate how iam feeling.....

So iam only 8 days sober feeling ok but no where near 100%, went out with family and friends for dinner in a nice pub/bistro and just started to feel anxious at one point I thought maybe this is why i liked to drink, then I get frustrated and worried because I don't want to drink, but I just want to be normal...

I hope that I will start to feel good with time any advice would be appreciated!!!
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:07 AM
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it is a process and not an overnight or 8 day event. Give it time and give it dedication. Just don't give up hope.
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:09 AM
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I'm only 5 days sober. This morning I really didn't feel like doing anything. Just wanted to crawl back under the covers and hide. I forced myself to go to the gym and I'm glad I did. It's good to surround yourself with positive, supportive people. I don't know if going to a pub was the best idea but that's just my opinion. Maybe just taking a quick walk or doing something active just for 20 minutes or so might help.
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:12 AM
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Well done for not drinking. I avoided going out at all for the first few months, I found it all very overwhelming to be out of my comfort zone especially if there was drink involved. I get slightly anxious when I'm in company anyway which is part of the reason I drank because it gave me confidence.
Give it time. I'm able to go out to restaurants now and it feels kind of normal and ok. I choose not to be around drunk people, not because I'm tempted, but just because I find it boring.
It still seems amazing to me that I now can go out and actually enjoy myself! If I'm in the company of good friends, moderate drinkers who don't question me or try and tempt me, I can relax and be myself.
It has taken almost 6 months but I'm getting there.
You will too, stay strong x
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:22 AM
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LH, hang in there. Day 8 does feel better than Day 3 doesn't it? The reason I had to start over from day 10 was a social situation that got to me. There wasn't even drinking at it, but it made me so uncomfortable I drove to the store right away, thinking "Ill just buy it, maybe not drink it - LOL". Of course I drank it when I got home.

Now I think it is OK to feel uncomfortable, just let the feeling come. If it gets to be too much, just change what I am doing. But drinking won't help it.

Day after tomorrow will be 10 days for us-I want to see you there!
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:31 AM
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Lionhearted, I do think you will start to feel normal again, physically. The anxiety issue was the same for me. It was a big reason I began to drink and it never went away completely when I stopped. But, I found a new normal for me and stopped blaming myself for who I was. I fully accepted my new normal self (who still has anxiety issues).

You did great getting through the dinner!
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:36 AM
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It takes a while, lionhearted - we've done a lot of damage to ourselves. You will begin to heal and feel better. Don't get discouraged. I was filled with anxiety in the beginning, and those feelings left, replaced by gratitude and hope for the future.
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:39 AM
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Day 2 for me and feeling like crap but actually feeling quite excited about the future. I am pretty confident that I will get there this time as it is the first time I actually realize I need to give up forever not just a break etc. Plan to go to work, come home, go to bed and get on this site for the next few days then slowly move back into the real world....I have a few work functions this week where there will be plenty of free alcohol but I am confident that I can resist and stick to the h2o.....hopefully the blood pressure will come down...
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Old 11-18-2012, 11:51 AM
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Something that helped me in situations like that, and still helps, is what they call 'urge surfing'. Here is an audio link: Urge Surfing on Vimeo
and a googled article. Urge Surfing: How to Overcome Addictive Behaviors
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Old 11-18-2012, 01:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 View Post
So iam only 8 days sober feeling ok but no where near 100%, went out with family and friends for dinner in a nice pub/bistro and just started to feel anxious at one point I thought maybe this is why i liked to drink, then I get frustrated and worried because I don't want to drink, but I just want to be normal...

I hope that I will start to feel good with time any advice would be appreciated!!!

I identify with this pretty strongly, as I'm at 8 days as well. Was at brunch with friends yesterday as they were talking about drinking etc (i didn't say anything, as I haven't made it known to friends that I've stopped drinking). Thankfully they didn't invite me so I didn't have to address it. Def had the feelings of frustration that I want to be able to drink "normally" but if I'm honest with myself know I can't. Personally, there are times I just feel like crawling into bed, but force self to keep busy. Stay strong, and remember why it was you had to stop drinking, and know if you could manage it you would have already. Have to remind myself of this frequently, as I try to lie to myself.
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Old 11-18-2012, 02:17 PM
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You did well LH! Personally I was a complete mess anywhere near alcohol for a few months. I had to do a few social things early on and I found it really difficult. It will get better and you will feel normal, just a normal person who doesn't drink Avoiding pubs is totally acceptable, as is going and feeling uncomfortable about it. There was no way people around me were accommodate my feelings by not drinking so I was glad I learnt to cope with it, but it took time more than exposure x
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Old 11-18-2012, 07:27 PM
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Lionhearted, congrats on 8 days and making it through the pub evening. I look back on the first 3 to 4 months and although I sure did not feel 100 per cent in the energy, enthusiasm or sociable department, I did find increasing esteem, awareness and presence in the moment as the days sober accumulated. There were physical improvements that started kicking in about 3 weeks and the anxiety receded. Mental fog took longer. It does go away. It gets lots better. The length of time it took to get over the alcohol dependence became a reinforcing element to sobriety, impressing on me the significant disruption of normal functioning caused by alcohol. Stick with your determination.
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