Sunnybird03

I've been on this website before, never posted though. I've been drinking for a long time now. Seems like it's been getting worse within the past year. For three months I've tried to quit. Promised myself I was quitting and felt great about my decisions. Two or three days into my "quitting" I'm back at the liquor store buying a bottle. I drink half, feel horrible and have MASSIVE amounts of anxiety. Throw the rest of the bottle down the drain and swear all over I'm done...this is it!

I work, I eat good, I run in my spare time, I have an amazing husband. I don't need this crap I my life. I know I need to stop but have no idea how to break this horrible cycle I'm in. I know when I drink that it's only going to cause me misery, so why do I do it? I honest to God don't even enjoy it anymore.

How have people ever broken their habits and the routines they get stuck in when it comes to alcohol?

Thepatman

From a 4 day sober guy, keep busy and just decide you have given IT to much power.
Did a month before, I felt so happy and the shame was replaced with pride. Once you get going it's ok, just have to watch for triggers and have a support system like this place or AA for exemple

Best of luck happy you are here!

Dee74

Hi Sunnybird
welcome

I think supports important - read and post here as much as you like...check out our Class of November thread too.

There's a wide range of face to face support in the real world too - things like AA and other recovery groups, and counselling, rehabs (not all are inpatient)...

It pretty much depends on what you're prepared to do to change your situation - but you'll find a ton of support here, whatever you decide

D

nogard

Hi Sunnybird, glad your here and talking

zanzibar

Welcome Sunny, maybe it's time to stop trying to quit and time to quit period.

Read around most have their own version of how they stopped, and see how they did it. Use this to build a quitting and recovery plan that works for you, and post lots for extra support.

artsoul

Welcome Sunnybird!

By the time I found this forum, I'd broken a hundred promises to myself to get sober and asked myself the same questions you're asking. I'm not sure there are any easy answers, but I do know that reaching out for help/support is really important and you did that today....

Keep reading and posting. You're not alone - we understand what you're going through......

Sunnybird03

I'm so frustrated to know what I want to do, know what I NEED to do and can't seem to do it. I feel weak and pathetic most days.

lohan

Glad you're here, and I know how you feel. You're not alone. I am on day two again, don't know why I torture myself so. I stopped enjoying drinking long ago and the detox is horrible. Found myself at in the liquor store parking lot yesterday and really don't remember the drive. It's instinct pulling in. Sat there for 5 minutes, but chose to leave. Wasn't easy.

You might try an AA meeting or even just reading from The Big Book. You'll definitely feel less alone and down on yourself when you realize how many people share your same struggles and feelings. Best wishes to you. Just remember, one day at a time.

Dee74

Great waves start from tiny ripples Sunnybird

If you've been drinking for a long time, I recommend you see your Dr - or another Dr if thats easier - get checked out, see what they suggest...

then you can start your new sober life, one day at a time

D

zanzibar

Doctors can help immensly if it's withdrawls your concerned about. This can make it much easier.

Admitting to someone close to you that you trust completly that you are an alcoholic can help a lot as well because it gets it off your chest. This seems small but it's no easy feat and can help create a great calming effect. If this is something you're comfortable with.

But however you decide we'll be here for you as much as you need us. This place never sleeps.

Sunnybird03

I too have driven to the liquor store without even realizing how I got there. Today I was in the lane to go the other way and flipped around to go back. I keep thinking about how happy and proud of myself I would be tonight if I hadn't turned around.

instant

Hi Sunnybird. I struggled to get a foothold in sobriety. The torment went ob for years. Sometimes I "gave up" on giving up. Rinse and repeat. Sometimes not even rinse.

In the end I acknowledged that this is the nature of this addiction, and breaking free can be easier said than done. On one of my two day giving up / breaks I joined SR and read the Big Book (free online), and learnt a bit about AVRT. I am now 18 months sober. It is possible.

zanzibar

Don't get discouraged. Keep that thought fresh in your mind for next time.

Sunnybird03

Thanks everyone. I have admitted a little to my husband about my problem. Scarred him pretty good and we decided on cutting out alcohol for a while. I felt great for two weeks, and decided I felt so great, I should celebrate with a bottle of vodka. He came home to find me drunk and was so upset, and hurt. I can't do this to him again. I'm not really sure who to talk to. I have an appointment with a counselor next tuesday, hoping she might help.

choublak

That's the nature of alcoholism, it can cause you to deceive yourself into thinking you can drink again.

You could celebrate by making yourself a cake next time lol.

zanzibar

The counselor may help a lot.

You met your AV (alcoholic voice) that voice in your head that says you've done good Sunny you deserve a drink. You have to ignore this guy as he/she does not have your best interest in mind.