Class Of November 2012 - Part 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Thank you Freezingdwarf and Christopher99. Tough to keep from feeling like a loser right now, though.
I have to come up with a better way to deal with fatigue, stress, confrontation and difficult personalities rather than running away from it all. I'm going to think last night through as I go about cooking and last minute chores today.
Happy Thanksgiving to the both of you and be assured.. I truly appreciate your words.
I have to come up with a better way to deal with fatigue, stress, confrontation and difficult personalities rather than running away from it all. I'm going to think last night through as I go about cooking and last minute chores today.
Happy Thanksgiving to the both of you and be assured.. I truly appreciate your words.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Thanksgiving Song Adam Sandler with clips - YouTube
Have a wonderful day all.
Member We stay sober, I get drunk.
Have a wonderful day all.
Member We stay sober, I get drunk.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by NewLeaf 
I so screwed up last night. I was fine until my day started unraveling, my resolve weakened, and I finally snapped. I've been really run down the past week or so and woke up feeling absolutely exhausted (family member in ICU for the past month and other family issues). I was so happy and thankful that I had being sober on my side, though, so still had grand plans for the day.
I handled all the last minute monkey wrenches my adult kids threw at me (too long a story) but fell apart after my oldest got on my last nerve. Also too long to get into... but I self-medicated to deal with it all. I felt so trapped, because I couldn't post .. couldn't walk out of the house, couldn't get away or things/emotions would have exploded here and the evening would have ended badly.
I woke up this morning wondering if I'm going to have to hit rock bottom to ever kick this. I feel so beaten. How many times will I hopefully begin a day #1? Hating myself right now.
Guess I start again. Damn it.
Posting to hold myself accountable... so I don't run away from this like I have in the past.
I handled all the last minute monkey wrenches my adult kids threw at me (too long a story) but fell apart after my oldest got on my last nerve. Also too long to get into... but I self-medicated to deal with it all. I felt so trapped, because I couldn't post .. couldn't walk out of the house, couldn't get away or things/emotions would have exploded here and the evening would have ended badly.
I woke up this morning wondering if I'm going to have to hit rock bottom to ever kick this. I feel so beaten. How many times will I hopefully begin a day #1? Hating myself right now.
Guess I start again. Damn it.
Posting to hold myself accountable... so I don't run away from this like I have in the past.
I'm glad your back!!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Wow Happy Thanksgiving!!!
This tread moves fast... So many new people that I can totally relate with... Great job everyone keep up the good work and keep coming back.
More importantly stay sober and if you faulter come back, own it, and move on...
Love you all!!!
Wifi - d2
This tread moves fast... So many new people that I can totally relate with... Great job everyone keep up the good work and keep coming back.
More importantly stay sober and if you faulter come back, own it, and move on...
Love you all!!!
Wifi - d2
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by NewLeaf
I so screwed up last night. I was fine until my day started unraveling, my resolve weakened, and I finally snapped. I've been really run down the past week or so and woke up feeling absolutely exhausted (family member in ICU for the past month and other family issues). I was so happy and thankful that I had being sober on my side, though, so still had grand plans for the day.
I handled all the last minute monkey wrenches my adult kids threw at me (too long a story) but fell apart after my oldest got on my last nerve. Also too long to get into... but I self-medicated to deal with it all. I felt so trapped, because I couldn't post .. couldn't walk out of the house, couldn't get away or things/emotions would have exploded here and the evening would have ended badly.
I woke up this morning wondering if I'm going to have to hit rock bottom to ever kick this. I feel so beaten. How many times will I hopefully begin a day #1? Hating myself right now.
Guess I start again. Damn it.
Posting to hold myself accountable... so I don't run away from this like I have in the past.
I handled all the last minute monkey wrenches my adult kids threw at me (too long a story) but fell apart after my oldest got on my last nerve. Also too long to get into... but I self-medicated to deal with it all. I felt so trapped, because I couldn't post .. couldn't walk out of the house, couldn't get away or things/emotions would have exploded here and the evening would have ended badly.
