mustardonly77

I've been sober for six days. I've admitted I'm an alchoholic for the first time, and this is the first time I've wanted to get sober and not "cut back".

Many of my friends drink, including my best friend whom drinks daily. I haven't hung out with anybody/ left home (work schedule has made it easier). Was talking with my wife some of my frustration in that I can't / don't want to avoid my friends. She brought up waiting at least a month or two months before being around people who are drinking.

What was some of your experiences with this? My wife believes I'm fooling myself into thinking "I'll be fine" (as that is something I'd tell her before, 90% of the time ended up drunk)

appreciate any feedback/ advice/thoughts

doggonecarl

Your wife is smart. Listen to her. She has your best interests at heart.

Arrdubya

Day 4 for me. I have same problem. All my friends and most of my family drink. I'm leaning towards making new friends.

tomsteve

whenever i tried to stop drinking, hanging around poeple who drank was russian roullette and i eventually hit the loaded barrel and eneded up drunk again.

"My wife believes I'm fooling myself into thinking "I'll be fine" (as that is something I'd tell her before, 90% of the time ended up drunk) "

you already know yer chances are about 10% you wont drink, hence, russian roullette.

PaperDolls

Sounds like proof right there.


May be you could invite your friends to do some sober things with you. If they aren't interested .... may be you can hang out in the future.

I personally had bad experiences hanging out with people drinking and/or at bars with friends. It never ended up well.

Congrats on your sober time!

Fernaceman

Right now, at this very moment, I am around a group of soon to be relatives who are drinking pretty heavily at a restaurant at 1:30pm. It is actually making me quite uncomfortable and makes me notice just how really stupid the whole thing is. What reminds me I am an acoholic even more is if I had no consequences you bet I would be joining them right now....probably doesn't help that I am trying to quit smoking, too.

I just find it amazing that these folks think there is nothing wrong with kickin back very hard. I guess I am very envious in this moment.

mustardonly77

thanks for the feedback, not the answer I wanted, but what I needed to hear.

Dee74

I wanted to be sober so badly I stayed away from alcohol centered events and away from my friends who drank like I used to.

I stayed away until I was rock solid sure that nothing in my surroundings or the company I kept or what I was feeling that day would influence me away from what I knew was the right path for me.

Getting to that point took a few months for me.

At 6 days, hanging with the friends I used to drink with in the places I used to drink at...I think the results would be inevitable.

You don't need to be a hermit - there are other things to do with your time apart from drinking, or watching others drink....sports, hobbies, interests...taking your wife out?

D

zanzibar

I think you should listen to your wife. She's sounds like she has a good idea of what you're up against, and wants to help and support you.

Many don't have the luxury of good support at home, so use it to your advantage.

MIRecovery

Your best thinking got you to where you are. Might be a good time to listen to somebody else like your wife

mecanix

I did something simmalar to Dee . Stayed away from pubs and people for a few months . When i first went back in a pub there were three men at the bar with red eyes having a beer at 11 am .
It was a leaving do for a colleauge so we asked one guy to take a group photo, poor guy couldn't hold the camera steady enough to take a picture. Made me think, just incase i needed a reminder ...

I was "lucky" by the time i seriously gave up drinking most people didn't want to know me as i was a mess . Some people you thought were friends will still be friends and you'll find out others were just drinking buddies .

Good news is there are lots of sober people out there to be friendly with and have healthy friendships with, where the focus isn't taking mind altering substances .

Good luck , M

Bgh2002

I think a month or two is a wise decision to abstain from drinking related activites so you can establish a foundation for yourself. Opt for more sober activities with friends if your feeling restless because I really believe being around supportive people early on is an excellent help. Theres also AA to help you gain some sober friends and perspective. Time and abstinence will make you stronger!

Xune

I usually avoid those situations, but when around people drinking, I just make a choice not to drink.

My entire life hangs in the balance and I make the choice knowing that.

Fernaceman

Yeah. I guess I am currently making that choice. I guess I am the one who put myself in the position of no longer beig acceptable to drink, so others should t have to tippy toe around me just to appease me. Quite frankly, I get pissed if people around me don't drink because of my "situation." What I didn't mention earlier is these people had just buried their father an hour prior to that.

Wtf that is such self centered thinking yet again making everything all about me. Glad I do, however, consciously have the choice to NOT drink now. Before, it wasn't even an option.

nogard

Some great points here, why play with a loaded gun? Spend time with your wife and family go to movies and other things that interest you. Do some sport. Meet new people and make friends.

pmpage

I'd make some new recovery friends for now. Go to some meetings. Raise your hand & share about this. It will bring people to you. Once you have some sober time in you'll feel confident enough to be with your friends again but on your terms. Don't meet them at the bar. Maybe be sure to have your wife with you the 1st few times if you can. Try to NOT be the only one present that doesn't drink.

Hang in there, one day @ a time life becomes easier....

Mark75

6 days sober and you want to hang around people who are drinking, your friends? Did you want to stay sober? IDK... I can only speak for myself, but that would have absolutely SUCKED, even if I did stay sober.

Wives are very intelligent and know us better than we do.

Wait.

Anna

I had to stay away from alcohol and people drinking for many months (more than one or two). I just couldn't do it otherwise. It stressed me out so much that I was a mess. And, I have never regretted it for a minute. In fact, I still choose to not spend much time around alcohol or people who are drinking. My life has changed.

soberbythesea

I feel the same way as Anna.

I generally will not go to any event that takes place in a bar and/or is centered solely around drinking. If drinking is the primary activity, then I'm not going to be there. That rule is pretty much hard and fast for me.

Now, I'm not going to freak out if I'm at dinner and my friend orders a glass of wine. But if drinking and getting drunk is clearly the main event, then that's not someplace I belong anymore. And frankly I really don't see that changing, even down the road. I'm a recovering alcoholic. There is no need for me to be in a bar ever. A real friend can spend time with me somewhere else.

jennikate

I feel the same way. I am almost 6 mths out and have no desire to hang at bars or mainly drinking events. I did lose a few friends but luckily I drank mostly in my bedroom so all my friends were gone. Well, I guess, it's not lucky but didn't land me in this situation. I too don't mind my husband or a friend having a beer with dinner or whatnot but anything more than that is just not my scene anymore.