I woke up this morning wondering if I'm going to have to hit rock bottom to ever kick this. I feel so beaten. How many times will I hopefully begin a day #1? Hating myself right now.
Guess I start again. Damn it.
Posting to hold myself accountable... so I don't run away from this like I have in the past.
One gal on here and I set it up so we can text each other on our phones. That will be helpful!!!
I'm rooting for you. Don't kick your self in the ass about it. It happens to all of us. I am happy you are here. That's all that counts, you being here with us and not drinking.
JB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 133
Rant alert! Apology/thanks in advance.
So, I was cooking for Mom and brother, only she won't let anyone (even her) turn on the oven part of her brand new (6 months old) stove. So I was doing most of it at my house and took it over there. She also doesn't have a microwave (doesn't want it) or a convection oven (same), so my brother was over there heating up vegetables and I cooked and heated until piping hot and took it over there. She also won't go anywhere to eat (on oxygen and won't do it) and I couldn't pick up an already made dinner cause the closest place with one is like 30 minutes away - no way to reheat at her house.
The point being is that I was getting so frustrated while I was doing it, because all of her 'regulations' made it WAY harder than it had to be, I was really thinking, if I can just get thru this, I'll leave, get some red wine and drink the night away. And I have serious stuff to do tomorrow. But I could not act on it before dinner (my mother also doesn't drink and thinks it is simply a character flaw I could never overcome - which is why I'm not even getting into a discussion with her this time about it).
So we had dinner, listened to my brother rant about the problems of the world (he is not an authority on the matter - by a long shot - hasn't even left this podunk town but maybe once a year for 20 years) for an hour, he left, I did all her dishes, loaded up my car with my dishes and left. I really didn't want to wake up feeling bad. And I'm pretty full right now. I talked myself into getting an energy drink and going home to do my dishes. At least for now.
Sorry to whine on, my parents divorced 10 years ago, later my dad remarried a MUCH younger (by 40+ years) woman from another country and he died suddenly two years ago. That is the main reason I moved here to help my mother - because it is hard to tell how much time anyone has left. My other siblings live out of state and don't travel home for T'giving anymore. Our family dynamic is very different than the way I knew it for most of my life.
I used to get all of the guilt when I didn't come for T'giving - was always the black sheep, even before I did real bad stuff. Now, being here, I see that the other siblings (out of state) have set boundaries away from this dysfunctional setting (they just didn't explain it to me and they are also not criticized for it). And that makes me mad.
So basically, just saying, Day 12, all the buttons pushed already and while I was leaving, Mom made sure to sing my brother's praises for his "knowledge" of various issues (which is a very tunnel-vision view of social issues - my degree is in Sociology, and I have lived in several large cities and worked in several fields and I just have to sit there and be quiet which is VERY HARD for me to do).
I'm just feeling some resentment for shopping for, cooking and cleaning pretty much everything. And I'm not sure that is wrong, because if I didn't, there would not have been any T'giving for Mom. And it pisses me off that it makes me sound like a martyr. And the weird part of it is, during part of his rant, I began to feel like I was drunk. For about 5 minutes. And I don't even understand that.
OK writing this down helped a wee bit.
Thanks for this forum. Maybe you can get at least a laugh out of this rant. Hope the rest of you guys had a more 'normal' T'giving.
So, I was cooking for Mom and brother, only she won't let anyone (even her) turn on the oven part of her brand new (6 months old) stove. So I was doing most of it at my house and took it over there. She also doesn't have a microwave (doesn't want it) or a convection oven (same), so my brother was over there heating up vegetables and I cooked and heated until piping hot and took it over there. She also won't go anywhere to eat (on oxygen and won't do it) and I couldn't pick up an already made dinner cause the closest place with one is like 30 minutes away - no way to reheat at her house.
The point being is that I was getting so frustrated while I was doing it, because all of her 'regulations' made it WAY harder than it had to be, I was really thinking, if I can just get thru this, I'll leave, get some red wine and drink the night away. And I have serious stuff to do tomorrow. But I could not act on it before dinner (my mother also doesn't drink and thinks it is simply a character flaw I could never overcome - which is why I'm not even getting into a discussion with her this time about it).
So we had dinner, listened to my brother rant about the problems of the world (he is not an authority on the matter - by a long shot - hasn't even left this podunk town but maybe once a year for 20 years) for an hour, he left, I did all her dishes, loaded up my car with my dishes and left. I really didn't want to wake up feeling bad. And I'm pretty full right now. I talked myself into getting an energy drink and going home to do my dishes. At least for now.
Sorry to whine on, my parents divorced 10 years ago, later my dad remarried a MUCH younger (by 40+ years) woman from another country and he died suddenly two years ago. That is the main reason I moved here to help my mother - because it is hard to tell how much time anyone has left. My other siblings live out of state and don't travel home for T'giving anymore. Our family dynamic is very different than the way I knew it for most of my life.
I used to get all of the guilt when I didn't come for T'giving - was always the black sheep, even before I did real bad stuff. Now, being here, I see that the other siblings (out of state) have set boundaries away from this dysfunctional setting (they just didn't explain it to me and they are also not criticized for it). And that makes me mad.
So basically, just saying, Day 12, all the buttons pushed already and while I was leaving, Mom made sure to sing my brother's praises for his "knowledge" of various issues (which is a very tunnel-vision view of social issues - my degree is in Sociology, and I have lived in several large cities and worked in several fields and I just have to sit there and be quiet which is VERY HARD for me to do).
I'm just feeling some resentment for shopping for, cooking and cleaning pretty much everything. And I'm not sure that is wrong, because if I didn't, there would not have been any T'giving for Mom. And it pisses me off that it makes me sound like a martyr. And the weird part of it is, during part of his rant, I began to feel like I was drunk. For about 5 minutes. And I don't even understand that.
OK writing this down helped a wee bit.
Thanks for this forum. Maybe you can get at least a laugh out of this rant. Hope the rest of you guys had a more 'normal' T'giving.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 133
Just to be clear, I felt like I was drunk during my brother's rant after dinner, not while I was writing my rant (although - it may have seemed that way 'cause of so much rambling).
Has anyone ever felt like they were drunk when they were not? At 12 days? Maybe just being in the family dynamic, biting my tongue, and feeling all of this mixed-up stuff made it happen. But I don't recall it ever happening before.
Has anyone ever felt like they were drunk when they were not? At 12 days? Maybe just being in the family dynamic, biting my tongue, and feeling all of this mixed-up stuff made it happen. But I don't recall it ever happening before.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Good night everyone. I've had a good read but I'm tired so can't post loads. Well done to everyone. rochele you superstar!!
I'm signing out on day 27. I had a few practice days in October and carried on through, but consider myself a NOvie!! My plan was to be sober from halloween. A new Shamian start!
Anyone reading this and waiting for December, start today and get some practice in! You won't regret it.
4 weeks in and I'm really starting to get compliments in how well I'm looking. I'm feeling pretty great too.
Good night folks
S x
I'm signing out on day 27. I had a few practice days in October and carried on through, but consider myself a NOvie!! My plan was to be sober from halloween. A new Shamian start!
Anyone reading this and waiting for December, start today and get some practice in! You won't regret it.
4 weeks in and I'm really starting to get compliments in how well I'm looking. I'm feeling pretty great too.
Good night folks
S x
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by solstice3
Rant alert! Apology/thanks in advance.
So, I was cooking for Mom and brother, only she won't let anyone (even her) turn on the oven part of her brand new (6 months old) stove. So I was doing most of it at my house and took it over there. She also doesn't have a microwave (doesn't want it) or a convection oven (same), so my brother was over there heating up vegetables and I cooked and heated until piping hot and took it over there. She also won't go anywhere to eat (on oxygen and won't do it) and I couldn't pick up an already made dinner cause the closest place with one is like 30 minutes away - no way to reheat at her house.
The point being is that I was getting so frustrated while I was doing it, because all of her 'regulations' made it WAY harder than it had to be, I was really thinking, if I can just get thru this, I'll leave, get some red wine and drink the night away. And I have serious stuff to do tomorrow. But I could not act on it before dinner (my mother also doesn't drink and thinks it is simply a character flaw I could never overcome - which is why I'm not even getting into a discussion with her this time about it).
So we had dinner, listened to my brother rant about the problems of the world (he is not an authority on the matter - by a long shot - hasn't even left this podunk town but maybe once a year for 20 years) for an hour, he left, I did all her dishes, loaded up my car with my dishes and left. I really didn't want to wake up feeling bad. And I'm pretty full right now. I talked myself into getting an energy drink and going home to do my dishes. At least for now.
Sorry to whine on, my parents divorced 10 years ago, later my dad remarried a MUCH younger (by 40+ years) woman from another country and he died suddenly two years ago. That is the main reason I moved here to help my mother - because it is hard to tell how much time anyone has left. My other siblings live out of state and don't travel home for T'giving anymore. Our family dynamic is very different than the way I knew it for most of my life.
I used to get all of the guilt when I didn't come for T'giving - was always the black sheep, even before I did real bad stuff. Now, being here, I see that the other siblings (out of state) have set boundaries away from this dysfunctional setting (they just didn't explain it to me and they are also not criticized for it). And that makes me mad.
So basically, just saying, Day 12, all the buttons pushed already and while I was leaving, Mom made sure to sing my brother's praises for his "knowledge" of various issues (which is a very tunnel-vision view of social issues - my degree is in Sociology, and I have lived in several large cities and worked in several fields and I just have to sit there and be quiet which is VERY HARD for me to do).
I'm just feeling some resentment for shopping for, cooking and cleaning pretty much everything. And I'm not sure that is wrong, because if I didn't, there would not have been any T'giving for Mom. And it pisses me off that it makes me sound like a martyr. And the weird part of it is, during part of his rant, I began to feel like I was drunk. For about 5 minutes. And I don't even understand that.
OK writing this down helped a wee bit.
Thanks for this forum. Maybe you can get at least a laugh out of this rant. Hope the rest of you guys had a more 'normal' T'giving.
So, I was cooking for Mom and brother, only she won't let anyone (even her) turn on the oven part of her brand new (6 months old) stove. So I was doing most of it at my house and took it over there. She also doesn't have a microwave (doesn't want it) or a convection oven (same), so my brother was over there heating up vegetables and I cooked and heated until piping hot and took it over there. She also won't go anywhere to eat (on oxygen and won't do it) and I couldn't pick up an already made dinner cause the closest place with one is like 30 minutes away - no way to reheat at her house.
The point being is that I was getting so frustrated while I was doing it, because all of her 'regulations' made it WAY harder than it had to be, I was really thinking, if I can just get thru this, I'll leave, get some red wine and drink the night away. And I have serious stuff to do tomorrow. But I could not act on it before dinner (my mother also doesn't drink and thinks it is simply a character flaw I could never overcome - which is why I'm not even getting into a discussion with her this time about it).
So we had dinner, listened to my brother rant about the problems of the world (he is not an authority on the matter - by a long shot - hasn't even left this podunk town but maybe once a year for 20 years) for an hour, he left, I did all her dishes, loaded up my car with my dishes and left. I really didn't want to wake up feeling bad. And I'm pretty full right now. I talked myself into getting an energy drink and going home to do my dishes. At least for now.
Sorry to whine on, my parents divorced 10 years ago, later my dad remarried a MUCH younger (by 40+ years) woman from another country and he died suddenly two years ago. That is the main reason I moved here to help my mother - because it is hard to tell how much time anyone has left. My other siblings live out of state and don't travel home for T'giving anymore. Our family dynamic is very different than the way I knew it for most of my life.
I used to get all of the guilt when I didn't come for T'giving - was always the black sheep, even before I did real bad stuff. Now, being here, I see that the other siblings (out of state) have set boundaries away from this dysfunctional setting (they just didn't explain it to me and they are also not criticized for it). And that makes me mad.
So basically, just saying, Day 12, all the buttons pushed already and while I was leaving, Mom made sure to sing my brother's praises for his "knowledge" of various issues (which is a very tunnel-vision view of social issues - my degree is in Sociology, and I have lived in several large cities and worked in several fields and I just have to sit there and be quiet which is VERY HARD for me to do).
I'm just feeling some resentment for shopping for, cooking and cleaning pretty much everything. And I'm not sure that is wrong, because if I didn't, there would not have been any T'giving for Mom. And it pisses me off that it makes me sound like a martyr. And the weird part of it is, during part of his rant, I began to feel like I was drunk. For about 5 minutes. And I don't even understand that.
OK writing this down helped a wee bit.
Thanks for this forum. Maybe you can get at least a laugh out of this rant. Hope the rest of you guys had a more 'normal' T'giving.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
I called my son, who rarely calls me, and left him a message saying I wanted to tell him happy Thanksgiving.
So he sends me a Facebook message, "Happy Thanksgiving, thanks for the call".
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. I will not drink I will not drink.
So he sends me a Facebook message, "Happy Thanksgiving, thanks for the call".
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. I will not drink I will not drink.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Congratulations to all those who are making it through
To those who are struggling - I'm sorry...I know family dynamics.
I think planning is the key - if you can plan out strategies before hand it really helps.
I don't think anyone needs to hit bottom either.
Whether nothing happens or our world falls apart after a drink, recovery starts with a decision to commit...really commit...to doing things differently.
We can make that decision now or in 10, 20 years time, but I know which I'd choose
There *are* other ways to deal with things - they're not as immediate, they take time and effort, and we may have to sit with feelings we don;t want to sit with for a little while...
but the way forward means taking drinking off the table as a viable option, I think.
I know everyone here can do it
D
To those who are struggling - I'm sorry...I know family dynamics.
I think planning is the key - if you can plan out strategies before hand it really helps.
I don't think anyone needs to hit bottom either.
Whether nothing happens or our world falls apart after a drink, recovery starts with a decision to commit...really commit...to doing things differently.
We can make that decision now or in 10, 20 years time, but I know which I'd choose
There *are* other ways to deal with things - they're not as immediate, they take time and effort, and we may have to sit with feelings we don;t want to sit with for a little while...
but the way forward means taking drinking off the table as a viable option, I think.
I know everyone here can do it
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
Posts: 198
Day 2
On day 2.
Today I am doing pretty well. last night is another story. I had some anxiety, woke up every hour with weird dreams, dizzy, shaky hands. I am not sure if I am stopping forever, but I have been drinking pretty much every day for the last three years and even before that I was drinking a little too much. I am more of a wine drinker. This past year has been tough, and my drinking got worse. I guess I should of known to stop when I knocked three of my front teeth out three months ago and I dont even know how it happened!!!! Scary!Instead I just kept drinking.
My hands are less shaky today, I have a little anxiety but my mind does not want to drink, my body does. I hope the night time stuff gets better. I felt pretty run down today. My eyes burn. Does anyone know when it starts getting better and when the bloating and redness of my face will go away. I hope I make it through another night wo drinking. Any suggestions/advice would be appreciated. I am very impressed by all of you
Today I am doing pretty well. last night is another story. I had some anxiety, woke up every hour with weird dreams, dizzy, shaky hands. I am not sure if I am stopping forever, but I have been drinking pretty much every day for the last three years and even before that I was drinking a little too much. I am more of a wine drinker. This past year has been tough, and my drinking got worse. I guess I should of known to stop when I knocked three of my front teeth out three months ago and I dont even know how it happened!!!! Scary!Instead I just kept drinking.
My hands are less shaky today, I have a little anxiety but my mind does not want to drink, my body does. I hope the night time stuff gets better. I felt pretty run down today. My eyes burn. Does anyone know when it starts getting better and when the bloating and redness of my face will go away. I hope I make it through another night wo drinking. Any suggestions/advice would be appreciated. I am very impressed by all of you
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi Wino - I think everyones different...but it usually took me a week or so to feel better.
Do see your Dr tho if you're concerned
and don't hope...do...
sit on here if you have to.
There's a lot of support
D
Do see your Dr tho if you're concerned
and don't hope...do...
sit on here if you have to.
There's a lot of support
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Just wanted to post an update here...
I spent the majority of my day alone cooking and thinking about what it's going to take for me to make some changes in my life going forward. It was WONDERFUL to have this quiet time to myself while my family was visiting my father-in-law who's been in ICU for over a month and to visit other family members.
You guys are great, and I'm committed to remaining a part of this "Novie" class.
Thank you.
Day #1 again and happy I'm here. One day at a time....
I spent the majority of my day alone cooking and thinking about what it's going to take for me to make some changes in my life going forward. It was WONDERFUL to have this quiet time to myself while my family was visiting my father-in-law who's been in ICU for over a month and to visit other family members.
You guys are great, and I'm committed to remaining a part of this "Novie" class.
Thank you.
Day #1 again and happy I'm here. One day at a time....
Serenity Now!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 112
ive been sleeping a lot, lately. id kill for a drink right about now, im forgetting what that initial buzz feels like. day 8 is almost in the books.
wino so what happened with yer teeth, did you get those implants i see in dentist offices er what. i got punched in the face one night. luckily had braces at the time worked like a badass mouthguard. just tore my lips to ****. but still got my teeth, you?
wino so what happened with yer teeth, did you get those implants i see in dentist offices er what. i got punched in the face one night. luckily had braces at the time worked like a badass mouthguard. just tore my lips to ****. but still got my teeth, you?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
This thread might give you a few tips, Wino?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Drinking only takes us back to the beginning again.
You've come this far - stick with it
Another day or so and generally most of us start to feel better
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Drinking only takes us back to the beginning again.
You've come this far - stick with it
Another day or so and generally most of us start to feel better
D
Serenity NOW!!
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 21
Count me in!
Hi, I'm AAmy and have 9 days sober. I'm an alcoholic, begged my hubby to check me into detox on Nov 12th, stayed 4 days and boy was it an eye opener. I met people from all walks of life with all kinds of addictions, I was actually in the minority being "only" addicted to alcohol. I have a new appreciation for the awful grips of addiction and how it can effect anyone.
A little bit about me, married for 17 years this coming sunday, 3 kids 12 year old son and 8 year old twin girls. I suppose I was a functioning alcoholic for the past 2 years, but the past 4 months I really spiraled into a sloppy, drunken mess. I was hiding booze in the yard, in my laundry room, drinking in the morning (never before work, but Superstorm Sandy gave me a lot of time off to be drunk as long as I was awake.) I have a great job (they don't know), great friends and my sister is very supportive.
Today is the first thanksgiving I wasn't hungover in the morning and drunk by noon. I feel a lot better but still think, "ah a glass of wine would be so nice right about now." I joined AA and am attending intensive outpatient therapy 3 nights a week. Wish me luck!
Okay, enough of my rambling and sorry so long. I wish everyone here strength and would love to offer and accept support from the group.
AAmy
A little bit about me, married for 17 years this coming sunday, 3 kids 12 year old son and 8 year old twin girls. I suppose I was a functioning alcoholic for the past 2 years, but the past 4 months I really spiraled into a sloppy, drunken mess. I was hiding booze in the yard, in my laundry room, drinking in the morning (never before work, but Superstorm Sandy gave me a lot of time off to be drunk as long as I was awake.) I have a great job (they don't know), great friends and my sister is very supportive.
Today is the first thanksgiving I wasn't hungover in the morning and drunk by noon. I feel a lot better but still think, "ah a glass of wine would be so nice right about now." I joined AA and am attending intensive outpatient therapy 3 nights a week. Wish me luck!
Okay, enough of my rambling and sorry so long. I wish everyone here strength and would love to offer and accept support from the group.
AAmy
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